Living on my own

pawns
Made in Canva

A lot of people complain about their relationship status. They’re trying to find The One. Finding that partner to make them feel alive. Some of them are afraid to die alone. What’s so bad about that anyway? You probably gonna do that anyway. No one knows how they’re gonna die. So that’s not really a good reason. Maybe some need someone in their life but I don’t. I like living on my own. I’m like Peter Pan who don’t want to do adult stuff like dating. Who would even want to date me? I never even liked anyone enough to date them. Only men who I can’t have. Relationships have too much drama. I’ve got other things to do and think about. Unless someone like Tom Hiddleston comes along (Which he isn’t) Then I could consider dating.

I don’t find anything good about being in a relationship. Men probably want someone who can substitute their mother. I don’t know what’s so wrong about being single. You read about these celebrities having a new relationship as soon as the old is over. Where do they find a new one that fast? Is there a store where you can find them? Then they only date other celebs. What’s that about? Being an ordinary person is not good enough for them? When I see celebs actually being married or dating a so-call normal person, I salute them. But they probably met through a friend or working behind the scenes in something. I don’t mean I would want to date a celebrity. In some cases, I hate the word ‘celebrity’ because they’re more than that to me.  A shame no one of these people is ordinary that you can meet in your local store.

Living on your own is so much better. You can stay up as late as you like without having to hear, “Close that television and go to sleep, will you?” You can clean your flat when you feel like it. You only need to wash your own clothes. You don’t have to take care of anyone else but yourself. You can watch anything on television without having to argue about it. You can meet your friends when it best suits you. Just to mention a few. Not everyone wants to have other people around all the time. If you want company you can go outside and see other people.

If you want an ordinary life with a husband and 1,5 kids then it’s your choice. But don’t go around telling others they should too because it’s so ‘wonderful’ There are people who don’t want that kind of life. Relatives are the worse in this case. They expect you to be like everyone else. Everything that goes on in your life, is no concern of theirs. You should be allowed to keep things to yourself. I don’t go and tell people how to live their life so I expect them to do the same. What I dislike the most is people telling me what to do. Forcing others to do things they don’t want to won’t help anyone. It just makes people agitated and conflict will arise. You need to accept differences and let people be (or do) what suits them the best.

So excited I can’t hide it

two lions sleeping
Made in Canva

OK, I’m not. You won’t find any ebullient in me whatsoever. It’s back to the same boring life as before. If I do have that enthusiasm, then it’s short lived. The only exciting thing I will have is back to school at the end of this month. At the beginning of this year I had ebullient thoughts but now they’ve faded. It’s still early though so maybe it will come back. You don’t need to start new things on the first day of the year. It won’t spoil the whole year. So I’m been lazy and slept too long. Maybe I’m just gathering my strength for February. I’m really slow at making decisions because I look at many different angles. I’m not gonna rush things. If others can’t accept it, then it’s too bad.

I really admire young people with their hopes for the future. Some of them believe they will find a job in their field after they graduate. That’s what I thought too. But life doesn’t go the way you think. Of course, it’s great if they really get a job. But everything isn’t that obvious. It goes with everything in this life. I had plans when I was younger but they didn’t come real. My plans have changed a lot since then and I don’t think I would want to have the things I wanted in the past. I keep both of my feet firmly on the ground and don’t get too ebullient. You need to be realistic. Life is not a movie where everything is written in advance. You can be ebullient for a while but then get back to reality again.

Anticipate the future is the hardest thing

anticipate
Made in Canva

Another new year is here. It’s 2019 and another opportunity to plan ahead. But to anticipate the future is the hardest thing. Don’t ask me what I do in 5 years because I don’t even know what I do next week. I can only wish things but they won’t become reality. Life should be full a surprises and not something you plan ahead. People make bucket lists or make new years resolutions. I don’t make neither of them. It’s a waste of time and they never come true anyway. I don’t hesitate with decisions. I just hate rushing things.

Having so many disappointments in life, you don’t expect much. You appreciate the things you got. People usually complain about things they don’t have. I don’t want to be one of those people who doesn’t see anything good in anything. I always try to see good things in everything. I didn’t plan my life to be in the state it is now. But the past is the past. I only want to look forward. I can look back at the past for a moment but then move on.

There is at least one thing to look forward to this year. A certain thing that really is going to happen. That is the graphic design course I’m on. It ends in June. There is still things to learn and things to do. One is a portfolio that we’ve gonna present in front of the class. I hope that goes well because I don’t like public speaking. I’m not as nervous about that as I was before. Of course, it’s easy to say it now. I can never anticipate how things like that will go. I know when I get there. I haven’t started planning the portfolio yet so I don’t know what I put in it. It’s not the first time I make a portfolio so there are no problems in that. The thing is what work to put in it. The other thing is what to tell about the assignments I’ve done. Finding what your strength is also difficult. The best thing about presenting your portfolio is straight feedback from the teacher. It’s a long way to the presentation day so no need to stress about it.