First impression is not always the best

first impression
Made in Canva

I don’t why some people think they know a person after they met them the first time. The first impression is not always the best. If the person is friendly, it’s because they have manners. But you can’t know what the person is like. E.g. they say the first impression is important in a job interview. Apparently, it should take 2 minutes. That’s how long people I meet spend time with me. I never get any friends because they’re not patient enough. Being friendly doesn’t get you, friends. Not that I need any. I’ve managed without them so far. With friends, I mean, friends offline. I have friends on Facebook that I went to the same school with, but I haven’t met them privately. Two of them are my former workmates, but I didn’t spend time with them after work. Our interests are just different.

I don’t know what it is, but no one seems to want to keep in touch after an education. Maybe I’m just boring, and they don’t bother. I haven’t missed them either. They don’t even live in the same city, so we couldn’t meet anyway. Only losers keep in touch with former schoolmates. Not really, though. Only those who keep in touch with their old friends in their childhood. At least I don’t understand why someone should. It doesn’t mean they are losers. It’s weird people still meet their childhood friends. You would think they would have grown apart by now. Personally, I wouldn’t try to find old friends. I wouldn’t have anything in common with them. They probably have families, or they’ve died. I rather meet new people and not keep in touch. I’m not very good at that. Not even when it comes to relatives.

Some people act to be friendly, but they’re not really. The first impression of a person is not always the best. Sometimes I wonder why someone has got a job in the first place. Especially if they work in the service sector. No matter how bad you feel, you shouldn’t take it out on a customer. It goes the other way around too. I was once in a Finnish train station, and I went to ask the service clerk about which rail my train would leave. I said what train it was. The woman behind the desk said negatively, just look at the board up on the wall over there. She didn’t even bother to look at her computer. There were a lot of trains coming and going. I thought I would miss my train. I did try to look for it on the screen, but it was confusing. That was the reason why I went to the clerk to ask in the first place. That’s the worst service I ever got. How can someone like her get a job in a service business with an attitude like that? Luckily, I did find my train, but she ruined my whole day. I’m still appalled when I think about that day. Your bad mood shouldn’t affect the way you treat others. Rudeness is one of the worst things in the world. It’s much better to be polite, and it also makes the customer feel they matter. The other way around too.

I always try to be friendly with others. Sometimes I get upset at something someone has done, but I don’t say it to someone face. Unless it’s someone I know well, then I’m not afraid to say my opinion. If I’m rude, I’m not doing it out of spite. If you answer with anger, then you get the same. If the person is rude, you shouldn’t be rude back. It’s easy to fall for that trap when the other is trying to provoke you. That person only wants to argue. I guess when you get older, you calm down and don’t go into every argument. At the first impression, you would think I’m always calm and don’t give out my own opinions. But there are a time and a place for everything. Never judge a person at first impression because you only get to know them after a longer period of time. Don’t give everything out at once. The best part of any relationship is having a mystery to solve. You might even learn something new about yourself.

Oh you’re so kind

I meant that in a sarcastic way. If you think Finns are nice, don’t be fooled. Some are not. They can be really rude. I don’t remember any specific personally. But my mother had.

Once when a woman had her dog running free in the park, my mother said it’s forbidden to do so. Which is true. It’s not a dog park after all. But this woman told her a rude remark instead. “I can do what I want”- kind of way. You selfish bitch, I would call that woman. Are dog people really that rude? That’s an impression the woman gave at least.

Another incident happened in our local marketplace. My mother used to go there to buy groceries at least once a week. She became acquainted with the saleswomen and men so the conversations could be quite long. The marketplace was her way to meet other people. One time when she was standing by a stand where they sold vegetables, talking to the saleswoman. This man came there and lit up a cigarette in front of the stand. My mother told him to move further away because he was polluting the food with his smoking.
But did he move? No. Instead he started insulting her. E.g. about her appearance and such.
After she told me about the incident I thought it was very rude of the man. Maybe he had been drinking. Some start to act like morons when they’re drunk. But that’s not an excuse to insult people. My mother just took her things and left.

Where is all the kindness in this world? Even if you say it nicely, you still get rudeness back. But the minority of Finns can be helpful. Now to the kindness part.

I have come across situations where I have fallen off my bike and a stranger have asked if I’m OK.
Once I fell off my bike and hurt myself quite badly. It had been raining and the peddles on my bike were wet. I was on my way to the centre to catch a bus to the school I studied at the time. I peddled standing up since the saddle was still moist. I hadn’t got very far when suddenly my right foot slipped from the pedal and off I went. I hit my right elbow in the asphalt. A woman just happened to walk pass and she came to me and asked if I was OK. We looked at my elbow and there was only a scratch. I said I was OK and we both went our way. But I wasn’t OK. A few moments later, I couldn’t move my arm. I still continued my journey. I’ve never passed out but in the bus I was close to. In the end it was only a strain injury. But it still hurt like hell.

To me kindness is small things. Even asking someone “are you OK?” makes you feel you’re not alone.