The past changes the future

Photo: ©Isaque Pereira/Pexels

Sometimes it’s better to be straight than being dishonest. It might hurt, but it’s better than be walked over. I wish I would have been braver when I was younger. There were certain people I wished I could have told where to get off. Like that guy in one school where I went to who asked me if I had been in a horror movie. I could have asked him the same. He wasn’t that special either. He was an idiot, and he wasn’t the only one. But that’s the past, and I have met better people than him after that.

It’s kind of funny now when my former schoolmates in primary school didn’t give a damn about me. In the gym, I was always picked up last even if I was good at it. Unlike that “bully” who was bad at it. She was probably jealous. Hard cheese. She probably never even had spots. I have never met them after I changed class in 7th grade. I was glad I got rid of them. I don’t care how they are doing in life. It’s no concern of mine. The class I was at from 1st grade to 4th was much better. If I wasn’t forced to stay at 4th grade for another year, then I probably wouldn’t have needed to go through this ‘bullying’ stage. In the 1st class, you had more than one friend. If one friend was ill, you always had another friend to be with. The atmosphere was very good there. Next time I had that feeling was when I studied media playwriting in 2002-2003.

In a way, past experiences have put me off friendships and even relationships. I don’t like that kind of drama people cause. I have met a lot of different people, but I don’t call them friends. They are more like acquaintances. Or people only walking by and then move on. I don’t believe being alone is bad for you. For me, it suits me very well. I don’t need a lot of people around, and I’ve never had. I can’t understand how someone can have more than 5 friends. It would be too exhausting for my taste. I’m not that depended on other people. When I was a kid, a girl had only one friend, but boys had more than one. Heaven forbid if you wanted to tag along with those other two girls, they looked at you like you were an alien. You knew by their look that you weren’t wanted. At least that’s what I have experienced.

The past shapes your future. For the better or for, the worse. If I hadn’t experienced what I have during my life, things would probably be different. You can’t change the past, but you can make your future better. If you can’t let your past go, you can’t move on because that’s what life should be, moving on. It’s really about your attitude towards the things you have experienced. You can either dwell on how you should have handled the situation or become stronger and stop caring what other’s might think of you. It’s your life and you can do anything you feel without having to ask for permission about how to be. The best revenge is not caring and moving on by doing what’s good for you.

Explain to me

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Explain to me
Explain to me why blogging can be so hard
Explain to me why Pinterest shows uninterested things on my feed
Explain to me why certain people are violent
Explain to me why people like the heat
Explain to me why I don't get more comments on my fics
Explain to me why the sun is so hot in the summer
Explain to me why people are so selfish
Explain to me why some young people litter in nature
Explain to me why women's appearances are so important
Explain to me why I don't know how to end a poem
Explain to me why I find it difficult to concentrate on one thing only
Explain to me why the forecast says rain but there's sun instead
Explain to me why I never meet people who are on the same wavelength as me
What you don't need to explain is the person I am because I already know

Explain

Sick and tired

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Sick and tired

Sick and tired of selfish people
Sick and tired of people who don’t care
Sick and tired of noisy neighbours
Sick and tired of racism
Sick and tired of narcissism
Sick and tired of sexism
Sick and tired of celebs who think they all that
Sick and tired of negative comments online
Sick and tired of people who litter
Sick and tired of smoking fools
Sick and tired of people who only think black and white
Sick and tired of repeating myself when I talk
Sick and tired of ignorant people who think they know it all
But most of all I’m sick and tired of not be able to do anything about it alone