Bloganuary: Step back in time

clocks
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

Day 21. If I could step back in time, I would return to my childhood at the beginning of the 1980s. My family was complete then. Both of my grandmothers were alive, and my sister. I would relive those times when I was a small child. You have no problems, and you live a carefree life. I don’t remember much about that time. There are bits, but it would be nice to see how it was then. I miss Christmases the most. We always spend it within the family, and when my sister died in 1983, things weren’t the same again. Our family got smaller and smaller. It’s only me and dad left now. We have different videos of the times we spent together, so I can go down memory lane when I want to remember how it was. And photos, of course.

I would also like to see how my life would have been if things had turned some other way. How my sister would be like as an adult. Maybe the death of our mother would have been a bit easier. Or what if mother hadn’t died so soon. Thinking about these things are needless because life is what it is. Everybody dies one day. It would be nice to go back in time, but what happened then is in the past. You should live in the present because that’s something you can control. But playful thinking has never done anyone any harm.

A year go bye

winter landscape with a sunset
Made in Canva

No, there is no typo in the post title. It means a year is coming to an end and it’s time to say goodbye to 2018. As soon as Christmas is gone, the new year is around the corner. Today it’s winter solstice which means the days are getting lighter again. Good riddance most people say but I don’t mind the darkness. It only means you can walk outside without having to care how you look like. People don’t see your face and you don’t have to care about how your skin looks like. You could have a rash all over your face and no one would know. We got snow so it’s not so dark now. It snows now as we speak. It would be dull if there wouldn’t be snow on the ground at Christmas.

So what has the year 2018 given me? It didn’t start well. I didn’t get the job I went to a job interview for at the end of 2017. But it wasn’t right for me anyway. I probably never get a job interview again. Moving on.
I applied to a course about entrepreneurship in February but I didn’t get in the first time around. Luckily there was another one which I did get into. I wanted to do something and not sitting doing nothing. The course didn’t give me any results but it wasn’t disappointing either. I’m just not ready for entrepreneurship just yet. I’m still thinking about it but I’m waiting for a new year first and then we’ll see if I pick up the courage. Because let’s face it, being without a job is no fun.

I didn’t find any job to apply for so I decided to apply for education instead. That’s where Helsinki Design School and graphic design comes in. I got in the second time. One of the reasons were the assignments. I also wanted to learn more about graphic design. I’m really satisfied to be in this education. It’s a school I really like waking up early for. Even though it isn’t cheap but we only have to be in school twice a month. The problem is that you don’t get to know your classmate as closely as when you meet every day of the week. Unless you’re really social and make friends easily. The pros who educate us are really encouraging.

On a personal note. I found out I have 2 cousins from my father’s side. I always thought I had only one. We don’t keep in touch with relatives because they don’t keep in touch with us. I also got to meet my aunt who I hadn’t met in years for different reasons. If my mother would only be alive to know about all this. It’s nice to know I’m not completely alone.

So what have I really achieved this year that should be mentioned? Well, I haven’t had a soda all year. That should count for something. It started in January. It’s a month where you don’t drink alcohol for the whole month. Since I don’t drink it anyway, I did the same with soda. So no more Pepsi or Coca Cola. I wanted to test if I could resist temptation and I actually did. I haven’t had the need to drink soda at all. I think I’m gonna stick to this trend and my teeth will thank for it.

On blogging, I got new followers. I also got a domain to this blog. The Daily Post ended and this Ragtag Daily Prompt began. So that wraps my year. So how was yours?

Becoming an elder is not that bad

open diary and a pen

I don’t know what it is but when you become elder, you start to remember old things. Things you’ve been through and people you met. Even if you’re not that old, you still think about old things. Looking back at my life so far, I’m not the same person when I was a child or a teenager. If I met old school mates they wouldn’t know the person I am today. I hope I never meet these people. I would say thanks because without them I wouldn’t have become stronger. You shouldn’t live in the past and you need to grow because if you don’t you make the same mistakes over and over again. That’s not what life is about. It’s about growing and feel more confident about yourself.

Tomorrow the education in graphic design begins. I’m both excited and nervous at the same time. I love learning new things and this school has pros teaching. The nervous part is the introducing yourself to strangers. You never know what kind of people will attend this class. Last time I went to Helsinki Design School (2014-2015) the introduction didn’t go as I planned it. Now I’ve thought about it what I could say because I know what to expect. But I can’t guarantee I will succeed this time either. Thinking what to say and actually saying something out loud is two different things. Introverts know what I mean. Introducing myself could be different now since it was after all 4 years ago. My mother used to say I’m nervous around people I don’t know because I haven’t been around others so much. Or maybe it was talking on the phone? I don’t really remember. Anyway, I have been around people since I went to this school. Actually, I’ve changed my attitude when I go to new places. I used to be nervous because I was afraid to do something wrong. Now I’m more relaxed. In the end, it doesn’t matter how it goes. A lot of people dislike introducing themselves or being worried about making a mistake. Positive thinking makes you go far.

If I had a chance to go back in time, I would only go if I could experience things when my sister was still alive. Those were good memories. It would have been nice to meet my cousins from my father’s side when I was younger. My dad is a twin but his sister was too afraid to get in touch. But you deal with the cards you get. I’m glad I know my cousins now. At least the one who lives in my city. All this time I thought I only had one cousin from my mother’s side. Life is full of surprises. I rather see to the future than the past. Becoming an elder is not that bad. You always learn something and your thoughts change. When you experience things, you see things from a different angle. It can make you mentally stronger but it can also make you weaker. It depends how you see things. Giving up is not the answer. No matter how bad things are, there is always hope. We all become elder no matter what you try. We just have to make the best of it.