When I started blogging in 2014, I didn’t know what kind of blog I would have. I knew it wouldn’t be the same as everyone else. I wanted it to be different. I also didn’t want my life to be out there on the internet. I’m a private person and I don’t have anything interesting to say. I just wanted to write things down and share it with others. In the beginning, I was disappointed I didn’t get any likes. There are still blog posts that don’t get many. Like the last post. It only got 2 likes. Maybe some got a little more. Maybe I just don’t have anything new to say so I repeat things. You would think people would have time to read blogs right now but I guess not. It just feels like people only like the blog post picture and don’t read at all. Maybe I’m just expecting too much. This is already the 7th year and still, it feels like I’ve just begun. Whatever reason, I’m still gonna blog though because I’m doing it for me. And to practice English.
I’m not that excited about blogging like I used to be. I just feel I have nothing new to say. I’m a nomad because I don’t really know where I’m going with this blog anymore. Luckily I only blog as a hobby so I don’t have to write if I don’t feel like it. If I earned money for blogging it would feel forced to write something. Now I have a choice and if I don’t have anything to write then I don’t. Some people think blogging is for business only but you can also have it as a hobby. So not all nomads are lost. You can find your motivation at your own pace and that’s what blogging is all about. Making yourself feel good and maybe someone else will relate to you too.
First of all, I had the flu so I was tired to blog much. I still have some of it left but it’s getting better. Secondly, I’ve been busy doing something else but that’s beside the point.
The job interview I went to last week. I don’t think I got the job because I haven’t heard anything from it. But what else is new. This really has been a ponder year again. When one thing is finished, you should have another plan. I had ponder years before and I always managed to do something. I applied for employment training but no word from that either. I won’t be very disappointed if I don’t get that. I’ve changed my mind about that since I applied. It’s about coding and among other things which I don’t like that much anyway. It’s typical of me to get excited at something but then changing my mind about it. I ponder about different things for a long time before I decide anything. This time I both applied for a job and for the education I mentioned. But now the excitement is gone.
It’s the same with life choices I’ve made. I ponder and then decide but then I realise it’s not something I want to do after all. I want to focus on different things but I get no experience from anything because no one wants to give me the chance. Things you learn in school is not the same as you learn from life. I don’t ponder about why I’m not wanted because it’s not my fault people find me uninteresting. I don’t care what people think of me anyway. I can only be the person I am. I don’t find quilt in what I’ve chosen to study or how to live my life. I haven’t felt any pressure to be something I’m not. A lot of people do things just like that but someone in this world needs to be the ponder one. Problems with people today is that they don’t ponder about things a bit deeper anymore. They run around like they’re pants were on fire. Soon computers do all the thinking and humans walk around like zombies.
Sometimes you need to ponder about things deeper. Especially when it’s about important life decisions. Like something about your future or at least near-future plans. No one can make them for you. Your decisions might not please everyone but you’re not doing it for them anyway. You need to look out for number one, yourself (or your family if you have one) What’s outside that is second importance. Ponder about that.