The shape of two career plans

plan, action notebook
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What is your career plan?

Daily Writing Prompt

I’ve been to a career coach in the past, but my plans haven’t taken shape. First, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and second, I hadn’t had the chance to get enough work experience. Some people travel to places to find themselves, but I haven’t needed to go anywhere to do that. It hasn’t been about finding myself. It’s more about what I wanted to do in life. I haven’t had a career plan to follow. It’s been about choosing an occupation. It took years, but now I know what I want to do. Graphic designer and photographer.

The shape of two career plans is better than one. The first was to get a job to gain more experience and become an entrepreneur after that. But guess what? Did these plans become true? No, they did not. I haven’t gained more experience, and I don’t know if having a business is something for me. Sure, I went to an entrepreneurial course last month. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready for it. Not with the experience I have at the moment. Sometimes, I think I’m in the wrong occupation after all. But I don’t know what else I want to do. Do I remember how to do things anymore since it was a long time ago since I did anything? I applied for a graphic design job but won’t get an interview because I lack experience. They probably don’t even look at my resume because it’s awful. Maybe it’s the same when it comes to finding clients. No one wants the services I provide. I have enough school experience, but that doesn’t mean much.

I don’t know where my life is going, but I know I want to earn my own money. Being unemployed involves too much bureaucracy; honestly, I’m getting tired of it. If no one wants to hire me, maybe having my own business is better. Then, I no longer need to be in the job search race. When I plan something, it usually doesn’t come true anyway, so I will see how it goes. I’ve been thinking the goal is to begin after summer. In Finland, summer vacation is in July, so everyone isn’t working. Maybe Autumn will be a better time to start something new. Or it might not come true, and my life won’t improve.

Climbing the misty mountain

misty mountain
Made in Canva

I don’t mean the misty mountain in ‘The Hobbit’. It’s the misty mountain of life. I feel like I’m walking in a mist, and I don’t know where I’m going. I thought it was getting clearer, but it’s just getting mistier. I don’t get anything done. By the time I wake up, the whole day is gone. When people end their day, I’m only waking up. The entire day is wasted. That mountain of life is getting harder to climb. What I thought interested me wasn’t what I wanted after all. Maybe I do, but someone or something is holding me down. At least I don’t sit at home all day and only go out to the store. Some people are that lazy. I want to do something and not stay in the same place. That’s what I dreaded the most when I was a teenager, to get stuck in one place. I wanted to move abroad after I left school. I was restless and wanted to getaway. But that feeling went away when I got older. I was in a mist most of my youth, and now it feels like I’m in a similar situation.

Looking back at what educations I have, they are pretty useless. It’s a scam, the way people say how important education is. It doesn’t mean you get a job. At least I’ve done something. Other people might not appreciate my efforts, but I feel proud of them. I learned something, and maybe I’ve forgotten them already. But I’ve learned. I haven’t had the opportunity to use my education anywhere. It’s a bit depressive looking at job ads because nothing suits me. They say there are a lot of jobs, but that doesn’t help when there is nothing for me. I had high hopes about what to do next. But the years go by so fast, so it feels like I can’t keep up. It was three years ago when I took an entrepreneur course. Two years since the graphic design course. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Other people are much better than me and more experienced. It’s useless to compete with them. If I apply for a job in graphic design, guess who gets the job. Not me, that’s for sure. The employers just look at my resume and already decide I’m not the one.

Life is a misty mountain to climb. Some people might have the strength to get through it, but I don’t have the patience. Like Rene says in ‘Allo ‘Allo “, This is no life for a coward. Especially one with a good business.” Except I don’t have a business. At the moment, I just want to live one day at a time. The mist might go away one day. I only hope it won’t stay there forever.

Taking the train to somewhere

inside a train
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There are many ways to travel to places. Besides going by bus and by car, I’ve mostly travelled by train. The problem is that it isn’t cheap. It’s a faster way, but if the bus is cheaper, I rather take that. No matter what way I travel, I can never sleep very well. Unless I’m exhausted. It’s the sleeping sitting up, even if you can turn the seat a little. The first time I travelled alone by train was when I was 17 when I went to study in another city. Or it was in a small town. It wasn’t fun to travel there the first time. I had no numbered seat, so I had to move to another one. The train was full, and I had things with me. I had to walk around on the train, trying to find an empty seat. I had to stand for the rest of the trip. Carrying all those things and then trying not to fall. Those trains weren’t as steady as they’re now. Luckily I always found a seat when I went home over the weekend. It was the 1990s, so you had to buy a ticket from the train station. Since I was a student, I had a series ticket, and if you wanted a numbered seat, you had to reserve it by phone. I didn’t want to do it since I didn’t like talking on the phone, so I rather sit where it was free. Today there are mobiles and apps to do all those things, so it’s much easier. I don’t use apps when it comes to buying tickets. I don’t really trust them. If I go somewhere, I buy the ticket via the computer and print it out on paper.

The best about taking the train is watching the view pass by. I’ve travelled by train early in the morning and seen the sunrise. Seeing it feels different on the train. I’ve seen a misty morning. The fields look like they’re cooling down, and smoke rises up from the ground. It’s a beautiful sight that is difficult to describe if you haven’t seen it yourself. You can’t really get the same feeling when you’re going by bus. My least favourite thing about trains is when they are crowded. Once when I studied in another town, I had to change trains. They were usually quite empty in the morning, so I thought it was strange that many people were in it. A moment later, I realised I was on the wrong train. I had to get out of it on the next station. Luckily the right train came behind the wrong one. If I hadn’t noticed I was on the wrong train, I would have got late for school and been in the wrong place. That was quite an adventure that time of the morning. I didn’t make the same mistake again.

I haven’t used the train for a while. If I had gone somewhere, I’ve taken the bus, because it’s cheaper. Next time I might take the train is when I’m going to see Elton John concert next month. The problem is, will it be moved to next year again? If you buy a train ticket, you can’t get your money back. Or it will be difficult to. If the concert will be on, they should inform about it as soon as possible, because the earlier I get to buy the train ticket, the cheaper it is. When it comes to public transport, the schedules are the concern. That day, the last train leaves after 8 pm, and the concert will be much longer than that. There won’t be any buses going either. Maybe I should stay at a hotel, but that isn’t cheap either. I won’t be driving there, because of different reasons. Whatever I chose, I rather go by train than a bus. Sitting on a bus for two hours isn’t good for my legs. I need to have them straight from time to time, or I will feel uncomfortable. So choo, choo train it is.