Open up to you and I don’t even feel lonely

open wood box
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

There is a new prompt challenge out there called Discover Prompts and it started yesterday. Today the word is open. But I also take part in Ragtag Daily Prompt. So I open up to you and I don’t even feel lonely. There won’t be any big secrets or anything like that. The break from work is now until May 13 so I have a lot of time on my hands. I still get paid which is good. I was only 2 weeks at the job until this coronavirus thing happened. I rather stay home then go to a job where there is nothing to do. And staying healthy is the most important thing. Here we don’t need to stay home but I stay home anyway so there is no difference. I’m open to doing anything I want. I never go anywhere anyway. The store is the only place I go to. I don’t understand why people don’t want to stay home. Is there something there they don’t want to see or what? People have no imagination so they ‘complain’ they have nothing to do. I’ve got plenty to do. There is nothing wrong being bored anyway.

This is a good time to watch old TV shows on Youtube. At the moments I’m watching ‘Matlock‘ The only problem is that there isn’t the last episode of each season. That is a shame. It’s a murder mystery show with Andy Griffith as Ben Matlock. The show is usually about 45 minutes long and sometimes there are two parts. I love a good mystery murder shows. I hope I could find ‘Murder, She, Wrote’ but I guess that’s quite difficult. I don’t think I could write a murder mystery. You need a brain for that. A brain that can work with stuff like that. It’s easier for me to write about romance without many deep details. Writer’s who can write about murder and the dark side of human behaviour really are geniuses. I really admire writers like Agatha Christie and authors like that. If I wasn’t lazy I would read books like that but I rather watch a TV show about murders. When I was 7 years old I watched some murder show in secret from my parents and I saw nightmares after that for at least 3 nights. But it hasn’t stopped me from liking movies and TV shows about it. Too much violence is always too much. I don’t like Tarantino’s movies, for example. Except ‘Jackie Brown’ There isn’t much violence like in his other movies.

The time that is now it’s good to think about other things than just what is going on in the world. People should learn to relax and this is the time to do so. I opened up what I’m doing now and I don’t feel lonely. I’m alone but never lonely. I don’t know have time to feel that. There are many other things to do. You just have to use your imagination. Now it’s time to open that book or whatever you fancy.

New door do not open

old keys
Made in Canva

You know the saying, when one door closes, another opens. Well, I’ve tried to open a lot of doors but they still remain closed. I’m speaking in metaphors of course. Mostly doors about opportunities. Or lack of them that is. Sometimes it feels like I’m being lied to so I don’t take chances because of that. I have never got anything in life easy. I didn’t even get away from household chores when I was a child. My mother always said to me to clean up but she only wanted to teach me responsibility. When other kids got pocket money without having to do anything, I actually had to work for it. She also taught me to save money for a rainy day. I just wish I could earn that money instead of living on benefits. That’s where this open door thing comes in.

I opened doors to studying and thought that would open another door. But instead, it hasn’t brought me any opportunities. No matter how strong you are mentally it still bothers you what’s wrong with you that not even Lady Luck knocks on your door. You know you can do things but no one really pays you any attention. It doesn’t help in what school you attended and how many educations you have. That door just won’t open. I’ve started to think why the reason might be and I came to the conclusion it’s work experience. I have it but they’re internships. Some don’t see that has experience. Sorry but that’s all I have been given. Just because I haven’t got paid a real salary, it doesn’t mean it isn’t work experience. Should I find a time machine so I can go back in time to find a “real job”? I don’t think so. It seems some employers are idiots. OK, fine don’t give me a chance. Your loss. It shouldn’t matter if you got paid for the job or not. I don’t know what internships should be called then if not work experience. They’re done in a real working environment and not done at home. An internship is better than nothing. Some don’t even have that.

Those internships haven’t helped much. All of those places haven’t opened any doors. So when people say internships will help to get a job is just nonsense. Employers only want to exploit cheap labour. All this propaganda that unemployment has decreased are just fillers in the media. Whoever believes in that are fools. Only the people with good connections will open the next door. All those unlucky ones have to settle for what they got. Most people have dreams and goals but they don’t have a chance to make them true because they have so many other issues to handle. Everyone can’t become entrepreneurs or be at the right place at the right time.

Sometimes I want to give up and not even try to open another door. But then motivation kicks in and I’m full of hope. It doesn’t take long but at least I see it. Failing is part of life but it’s like the heatwave, it’s only temporarily. Even successful people have had it rough but they didn’t give up. If they had, they wouldn’t be here to courage people. Intentionally or unintentionally. Everyone has doubts. A lot of athletes have had injuries and they thought they wouldn’t be as good as they were before it. They believed in themselves and they made a comeback (like Novak Djokovic who won Wimbledon yesterday) Things like that lifts up my spirit. Believing in yourself when no one else seems to is the best revenge. I will try to open every door until I find the door that opens. It must out there somewhere.