My motivation is not fiction

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What motivates you?

Daily Writing Prombt

It’s easier to say what doesn’t motivate me because it depends on my mood. Feelings are usually controlling my life. Sometimes, I don’t feel like doing anything, but other times, my motivation is high. I like those days because then I know I’ve done something. When things don’t go the way I wish, I get frustrated. I don’t like doing things that are done in vain. I’ve studied things where the money went down the drain, even if I did learn something from those times. I didn’t get a job, which is the biggest lie ever. “Get a degree and the doors to heaven open” – kind of thing. It doesn’t work for everyone. Education is not the only factor that gets you a job. You also need luck and good connection skills. I only have the feeling people have something against me. That’s only fiction in my head. Maybe my motivation is not getting into a position some people are. People in the world have more significant issues than I do. The way things are going in the world, it would be no surprise if worse things could happen to me, too. Be happy with what you have because tomorrow, they might be gone.

I should know. All my family members are gone, and only me left. No one can take their place. When I go outside, I see why I want to go back inside. No one will give me the same security as my family did. What I miss the most about them is having someone to talk to. It’s not the same with other people. The only relative I have some contact with is my cousin, but she has her family and business to take care of. The last time I met her was at my dad’s memorial service. But if I wanted her help or something, then she would. I’m motivated without relatives. Most of them didn’t keep in touch after my sister died in 1983. I have managed without them, so I don’t need them either. I’m not part of the Modern Family TV series, after all. My dad was in contact with his half-sister, but he didn’t get in touch with her when he was in hospital. I couldn’t get any contact with her either after Dad died. She was over 90 years old, so maybe she didn’t live at home anymore, or perhaps she died. Her kids didn’t inform us about anything anyway. Nice relatives there. Who needs a relative bothering you all the time. It’s better to be estranged from relatives you were never close to anyway than trying to connect with people who don’t care anyway.

I can stay motivated as long as I can do it in peace. If too many distractions distract me, I don’t get things done and don’t like to rush things. Getting support from others keeps me motivated. My parents, especially my mother, were good at that. She told me I should do the best I could and that I could do anything that I put my mind to. My parents didn’t pressure me into any occupation, and I could make my own decisions. That’s what every parent should do, let their kids become anything they want. You don’t need to be the best. We all have our strengths, and we should focus on them. It’s a shame the world has become the way it is today. Defining success with how much you make or how many followers you have on social media. If you haven’t, you have failed and aren’t worth anything. There is so much greed and selfishness that it’s not funny anymore. If you don’t fight it, you’re part of the problem. It motivated me to be different from others. I hope I never become the person some people are. I could never be cruel intentionally because I have a conscience and sympathy for others. It comes from past experiences and a good upbringing. I wish I could do more than blog about the wrongs in the world, but that’s the closest I can get. It might not reach the world, but at least my motivation is not fiction. These are my genuine thoughts about this. I blog to share my thoughts with others, and when someone likes a post and maybe leaves a comment, I feel motivated to go on. Even if I don’t get any, I can still keep the mood on good terms. Worse things could happen like AI writing my posts instead of me. Then Terminator movies might come true. As long as I’m not a robot, things will be fine.

Things that bother me

thoughts with big letters
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What bothers you and why?

Daily Writing Prompt

First, an older post that the subject still bothers me.

Originally posted on March 11, 2019

Other things that bother me are that people don’t seem to care much about my latest post about the Bryan Adams concert and the summer of 24. I had to like my own, but I did that only to make myself feel better. OK, I can’t expect people to like every post I make. But sometimes I feel it’s all a waste of time. Spending time writing in a language that isn’t my own. I don’t know if this post will get much attention. It’s alright; at least I can get my thoughts down. People reading or not. July is probably a slow month anyway, so people are outside of everything.

What bothers me the most is employers’ not replying to applications. I sent one over a week ago through email, and still nothing. I guess there is no chance this time either. Using the time and energy of a job search wastes time. They can keep their jobs. I didn’t want to work there anyway. I’m too tired to wake up early. Being unemployed is much better than trying to fit in. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I don’t want to do a job that I don’t want to do. I only get offered jobs that aren’t for me. Thinking about job search spoils the mood.

Kudos to those who bother reading this blog post. If you don’t, it’s OK. It won’t bother me. There is more to life than writing and reading blogs. It’s only one part of it. When things bother me, they go away after a while. I think about the good stuff and try to think positively. Things can’t stay bad forever. At least I can have faith in that thought.

A trophy for my efforts

a trophy and stars
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The reasons why I should get a trophy for my efforts.

On June 2, I turned one year older than last year. That means I’m one step closer to death, but hopefully, I won’t die in many years. I went on a cruise to Stockholm alone for the first time ever. Before, I went with my parents and on class trips. Of course, I travelled alone inside the country. This was the first time I was alone abroad. It was only a cruise, but that’s a start. I stayed on the ship for 23 hours. It was kind of lonely since Finns don’t talk to strangers. But I didn’t need to go through the hassle that I went with my dad. He always wanted to sit and drink beer. But at least then, I had company. A good thing about travelling alone is you can go as you please. If I was tired, I would go to bed. I did that without telling another person if I wanted to sit on deck and read a book. On the cruise, there were a lot of families, so there weren’t young party people. It’s calmer to be on board when there aren’t drunk people there. In general, there weren’t many people on the cruise, which was nice. You didn’t need to queue anywhere. It’s been a heatwave in Finland, so sitting on deck with the wind blowing was nice. The best part of a 23-hour cruise is the buffer and tax-free shopping. I only buy sweets/candy because I don’t like alcohol, and I don’t smoke. Unlike some people in Finland.

For some people, unemployment brings them down or being single. It brings me freedom and confidence that things will get better. The only time I get depressed is when I’m forced to do things I don’t want to do. I’m selective, and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t go for the 2nd best as Madonna sings in Express Yourself. It’s better to be alone than socialise with the wrong people. I have had enough of those when I was younger. Life is too short to have toxic people in your life.

I should get a trophy for tolerating people in the first place. I don’t need to get it from others because I can get it alone. Treat yourself with a trophy of your choice once in a while. I will award myself with sweets/candy that I bought from the cruise ship. I have always had a sweet tooth, no matter how I feel.