Not that fearless any longer

old typewriter
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I used to fear things but became more fearless as I got older. I guess it was because my mother died and I had to be. I didn’t like to talk to strangers, so I didn’t speak to them. It wasn’t because of fear; I felt awkward and wanted to leave. Still, there are days when I don’t feel like talking to anyone, but it isn’t about fear. It’s about being an introvert. Or maybe I don’t have the courage on that day. I think before I speak. Some days, I’m fearless and have no trouble talking to a stranger. The only thing I still fear is talking on the phone. No way I want to do that. I prefer Emails. I don’t answer unknown numbers. Unless it’s essential.

I’m also fearless when I drive a car. I’ve had my driver’s license for almost 3 years and didn’t know if I dared to drive alone. My dad was always with me, but now, when I had to drive alone for a month, I realised it wasn’t that bad. I guess I’ve learned to drive the car. That’s what experience gives you. I still don’t like driving in traffic or on the highway, though. I fear I get in the way or I crash into someone. I drive my dad’s car, which is an older car, so I had to learn how to drive that; it’s only now that I have enough confidence to drive it. The car was a new model in driving school, so driving was different. Both vehicles have a stick shift, but there were 6 gears in driving school when my dad’s car had 5. Driving is fun when you’re fearless.

I can be fearless when it comes to trying new things. Like food, but I want to know what it contains. I’ve cooked new things, and some of them have been good. I have even cooked it again. My mother and I used to try different recipes. She’s the reason why I know how to cook. When you cook yourself, you know what you get. The two ingredients I dislike the most are mushrooms and broccoli. I’m not so fond of cheese either, but in certain foods, it’s alright. I can’t stand it when they put mushrooms in many things. If there are, I take them out. I’m not that fearless that I eat anything.

Being fearless doesn’t mean parachute jumping or rock climbing. It can also be mentally fearless or being fearless in everyday situations. It can be a temporary feeling that might come back, or it may not. We’re all different and see the word differently. That’s something we have to appreciate in other people. You shouldn’t understate opinions about what the words mean to them. You can agree to disagree, but it’s pointless to argue about it. No one should be that fearless to hurt feelings.

Staying sharp

sharp pencil
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Staying sharp when you have a lot of things to think about can be a little stressful. So many things must be done, so you must have a scheduling plan. I don’t write them down, though. I keep them in my head. I don’t have that many things to do, so I don’t need to. I don’t like to hurry because then things won’t be good. I do things when I feel like it. If I have something important to do, like school assignments, I might plan to do them the next day, but then I don’t. I get them done; that’s what matters.

Despite waking up early a few times a month, I’m still quite sharp in school. But then I get tired as well. I’m not a morning person, but I can wake up early if necessary. When there is school, I wake up at 4.30 am because I have to get to the train, but I wouldn’t want to do it often. When you study something interesting, you don’t get tired. For not being a morning person, I’m pretty sharp and excited in the morning. I wish I could be that when I’m at home too.

The time when I’m not sharp is when it’s something I don’t care about. Who would do something they don’t like anyway? You can’t force yourself. It must come from you and not from someone else. Some people do what others are doing. For example, they study the same thing their best friend does even if they don’t want to learn the subject. You shouldn’t be afraid to follow your own path. You’ll be happier to do so, and it keeps you sharp too.

Bloganuary: What is a life lesson you feel everyone can benefit from learning?

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Day 15. Life lesson? Don’t ask me. I’m not the one who can give advice. But I can give you my opinion. Don’t compare yourself to others. Dare to be different. Your life doesn’t need to follow the same pattern as other people. So what if you’re friends already have a steady job and a family before they’re 30. It doesn’t mean anything. Be happy for other people but also focus on your own life. Enjoy your freedom. You can do what you feel, and no one can tell you how to be. If you don’t know what you want when you’re a teenager, then try different things. You will find your path sooner or later. People can judge you if you’re not the way they want you to be. It’s your life, and you can do what you want with it. You’re not on this planet to please other people. I believe things happen for a reason, and if nothing happens, then it isn’t meant to be. Accept the way things are. Some things you can’t do anything about. Do things that make you feel good. If other people don’t appreciate you the way you are, they’re not worth having around. Don’t let other people control you, and change for no one. Who knows you better than you. Respect other people’s opinions, and don’t start an argument because you don’t agree. Save money for a rainy day if you can. Don’t spend money on things you don’t need. Never judge a person by their appearance because it’s the inside that counts.

Maybe they are life lessons to live by. At least I do, but it doesn’t mean others need to follow them. Sometimes I forget my own life lessons, so I have to remind myself. They are more guidelines than lessons anyway.