Tag: postaday

Put up our sleeves and get started

MiaLeave a comment

sleeping cat

The subject might sound uptempo but this post is not exactly that. That was just an idea I got when I saw the word sleeve in The Daily Prompt. Actually, I thought about men who have their sleeves rolled up to their elbows that I find sexy 😀 But seriously. I never seem to get anything done or it takes slowly. Especially the beginning. I’m a thinker and a dreamer. When I start to do them I either give up because they don’t go the way I want or I don’t start at all. I only think what I could do but then I’m too lazy or too scared. It’s not like I’ve never done anything in my life. I have studied. They could have been in vain since I don’t have a job. At least I got up to do something and not only sitting on my fanny. Unfortunately, I don’t get appreciated for my efforts in real life. I’m not exactly a dream candidate for the employers. They want someone who talks a lot and entertains them. I don’t fit anywhere. They can keep their companies for all I care. It won’t make me feel down if I’m not wanted. It’s really their loss.

If things would only be much easier for me but I’m both introverted and suffer from mild ADD (attention deficit disorder). But it’s so mild I don’t even know I have it. At least my attention span is short and I have concentrating issues. The biggest problem is probably not being driven enough. I don’t make any goals because I know I don’t have enough of courage to fulfil them. I’m scared of getting out of my comfort zone. I like trying something new but taking the first step is always difficult for me. I take chances with small steps. But take my time to decide what to do. I can’t just pull up my sleeve and get started. At least I take control of my own life and I educate myself to be better.

helsinki design school merch
Helsinki Design School

I’ll begin studying graphic design in August. I wrote it here but I mention it on this blog too. It will be nice to learn something new. Even if I do study  I can do something else too. We only meet twice a month. I still can’t believe I got in so I think it will soak in when it begins. I did think about it for a while if I should apply or not. I did once before but I got lucky the second time. Some people might think I’m mad for studying in such an expensive school. But is staying at home and waiting for a miracle a better choice? Not so much. I want to do something and not just be. I’m been doing that for too long. I will still think before acting. If you want things done right, you should do it at your own pace.

 

Things that astonish me

MiaLeave a comment
Astonished sunset
Photo of a sunset I took.

Life is full of surprises. Most of them happen to other people. Things that astonish me the most is the talent of other people. It’s amazing what some can do. Let’s take people who work in design for example. I don’t know where they get their ideas. When I try to design something, it ends in nothing special. I don’t astonish people professionally. It’s different if I do it as a hobby. But there is a big difference between pro and amateur. I won’t be ‘discovered’ and be wanted my big companies. I don’t think I want to either but that was just an example. I just feel left out of these great surprises. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others but when I look at what others can do, I feel like a loser.

I have no luck in job search and I have no luck in love. I never meet anyone through a friend nor will I ever bump accidentally into my crush and we fall in love. I won’t find a friend who’s on the same wavelength as me. It’s not like I really want these things. My point is, I never had this kind of surprises in life and it upsets me a little. All I meet are jerks or just pass walking people that I never become friends with. If there’s someone I want, they’re too far away or taken. I never met anyone who shares my feelings. Helpless love is the story of my life. I’ve substituted love for other things. Sometimes I think about it and feel sad but the freedom of being alone is so much more tempting. As I get older my options are getting worse. If I ever did had any in the first place.

I’m also astonished how some people can have so many friends at once. It’s unnatural. When people get together they make a lot of noise. They’re like a bunch of howling monkeys. In my father’s building, there lives this kind of people. Like right now. It’s May Day Eve and they have their stupid noise parties. It sounds like they have a competition of who can shout the loudest. Are these people really students because they seem to have no common sense. That’s what the problem with the world today. It’s me, me. As long as I have it good, nothing else matters. I really hope these party people will leave soon. But that probably won’t happen. There seems to arrive more people. That’s what the problem is when you live in a flat. There are always idiots not caring about anything but themselves. The only thing to do is have the TV or radio on and which the noise will stop sooner or later. It will and then it really is a party, mine. Too many people are stressful so I can’t understand why there is a need for so many friends. Each to their own. A shame other people have to listen to the rack for hours.

There is a lot of other things that astonish me but I would be here writing all night. I’m sure there are people out there who I astonish but in small doses. That’s better than do things in vain where no one notice. Like this blog for example. For the comments I got in the past, people are astonished by my English. Actually, Finns, in general, are good at it because we learn it from 3rd or 4th grade. I’m astonished myself at times. If I had more confidence in myself, I would be more secure. But you have you get what you can.