43 questions about me

white note book and three pencils
Made in Canva

Next Tuesday (June 2) I turn 43. But age is nothing but a number. For some people birthdays can be embarrassing or they rather not make a big number of their age. Then there are these age crisis things. I didn’t have a 30 years crisis and not 40 years either. I had it at 25. I didn’t do anything special. I only felt I was useless and felt I hadn’t done anything I wanted to. Now I don’t care. You’re only as old as you feel. Other people’s opinions about your age don’t matter. I wouldn’t want to be in any other age because now I have the knowledge I didn’t have when I was younger. Instead of being outdoors in the warm and sunny weather, I made this list.

To ‘celebrate’ my birthday, here are various questions I found online. Trying to find 43 questions wasn’t easy. Most of the questions are from this site. It’s quite a long read so don’t rush it.

Some boring questions first

What is your full name?
Mia Eva-Stina Salminen

What is your height?
5’7″ last time I checked

What is your favourite colour?
Blue and purple

Sexual orientation?
Straight but why label it? You are what you are. I respect all sexualities because, in the end, we’re all human.

What colour are your eyes and hair?
Dark blue eyes. The hair colour depends if it’s clean or not. It also gets darker with age. When I was a child it was blonde. Maybe it’s more light brown these days.

This is where it gets more interesting

What TV shows are you into?
I’m mostly into old TV shows and especially comedies. A lot of TV shows have ended and I haven’t found anything new to watch. I’m a fan of Game of Thrones and Prison break. I also like game shows like ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’ I hate most of the reality shows. Or cheating shows as I call them.

Where would you rather be from?
If I wasn’t from Finland it would either be Sweden or the UK. But I love Finland the best so I wouldn’t want to change it.

What movies do you like?
As in TV shows, I love comedies. Jim Carrey is one of my favourites. I also love Lord of the rings trilogy and no matter what others might think, The Hobbit trilogy. There are a lot of movies I’ve seen several times so I don’t have an absolute favourite.

What job would you be terrible at?
Anything that has to do with Math. I’m not very good with numbers. I also would be a terrible teacher. You need patience in that and I would just get upset at the student.

What skill would you like to master?
I wish I could be better at making websites but I hate coding. There are of course ready themes but apparently, you shouldn’t use them. I also wish I was better at graphic design.

What takes up too much of your time?
Being online. Also sleeping too long. I never have time to do anything because I sleep late.

What mystery do you wish you knew the answer to?
Why certain people have to urge to act stupid. Especially young people. I also wonder why some people believe in stereotypes. I also can’t believe there is still racism around.

What do you consider to be your best find?
The best find is that I finally know what I want to do for a living. It’s just that I don’t know if I ever be good enough.

What fictional character do you really wish would exist?
If I said Loki, would you hold him against me? In a way, he already does. Not with that name but there already are divas who wanted attention because they didn’t get it at home the way they wished.

What popular TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?
I refuse to watch reality shows like Love Island or Big Brother. I don’t care about other people problems. A movie I refuse to watch is ‘American Psycho’ with Christian Bale. Even though he’s one of my favourite actors. That movie is so creepy so no thank you.

What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?
I don’t if it’s impressive but I can make up tunes with the recorder by just listening.

What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?
Lord of the rings without all that war. I would live in Rivendell. It one beautiful places in that universe.

If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?
What I do now. Blogging, writing fiction, cycling, watch movies, eat candy/sweets etc.

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
Live in solitude somewhere where there are no other people around and only the birds singing.

What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it?
Entrepreneurship but the work to find paying clients is the reason why I don’t start. The other thing is not being confident enough about my skills.

If you were dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do?
Not crazy but healthy. All smokers are not allowed and no drunk people either. Or too noisy people.

What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don’t get the point of?
Fashion in general and people using toe sandals. Especially men, such a turn-off. The same with Crocs. Yuck.

What irrational fear do you have?
Hating needles. That’s one reason why I don’t donate blood. Some might not think it’s nothing to be afraid of but just the thought of a needle is distressing.

Have you ever given to any charities?
No, I don’t have that kind of money. I’ve been to two charity football matches though so in a way I have.

What’s the last adventure you went on?
When I studied graphic design in Helsinki last year. I travelled there alone twice a month. That is an adventure in my eyes. Also walking or cycling outside is an adventure in itself.

What is something you will NEVER do again?
Eat sushi. I tasted it once but I didn’t like it. I don’t know how somebody can. But we all have different tastes.

What do you hope your last words will be?
“I wish I could have seen him” OK, that’s a quote from Lord of the rings. Maybe my last words would be “I have a million euros in a deposit box and the code is….” Then I die. There isn’t any money though 😆

What’s the best thing you got from your parents?
To be myself and have respect for others.

What’s the best and worst thing about getting older?
The best thing is that you’re wiser and the worst people think you’re getting too old.

What is something you are certain you’ll never experience?
A personal thing. I’ll never get to experience passionate love. Someone who likes you the way you are and don’t expect for you to be like everyone else. Someone who can’t stay away from you. I know I’ll never have that and especially with certain men. That’s all I’m saying about that.

What is something that your friends wouldn’t believe was true about you?
I have a dirty mind. Even if I don’t have personal experiences about a certain thing, I can still imagine it.

If you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what rule would you make?
Be nice to others and don’t judge before you get to know a person.

If you could have a video of anyone in your life, what event would you choose?
My mother, my sister and both of my grandmothers when they were all alive. Especially Christmas.

If you had a clock that would countdown to any one event of your choosing, what event would you want it to countdown to?
I already have. A countdown to Elton John’s concert in September. But we’ll see if it will happen.

Have you had any pets and what’s your favourite pets?
Never had any pets because my sister was allergic. I’ve always liked bunnies. It was the only animal I wasn’t afraid of.

What are you addicted to?
Certain male voices. And music.

Have you met any celebrities?
Finnish one’s only. I never meet any foreign celebrities. Ski jumper Janne Ahonen. I got his autograph. And TV presenter Roope Salminen. He’s a big star in Finland and so down-to-earth.

Have you ever been to the hospital?
Visited and been a patient. My big sister was ill a lot so I never liked hospitals. Luckily I’ve only been twice as a patient.

Last but not least

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have?
Mind control or moving around unseen. Maybe both.

What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top in?
Ski jumping tower in Lahti, Finland.

©Mia Salminen 2009

Who is your hero?
It varies. It’s more about actions than a person. There are people I admire, like actors but also normal people. My parents can be heroes. The went through a lot and still managed. They were married for at least 40 years before my mother died.

What song always gets you out on the dance floor?
I don’t like dancing. Not the song by that band I can’t remember the name of right now. I just don’t like dancing. I rather watch others dance.

What’s your guilty pleasure?
Like Tom Hiddleston once said. Something like. My guilty pleasure is not having a guilty pleasure. I would say I do have pleasures but I don’t feel guilty about them. I don’t pretend to like something I don’t like.

If you got this far then bravo. You deserve a big hug. Thank you for reading.

My ponder years

person with a question mark
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First of all, I had the flu so I was tired to blog much. I still have some of it left but it’s getting better. Secondly, I’ve been busy doing something else but that’s beside the point.

The job interview I went to last week. I don’t think I got the job because I haven’t heard anything from it. But what else is new. This really has been a ponder year again. When one thing is finished, you should have another plan. I had ponder years before and I always managed to do something. I applied for employment training but no word from that either. I won’t be very disappointed if I don’t get that. I’ve changed my mind about that since I applied. It’s about coding and among other things which I don’t like that much anyway. It’s typical of me to get excited at something but then changing my mind about it. I ponder about different things for a long time before I decide anything. This time I both applied for a job and for the education I mentioned. But now the excitement is gone.

It’s the same with life choices I’ve made. I ponder and then decide but then I realise it’s not something I want to do after all. I want to focus on different things but I get no experience from anything because no one wants to give me the chance. Things you learn in school is not the same as you learn from life. I don’t ponder about why I’m not wanted because it’s not my fault people find me uninteresting. I don’t care what people think of me anyway. I can only be the person I am. I don’t find quilt in what I’ve chosen to study or how to live my life. I haven’t felt any pressure to be something I’m not. A lot of people do things just like that but someone in this world needs to be the ponder one. Problems with people today is that they don’t ponder about things a bit deeper anymore. They run around like they’re pants were on fire. Soon computers do all the thinking and humans walk around like zombies.

Sometimes you need to ponder about things deeper. Especially when it’s about important life decisions. Like something about your future or at least near-future plans. No one can make them for you. Your decisions might not please everyone but you’re not doing it for them anyway. You need to look out for number one, yourself (or your family if you have one) What’s outside that is second importance. Ponder about that.

Sometimes I feel so…. Worthless

ifeelsoMaybe I should make this a habit. Every, let’s say every Friday, I have a theme beginning with ‘Sometimes I feel so….” and then I write about that subject. But then again when I think about it, maybe I run out of ideas. That happens a lot. I’m just not good with keeping up a schedule. I just feel worthless. Which where I now come to.

The worthless part shows its ugly head when I’m suppose to do something important. Even making a phone call makes me feel I’m not up to it. No matter how I try to prepare, it always backfires. Things work in my head but when I should them, I just give up.
Last time I felt worthless were some days ago. I was supposed to go to a few companies and ask for a work practise place. It’s like to get to know a profession and see how they work. Too difficult to explain in English. Anyway, it’s part of the career coaching thing. So I went there and I just couldn’t do it. I lost my nerve like I always do. I don’t know why I make it so difficult. I just can’t walk inside a company just like that. If that’s awful, calling a stranger is no walk in the park either. It’s also an introvert thing. If there’s a technology I could live without, that’s a phone. I could just use email to contact people.

I feel so worthless when I try to write a CV or a job application. I don’t know how to write about things I’m good at. Before you could just write what you’ve studied and so on but now you have to explain why you’re good at something. It difficult to make up the words and especially when it feels like you’re not good at anything. You can’t judge your own skills. I admire those who can. Reading those job ads and trying to understand what the companies really want. ‘What can you offer us?’ it’s one the most difficult questions. ‘Why should we hire you?’ is another. It would be easiest just to say ‘I don’t know’ to both but that’s not helpful if you want a job.

Back to the work practise. I found a couple of interesting companies online. One is about photography and the other is about video advertisement. I emailed them first because that’s the way I can handle things better. It worked before so why not now. I got a reply from the video one almost immediately and the email said I would contact this person. So today I thought of calling. I kept thinking what to say. My problem is I think too much. I’m too worried I’ll be misunderstood or something goes wrong. When I finally picked up the courage, there were no reply. It was quite late so I didn’t try again. On Monday it’s gonna start all over again. I just feel so worthless I can’t make calls to strangers. The reason is not just about introversion, it’s about lack of practise. It seems so easy for some to call to places but I’m such a coward. I really I hope I will get to make that call or I’ll miss my chance. Trying to get another place feels almost impossible.

Luckily feeling worthless is just temporary. Some suffer from it a longer time. Once you get over that feeling, you feel you really are worth it after all.