Tag: photography

I’m creative because I can

Mia1 Comment

Some are good in Math. Some are good at singing. Some can write music. Some can drive a Formula 1 car. Some are good at sports. But I’m good at creative things. Being creative doesn’t only mean drawing or painting very well. I can’t do any of those. You can be creative in a lot of things.

On Discover the subject is, why do you create? I could concentrate on why I write or why I photograph but since I can do more than just that, I’ll mix them up. Writing and photography do go hand in hand when it comes to blogging. Those are not the reasons why I do it. I’m only not  writing a blog but I also write fan fiction. Will come to that later. Writing is my way of expressive myself and also write down things I think about. It’s easier to write than talk. If you talk to a person there might be things you forget to say but when you write, you have time to think. That’s one the reasons why I write. Other reason is that it’s fun. You get creative when you think about different things. It starts with a thought and when you write it down it comes reality. Writing has taught me about story telling. There’s a start, a middle and an ending. I’ve also studied journalism and screen play writing which has also helped me. I’ve written since I was 7 years old. I used to have diaries where I wrote about my thoughts and what I’ve been through. Even about crushes I had. It’s kind of funny to read them now.

I’ve been writing fan fiction for years in English. Sometimes I also read them. It’s a great way to learn the language. I mostly write RPF (real person fiction) but I’ve tried a couple of other genres to. I write them because it’s fun and you learn how to write fiction. I only do it as a hobby. I don’t want to become an author. I’ve got so many ideas in my head so have to write them down. Like in blogging, it’s a way to express myself and get thoughts written down. Some read books, some write them. I read fan fiction and I write them. If I wouldn’t write down my imagination, I would go mad.
I mostly read RPF because that’s what I write. I’m not a fan of slash fiction because it’s just weird to read them.
Sometimes I post my fics online if I think they’re good enough. Sometimes I just write for myself. Don’t ask me where I get my inspiration from because that’s a bit private. I can tell you it’s about the person I’m writing about. Enough said. If someone doesn’t know who the person I’m writing about is, begins to get interest in them after reading my fics, then I’ve done something right. It has happened to me recently. I’ve read some fan fiction about an actor I have never paid that much attention to before. But now I see them in a totally different light after reading those. And the fics are made up and has nothing to do with the real person. Which can be a bit strange since it’s not really them.

Photography used to be something I did when I was on vacation or on events. It was never my hobby. I only started it as a hobby in later years. The first photo I took was when I was 6 years old. We were on holiday in Europe after my sister passed away. The 2 photos I took were taken in Switzerland or maybe it was Austria. It was a film camera so one of them was a bit blurry.
In 1990 I got my first own film camera. One of the first photos I took was only test photos but later I took it with me on holidays. Then it broke so the only camera I had was a video camera (which I also know how to use). The quality wasn’t the best. I became more interested in photography in 2001. I even went to school to study it but I quit because it wasn’t as I expected it to be. One of the teacher’s was old-school and refused to have anything to do with digital photography. Film was the one and only for him. That was one of the reason why I didn’t think photography was my thing after all. I wanted to become pro but this school just spoiled it all.
I only took up photography as a hobby in 2007 and 2008 I bought a DSLR because that’s what was recommended to me. People have also liked my photography but if the photo are professional enough, it’s a different matter. I don’t only want to take photos to my blog but also more professional one’s. I don’t know if I want to become a pro anymore because then you should photograph all the time. But something with photography would be nice.
When I haven’t photographed in ages, I can feel it in my bones. If I don’t have a camera then I use my tablet even if the quality in that isn’t the best. I would never had thought photography would be so important to me. Digital photography really has opened a lot of opportunities. Without that I would probably not be as eager as I am now. It gives you freedom to move around and make other people happy with your photos. So even if I don’t get paid to do it, photography will always be my main priority.

I always wanted to have a creative job so I’ve had problems finding my niche. Maybe I’m too picky but other kind of jobs bore me. I couldn’t do non-creative things for very long. I’ve studied graphic design but I can’t draw and I’m not very good at planning things either. I’m a creative person but not as creative as I liked. If I was, I would probably have a job by now. Creativity is not about getting your bills paid, it’s about the feeling you get when you create something. So I create because I can.

Mission Job Search

MiaLeave a comment

knowwhatToday the career coaching course was over. In a way I did learn a lot of about job search but there’s also things I already knew from a preview job search course I’ve attended before. The most depressive thing was to look for a job practise when the places I went to ask was a ‘No’ everywhere. So I didn’t get any. I felt really down. All kind of negative things came to mind. One of them was I’m useless and a coward that won’t get anything done. The worst thing was to get in touch with companies. Calling a stranger is hell. Also going to new places terrified me. It took a few days to pick up the nerve. I hated the whole process. The career coach got me a place in a creative cooperative branch and I had to contact them myself. To make a long story short. I got an appointment there and went. It was only for a couple of hours but I got some new info about how a cooperative works and what they do. I was mainly interested in photography but they were busy elsewhere. I still got to know about clothes designing which was also interesting. The girls (most of them are) there were really nice. I felt really relaxed and I wasn’t nervous about asking questions. A cooperative could be an option if I don’t find work elsewhere.

So what am I going to do next? I don’t really know what I’m doing even if it says so in the photo of my T-shirt. During this course I was looking for a job and studying wasn’t on my agenda. I’ve studied so much before and it was getting boring. There’s also a lot of other dilemmas about starting with study things again. Like financial and travelling arrangements. I’ve looked through different educations just to see what’s out there. I came across a web- designer vocational examination. The school is in a small town in Western Finland which means I have to live in a dorm. I hated that when I studied. The education takes 9 months. It’s not even sure I get into the school so it’s too early to worry about that. There’s a same kind of schooling in my city but it’s longer and it doesn’t have photography like this one. It also starts next year when this begins in August 2016. It’s kind of easy to apply. There are no assignments. You only need to fill a form online and then they interview the applicants. Easy-peasy. I thought I would expand my skills. Since I’ve already studied some of the subjects they teach there, it won’t be too difficult.

My other mission is to get an internship. It could be one of the companies I went to when looking for a job practise. I won’t mention any names. I can tell you it’s a digital marketing agency. You can send them an open application via email. Maybe they only take students though. But it’s worth a try. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. I know what kind of things you should write in applications like that but how to put them in words to convince them, that’s another story. I don’t exactly have experience in marketing even though it has been part of my studies. Of course there other companies where they also have some kind of photography. Advertisement agencies, graphic design etc.
Getting an internship in a photography studio seems impossible. There’s not many in my city. If you ask one and they say ‘no can do’ then they all say that. I’m not really into that studio stuff anyway. Portrait photography? Wedding? Pets? It seems that’s the photography most people do and honestly, that’s boring. But in a studio you learn the technical stuff so not everything is bad.

I’ve learned photography won’t be my main profession and maybe not at all. I’m not very ambitions and the competition out there is so stressful. I don’t think I’m even that good to become a pro. Besides I can so many different things and it feels like I’ll miss those things if I only concentrate one thing. I still want to do photography but other things too. If this really were a perfect world, I would travel around the continent and become friends with every person I like. But this is real life and to become a complete human being, you need to have goals in life. Mine comes in small doses. Dream big, they say. But I just dream.

Drop the subject

MiaLeave a comment
Nori watching the rain
Nori watching the rain

Ever felt you wish you could just drop a subject? If it’s conversation with someone. Maybe an argument you’re having with a loved one or a friend. Whatever it is, you wish just to move on and drop the whole thing.

This is what I feel about finding a work practise place. I’m fed up with it all. Everywhere it’s a no. It’s unhuman to be rejected over and over again. I haven’t even done anything wrong. I do understand it’s difficult times for companies to take employers. Even if it’s for free. But as an introvert it’s draining to go and ask to different places. Having to repeat things over and over. Everything goes well in my head.

Today for an example. I went to a photography studio to ask but they couldn’t offer me anything. I knew it would be impossible but still I was disappointed. When I do I’ll get sad and I don’t feel like doing anything. I feel all that studying I’ve done, they’ve all gone to waste. Fall into despair even. It feels so depressing and I feel like I’m gonna stay unemployed the rest of my life. Nothing just doesn’t seem to go my way. People say I shouldn’t give up but still it feels hopeless. I’m just not ambitions enough. If it’s no can do everywhere, I’m not motivated to continue because what’s the point wasting time and energy on searching. All that walking around is exhausting as well. I rather do something more useful. Like writing my CV or something like that.

When I don’t get any work experience in photography even that feels a waste of time. Maybe I should just keep it as a hobby since it feels impossible to become more than that. I don’t know what I else I could do. Everything else feels so boring. I’m a restless soul. I need change and freedom of some sort. Even if photography sometimes makes me frustrated, it does give me satisfaction. I just don’t know if I really want to do that for a living. To become good you need to practise but I’m not that dedicated. I’m not getting any younger but who says only young people are allowed to become pro. I might not be good enough among those really good one’s but I do deserve to get at least one chance.

It would be easy to just drop the whole subject and start to think about something else. But I’ve thought about what I want to do since I was a teen and I’m tired of it. If I dropped photography altogether (not as a hobby though) just because there’s not enough work, it would be the easy way out. It seems creative work in general is hard to find. You need to be really good to stand out. You also need to be quite competitive and that’s something I lack. Maybe it would be better if I just drop out of that game.