Delete, rewrite and repeat

pencil erasing word delete
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Things don’t always go the way you planned them. If it’s career choices or writing stories. It’s delete, rewrite and repeat. With a pencil and a computer, you can erase them. But with life, you can only move on and not think about what you didn’t do in the past. You have regrets, but it’s too late to delete them. If you get stuck in the past, you won’t grow as a person.

I could have done things differently when I was younger. I shouldn’t have been so careful. My resume would have looked different if I had been in a summer job as a teenager. But I wanted to have a summer break because schoolwork was hard enough. I applied for a summer job once, but I didn’t get one. The positions were drawn, so only the lucky ones got them. I didn’t try again. I helped my dad in his business, but that wasn’t a job that I could put on a resume. You can’t go back and change the past, and I wish employers would understand that too. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I studied different things. Some find their niche by working, but I did it through studying. A shame it’s only job experiences that count.

It’s OK to delete things because you can rewrite them again. You learn new things, and you won’t be the same person when you were younger. Hopefully, you will become smarter and don’t repeat the mistakes you made in the past. It doesn’t need to be a mistake. It might be something you would do differently. Either way, regrets don’t get you anywhere. The future counts, and that’s what you shouldn’t delete.

When things go dishevel

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I went to the career coaching thing because I wanted to elucidate my job search skills (and the job centre suggested it). I did get my cover letter and resume updated, but the rest is dishevelled. There is a difference between sending an open application to an ordinary job and to a place where a portfolio is essential. I don’t think I will get any replies from the companies I applied to. They don’t look for people like me. They probably take someone with an impressive portfolio. Honestly, mine isn’t that good. I should get more job experience, but I don’t think I even get an internship. I might sound pessimistic, but you become that when things never go the way you wish. The ‘you don’t know if you don’t try’- thing isn’t what I believe in. I’ve tried that many times, but nothing has come out of it. It has worked when it comes to studying, but never in the job search. One of the downsides of sending open applications is that you never know if they will get in touch with you. It can take ages, or they never do. I’m not gonna wait for it. They say you should be in contact with the companies you sent them to. But that feels awkward, and it feels like you’re disturbing them. You shouldn’t say to me that the worse thing that can happen is if they say no. It will be no, and those words don’t make me feel better. It only makes me feel even more useless and unmotivated. Life shouldn’t be about job search. It’s not a full day job. Will never understand why someone would want to waste their whole day on it.

The only time things aren’t dishevel is when it comes to spare time. I have a lot to do on that front. I went to an ice hockey game a few days ago. Nothing beats a live sports event. I never get to see ice hockey on TV because it’s on a paid TV channel. I only listen to the radio. I didn’t get to the event in time because I took the wrong bus and then got lost. I had to take a taxi, so I lost 15 euros there. If I only wouldn’t have believed the bus app, I wouldn’t have gotten on the wrong bus. I knew what bus to take, but I thought I would take another bus that went the same way. Never be too sure where you are. If you know an easier way to do things, do it that way. I’ve learned my lesson. Next time I go and see ice hockey, I will take the bus that gets closer to the place where the event is held. The trip home went right, so I got home safely.

Things can’t stay the same all the time. They have to elucidate sometime. It has in the past. Anything can happen in this life. Or it might not happen at all. I wish certain things would come more often my way, but I guess that’s too much to ask. I just need to move on. You fall, but you get up again. If, at first, you don’t succeed, you might have the 100th time. Whatever success means to you, it’s the right one. For me, it’s finishing this blog post. Tomorrow it might be something else.

The impetus in a labyrinth of life

green labyrinth
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Using two different Ragtag Daily Prompt words today. When there are two words that you can have in the subject, you can have them in one post. Life is a labyrinth, but it’s easier to bear with some impetus. I haven’t had much time to blog because of the career coaching. I’ve also been tired to write anything. Actually, I haven’t blogged as much as I did in January. The months go so fast. I have had so many other things on my mind. I have updated my CV and written an open application. I have sent them to two businesses. On Monday I send to another. You never know if you ever get any replies. But at least I’ve done something. Job search is a labyrinth. You may get out of it, or you may not. You just need another plan. I’ve had so many goals in my adult life I don’t know which one this is. Even if I got encouragement on the career coaching course, I still feel there is no impetus inside me. I’m not confident enough I’ll get anything. I might have an OK looking CV and cover letter, but I will probably screw up the job interview if I get one. I’m not gonna think that far. I will see what happens gradually.

Life is about getting through difficult times. During Covid, it has shown who is good at a crisis and who is not. It shows how people behave. Some are probably too dependent on other people, so they can’t take it when they can’t be with their friends. You get mentally stronger when you get through bad times. Life isn’t always fun. People should learn that. Everyone needs alone time no matter what kind of people they are. Get through the labyrinth and find the impetus within you.