Tag: thoughts

Things that bother me

Mia2 Comments
thoughts with big letters
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What bothers you and why?

Daily Writing Prompt

First, an older post that the subject still bothers me.

Spray some popularity around me
Originally posted on March 11, 2019

Other things that bother me are that people don’t seem to care much about my latest post about the Bryan Adams concert and the summer of 24. I had to like my own, but I did that only to make myself feel better. OK, I can’t expect people to like every post I make. But sometimes I feel it’s all a waste of time. Spending time writing in a language that isn’t my own. I don’t know if this post will get much attention. It’s alright; at least I can get my thoughts down. People reading or not. July is probably a slow month anyway, so people are outside of everything.

What bothers me the most is employers’ not replying to applications. I sent one over a week ago through email, and still nothing. I guess there is no chance this time either. Using the time and energy of a job search wastes time. They can keep their jobs. I didn’t want to work there anyway. I’m too tired to wake up early. Being unemployed is much better than trying to fit in. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I don’t want to do a job that I don’t want to do. I only get offered jobs that aren’t for me. Thinking about job search spoils the mood.

Kudos to those who bother reading this blog post. If you don’t, it’s OK. It won’t bother me. There is more to life than writing and reading blogs. It’s only one part of it. When things bother me, they go away after a while. I think about the good stuff and try to think positively. Things can’t stay bad forever. At least I can have faith in that thought.

Don’t rush me

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three rocks
Photo: Openverse

What I hate the most is to rush things. I want to do things at my own pace. Things go better when I get the time to do them. If I need to rush things, I only get agitated. If I get an assignment, I will do it, but if you rush me, it won’t get finished faster. Life is not a competition where you must finish things before everyone else. I’ve never understood why you need to rush things. For example, if school or work starts at 9 a.m., what’s the big deal if you get late for a few minutes? Will you miss something? You can’t always be on time. As long as you don’t make a habit of being late. If I know I will be late, I won’t hurry because someone is waiting for me. I don’t like running to places. I like being on time, so I try to have enough time so I don’t need to rush. Especially if it comes to public transport. You need to be on time because it won’t wait. The last time I had to rush was when I had to catch a train while studying filmmaking this year. I almost overslept, and I had to hurry up. It was awful, but I did get to the train on time. I was totally knackered, and it reminded me how much I hate to rush.

The first time you need to rush is knowing what you want to be when you grow up. It begins when you turn 16 or 17. Should you attend high school (it’s voluntary in Finland) or not. That was an easy choice for me. By then, I was tired of school and didn’t like reading. I knew what I didn’t want to be. The most challenging part was what I wanted to do. When some people try to find their “calling” through work, I did it with studying. Maybe it was the wrong way to go because I lack work experience today, and now I must pay the price. But I did it my way, and other people did theirs. People tried to rush me to make decisions, but I always had my thoughts and needs. You can’t go back to the past to change things. You can only look forward. I can’t become something I’m not. I like learning new things, but I do without being rushed. Sometimes, it feels like time running out, and soon, I’m too old to become anything. That feeling goes away, though. If one dream won’t come true, then you have another one. But one thing is sure: I won’t rush to do anything.

My meander thoughts

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It's time to inspire text
Made in Canva

Recently my brain has been on holiday. I don’t feel like thinking about what to do in the Autumn. Besides the filming course at Helsinki Design School. I’m indecisive, so my thoughts can meander in my head. What I felt at the beginning of the year was not the same. It’s still summer, and my brain is too tired to think about anything serious. My summer plans are already done. I saw Duran Duran and Toto yesterday. Some photos from the concert are below.

Toto
Toto on stage
toto concert
Toto in concert 2022

I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I don’t know what kind of job I want to do. Time moves so fast. The last time I had a job was 2 years ago. That was a lifetime ago. I get all kinds of suggestions on LinkedIn, but they’re all wrong. The demands in work ads are impossible. I don’t know if I want to do any graphic design work. I might have studied the subject, but it doesn’t mean I can do any of it. I am not motivated to practise the topic because the job search is complex. Becoming an entrepreneur isn’t easy, either. Many of them have photos of themselves online, which I don’t want to do. One is enough. I don’t know if it’s mandatory or not. I can’t find any answers online to that question. I’m a bit disappointed with social media. No matter what I post, I have to like my own posts. How sad is that?! Or I don’t know. At least posting there isn’t a waste of time. Promoting your work online is crucial for an entrepreneur, but I don’t get many likes on my personal accounts, either. Besides, most people only like posts but don’t become clients.

I’m also disappointed people don’t get as excited as I am about the things I experience. Maybe it isn’t anything glamorous and just boring to them. Maybe my interests are just different from others. That’s nothing new. On Facebook, I only post for my own amusement and to fill my memories spot. It’s always nice to see what I did a year before or some years ago. Sometimes I wish my mind wouldn’t be so meandering, but what can you do? It’s a part of my personality, and I shouldn’t stress too much about it.