Age is nothing but a number and all that crap

cakeToday it’s my birthday. I’m one year older than yesterday. I still haven’t found my purpose on this planet. Maybe I never find it but that’s OK. I’m not really looking for one either. I’m not expecting any surprises. I’ve never had any positive ones. I’ve never met someone I thought I would never meet. No job opportunity has fallen down my lap. No special achievements to brag about in resumes. Maybe my purpose is not having anything special planned. Maybe not everyone is supposed to have an exciting life. Some must have a boring and calm life.

I don’t mind getting older. That’s something everyone has to go through. But not having achieved much before 40 (almost there) that’s what depressive. As the times goes by, the less I think about birthdays. It’s just one step closer to death. I’m not one of those who are afraid of getting older. That’s something you can’t change. No matter how young you try to look, you still gonna die one day. What’s the point with all the plastic surgeries and wrinkle creams when one day you’ll be gone anyway? Why can’t people just accept of who they are? People are so shallow. It’s Hollywood all over the world soon.

Don’t get me started with age discrimination in work places. If you’re in your 40-ish or 50-ish, they thing you’re passed it but just because you’re getting older doesn’t mean you can’t learn new things. My mother used to say when you’re turning 40 it’s harder to find a job. I couldn’t even get a job in my twenties. But she was right. It will get harder but you should still not give up. I wish I could be as hopeful as I give this advice. I’m just not strong enough to take a risk. I prefer being in my comfort zone. If I try something new, it’s always online. If it’s a movie I haven’t seen before or an online game I haven’t played, that’s as far as risk taking goes. It’s lame but I’ve always been a coward (introversion is one reason)

Age is nothing but a number until an outsider says “you’re too old” It’s OK to get older as long as you stay in your twenties. Luckily no one has never said I was too old. But that day might come sooner or later. Who said you have to achieve something at a certain age? I feel like a looser compared to my age group but I shouldn’t compare them. They are not me. I won’t become depressed if I’ve never get anywhere in life. I’m still here and maybe that’s my purpose. To be here at this moment and this life. Besides there has to be someone who still have some sense in their heads and not acting like a loose cannon. Now there seem to be more selfishness and a me, me culture. The whole world seems to be lost and helpless. If there were more people like me, not trying to brag here, this life would make more sense.


It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to

My birthday is today. This is my cake I made myself

Ah, birthdays. You hate them or you love them. For me it only means I’m one year older. Getting older is not the problem. That’s natural. What I don’t like about it, is how little I have achieved so far. I haven’t even had a real job. Even getting an internship is difficult. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Luck hasn’t really been on my side. Getting somewhere, you need some luck. I don’t belive you can make your own. Only people say that who have achieved something.
There’s a lot of people that come from nothing and then they become famous or millionares. But they have some luck too. They’ve also known how to get out of that hole.

The saying goes. If your unlucky in cards. You’re lucky in love. But I’ve no luck in either of them. But I’m not that old. I still have time for anything. I just need to pick up the courage and not be such a coward. If it only was that easy.

Happy birthday to me anyway.

It’s your birthday they say

Today it’s my birthday (and Wentworth Miller) It’s also the 1st time my mother is not around. Birthdays doesn’t mean that much to me. It was different when I was a kid. Presents and that stuff. Today birthdays are just one step closer to death. Even if it’s at least 40 years left of my life. Age is nothing but a number anyway. A lot of people are afraid to get old but not to me. We are meant to get old. No one lives forever. It’s not what age you are, it’s about what age you feel.

For me, my birthday is just going out to lunch (like me and dad did today) and that’s about it. Besides I hate parties anyway so I don’t need that.