Tag: my mother

“They never had any adventures or did anything unexpected”

Mia2 Comments
https://www.etsy.com/listing/92428434/butterfly-effect-text-graphic-frame?ref=market

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the butterfly effect. I didn’t even know what it was until now. I’m a bit like a hobbit (minus the hairy feet) I’ve never had any adventures nor anything unexpected has happened. At least not anything good. I don’t know if things happens for a reason. Maybe they do.

In which case, you were also meant to have it.
And that is an encouraging thought.
– Gandalf in Lord of the rings

Maybe there was a reason why my sister or my mother died so early. Thinking like that makes it easier to move on. My mother’s death was the hardest thing since I remember it. When my sister died, I was so young. Maybe it was better she died then and not when she became an adult. Then again if she still lived today, my mother’s death wouldn’t have hit so hard. Whatever has happened in the past, maybe it’s God’s way to say, “here’s to another beginning”

That’s one of the reasons I applied to Helsinki Design School to study photography. I wanted a new beginning. Only time will tell if it is worth it. Maybe that’s a butterfly effect. If I didn’t apply to this school, maybe I still would just stay where I am. All those years when I studied different things and wondering what I want to do. I even studied photography before but at the time it didn’t feel right. Maybe those efforts will finally pay off. No one knows what kind of people I’ll meet or places I’ll see.
I just have to be more outgoing, even if it’s not in my nature. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t had enough of courage to do things. Hearing class mates telling about themselves, made me realise how much they’ve already experienced. And most of them are younger than me.
If I didn’t go to this school, I would still think there are no jobs in photography. The teacher we had last time, told us there are. Without that encouragement I would have lost hope.

You should never compare yourself with others. Not everyone needs to go the same path. It’s never too late to experience new things. Age shouldn’t be in the way. I used to think when I get to a certain age, things would change for the worse. Even my mother were worried I was getting too old to get a job. Or at least my options were getting thinner. It might be true. Especially when there’s ageism going around in work places. But that won’t stop me from trying. It’s the work places that are missing a lot. It’s their loss, not mine. Or any job seeker for that matter. The butterfly effect would really be helpful right now.

 

Too good to be true

Mia1 Comment

The most absurd thing I’ve been through in my life (beside my mother’s death, which was more of a shock really) was the day I got accepted to study photography. Which starts in 8 days btw. I didn’t even think of applying when I saw the ad in the local newspaper. I was just interested about the course, so I checked it out on the internet. It was only after a few days of thinking, I decided to go for it.

The application was made online. They wanted to know the basics, what you’ve studied etc. That was easy. The most difficult was the Search Criteria. Basically you had to write why you should be the one to study there. I read carefully about what the criteria was on the school’s website. I even emailed them to ask what exactly they were looking for. Glad I did. I really wanted to get accepted. I didn’t know what else to do otherwise.

I don’t remember exactly what I wrote on the application. It’s was something about being motivated and dreams. You never know what other people are looking for. I was satisfied about what I wrote. I didn’t really believe it was good enough but I hoped. Then the wait started.

I read on a blog entry about someone who had applied to the school and after a week had already got an answer. So I waited but it didn’t take a week. I just decided to forget about it. Less you wait, less worried you get. I started to think I wouldn’t get accepted. Maybe a bit desperate even. Deep inside I had a good feeling though.

About 2 weeks later, something absurd happened. In my case it is absurd. Bad luck seems to follow me anywhere. I got accepted! I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy. I didn’t even think to apply and then that happened. It was too good to be true. When things are like that, somewhere in your mind, bells start to ring. Did I really or is it a dream? But it is real. Not everything is a hoax. If things are too good to be true, it probably is, doesn’t apply here.

It became real when they sent me the bill. It will become even more real when it starts next Thursday. I wish my mother was there to see it. She probably would think the school is too expensive but still she would be happy I get something to do. I really hope it will be useful to the future. Here’s to new possibilities

 

 

God, the serial killer that never gets caught (part 3)

Mia4 Comments

Writing 101 has ended ages ago. But this was very difficult to write so that’s the reason I haven’t written this earlier. Since I didn’t finish this 3 part story, I decided to mix it with this weekly writing challenge. It’s was the saddest time of my life. This is quite a long post!

Last but not least, the sorrow continues. When my sister died, I don’t remember much about it. And my grandmothers were old so it was no surprise they passed away. Everybody dies one day. Losing a parent is always different. Those are the people who are most close to you.

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