Don’t rush me

three rocks
Photo: Openverse

What I hate the most is to rush things. I want to do things at my own pace. Things go better when I get the time to do them. If I need to rush things, I only get agitated. If I get an assignment, I will do it, but if you rush me, it won’t get finished faster. Life is not a competition where you must finish things before everyone else. I’ve never understood why you need to rush things. For example, if school or work starts at 9 a.m., what’s the big deal if you get late for a few minutes? Will you miss something? You can’t always be on time. As long as you don’t make a habit of being late. If I know I will be late, I won’t hurry because someone is waiting for me. I don’t like running to places. I like being on time, so I try to have enough time so I don’t need to rush. Especially if it comes to public transport. You need to be on time because it won’t wait. The last time I had to rush was when I had to catch a train while studying filmmaking this year. I almost overslept, and I had to hurry up. It was awful, but I did get to the train on time. I was totally knackered, and it reminded me how much I hate to rush.

The first time you need to rush is knowing what you want to be when you grow up. It begins when you turn 16 or 17. Should you attend high school (it’s voluntary in Finland) or not. That was an easy choice for me. By then, I was tired of school and didn’t like reading. I knew what I didn’t want to be. The most challenging part was what I wanted to do. When some people try to find their “calling” through work, I did it with studying. Maybe it was the wrong way to go because I lack work experience today, and now I must pay the price. But I did it my way, and other people did theirs. People tried to rush me to make decisions, but I always had my thoughts and needs. You can’t go back to the past to change things. You can only look forward. I can’t become something I’m not. I like learning new things, but I do without being rushed. Sometimes, it feels like time running out, and soon, I’m too old to become anything. That feeling goes away, though. If one dream won’t come true, then you have another one. But one thing is sure: I won’t rush to do anything.

This post has no anachronism in it

text with background and flowers
Made in Canva

This post has no anachronism in it because I’m a modern person. I don’t know if I understood the word right, though. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t the movies ‘Back to the future’ and ‘Kate and Leopold‘ about that? There are characters in them that come from different times. Anyway, I belong in this time, but I yet don’t belong. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one with sense. I always thought I was a misfit. I wasn’t a typical teenager. I liked staying at home. I didn’t want to spend time in a youth centre or hang around in shopping centres. I didn’t need to be there. People who don’t like staying home must have a reason for not wanting to be there. I have never had that problem. I have never understood getting drunk. I don’t even like alcohol and not forgetting throwing up. It’s ridiculous to drink so much you can barely walk. It’s embarrassing to watch. Drunk people are boring too. Trying to get a decent conversation with people like that.

I was born at the right time. At least, that’s what I thought when I was younger. I’m not sure now. Sometimes I wish I could be younger, and sometimes older. I’m lucky to have experienced the world without computers and with computers. Kids today have no idea how things were in the past. Certain things were better then. We weren’t occupied with mobiles. You talked to people face to face. Parents trusted their kids. Even the music was better than it is today. Young people had respect for older people. Now parents are lost on how to raise their kids. Mental issues have increased, and so on. The list is endless.

The good thing about the present is that things are more accessible. You can buy food without leaving your home. You can use different apps to do many things without queueing anywhere. I’m glad I am the age I am right now. For example, I’m not a novice when it comes to technology. Many seniors have trouble with that. Certain things are complicated for many different ages, like a job search. It has become a sci-fi project where you need to be perfect. People tell you how to answer questions in a job interview; if you answer incorrectly, you won’t get the job. Why are things made so complicated? It’s a competition where only the pretty and lucky ones get anything. Modern technology is one of the reasons to blame for the world’s problems.

It’s good that I’m not a kid or a teenager. They need to see fake photos on social media, and they compare themselves to that. If you get bullied in school, they will also bully you online. There are a lot of expectations from other people. I don’t envy them. A lot of things seem to end up on social media. When I was young, we didn’t need computers and mobiles to feel alive. We lived for real then, and no one bothered what you did in your private life. There was pressure from other people, but they were people you knew. No stranger told you what to do and what to look like. The internet has made life easier, but it has also given more problems. But you can never go back, so you must live with what you have. You should think about the positive side of it all. That’s how you go by.

The junction of my work-life

two paths
Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

🎵I don’t know where I’m going. But I sure know where I’ve been🎵 Here I go again by Whitesnake

It’s uncanny how time has passed again. February already, and I’m in a junction what to do. I wouldn’t say I have a work-life because I don’t. I’m going on Wednesday to update my job-hunting thing. I don’t know what else to call it in English. I’m gonna meet a person to do it. I don’t know what my plans are. Looking for work is looking for a needle in a haystack. Why are they forcing me to apply for jobs where there is none. At least in the field, I’m looking for. I already sent an open application to all the companies I wanted. They didn’t need anyone. At least not me. I didn’t study the things I have to apply for a job I haven’t studied for.

I need to work in a place where they let me be away for a few days from time to time. I’m in school, and then I have concerts to attend. I bought the tickets ages ago and booked a few hotel rooms. I can’t cancel the concert tickets just because the employer doesn’t let me go. It would be easier if I were an entrepreneur because I wouldn’t need anyone’s permission. Being unemployed is restricted. You’re not allowed to do what you want. Well, you are, but then you have no security regarding money. I’m glad I don’t live in the US, or I would probably be living on the street. Our system is more secure. Most people get some kind of benefit, perhaps one of the reasons we don’t have many homeless people. Here in Finland, we take care of people. Most of the time, anyway.

I know where I’ve been and don’t want to return. I look forward. I don’t want to stay in the same junction where I am right now. I need to choose one path and then follow it. My mind is all over the place at the moment. Somehow I’ve always been indecisive because I want to do many things. I also don’t want it to be something that bores me. Life is too short to do things that you don’t like doing. Money hasn’t been my motivation. I only need enough money to pay the bills and maybe travel. In a way, I understand people who don’t want to work, but I can’t understand someone who wants to live with the money they get from benefits. You don’t work for the money. You work because you want to belong somewhere. Besides, having something to do during the day and seeing other people is better than being alone without experiencing anything. The reason I do things is to get life experiences. Hopefully, I would find that in a job.