Coming up with an ingenuity that no one has yet discovered is not an easy task. But if it was easy everyone would be a genius. Maybe someone would have found a cure to all the wrong things that happen in life. Sometimes things are what they are and you can really do anything about it. You just have to accept it and move on. There have been times when I thought I made the best ingenuity ever but they turned to shit. One of them was when I planned what my blog would be about. Not only on WordPress but also on Tumblr. The later is a bit of a disappointment. Their whole concept is boring these days anyway. And it’s not because they turned off all the explicit stuff. It’s actually a good thing. It means no more pornographic followers. Those annoyed me the most since my Tumblr’s was nothing about that. There are no decent posts to reblog either so I don’t use it as often as I used to. Besides, Tumblr had some weird stuff and I wouldn’t recommend it to any sane person. Well, I used it so what does that say about me. It does have decent things there too so it’s not all bad.
I’ve had so many bad ideas about occupations and educations so I doubt I get anything right. I’m still disappointed about some of the feedback I got from a school assignment at Helsinki Design School and the portfolio presentation. So I’m gonna complain about that again. I thought I could do graphic design but the education made me think maybe I don’t have what it takes. It made me feel like a loser who thinks too highly of themselves. I don’t exactly get hundreds of views or likes on work I’ve posted online. It feels like talking to a wall. I don’t have the ingenuity that you probably need if you want to work with design. Practice makes you better but my motivation is low so I don’t feel like it. I have this demon on my shoulder saying, then give up, but then the angel says, no don’t. The reason why I went to this education was to add a service to my possible web design business but it hasn’t gone as I thought. Not having enough confident of my skills it’s hard to imagine anyone wanting to hire me for their project. In design, it’s important to know people and I don’t know anyone.
I applied to employment training in digital marketing and e-commerce just to have a plan and because I’m interested in it. It’s a long way to that and I don’t even know if I get in the course. For now, that is some kind of ingenuity for the near future. Having many backup plans is never a bad thing. If it’s good or not will remain to be seen.
When you’re young you think you need to make final decisions about your future and stick with it. But in life, you never know. Sometimes you have to abandon a plan and start all over. It’s fine to change your mind. I’ve started a lot of things over again. If it’s about choosing an occupation or even starting a blog. A lot of people made bucket lists and if they don’t achieve them they feel they have failed. Life is not gonna be over. You can achieve them at any age. You don’t need to do everything before you’re 20 or 30. Not even in your life. Some things are impossible to achieve anyway. For example, everyone won’t invent something that still doesn’t exist. Your goals should be little things.
An abandon plan opens a new one and it can be something much better. I have many times abandoned my fanfictions and starting a new one. So I have quite a lot of unfinished stories I’ve posted online. I get new ideas and then I forget the old ones. It’s either boredom of the stories or my interests have changed. It can also be because I feel people aren’t reading them anymore. I don’t know if the new ideas are better though. I post them on AO3 (Archive of our own) and some older stories still get kudos even if I finished them ages ago. I use to post them on my fanfiction blog here on WordPress but it’s a bit difficult because my stories are quite long. I just can’t seem to write short stories. I plan it to be short but then when I get ideas, they keep on coming.
Before I started this blog I had a few but they didn’t pay off. You know what they say (or William Edward Hickson said), if you don’t first succeed, try try and again. So I did and here I am, still. I also have two on Tumblr but the whole place has gone downhill. I can’t find anything to post there. I had to start the main blog all over again so the old stuff I had there is gone. So no more pics of Tom Hiddleston. Not that I reblogged that very often. Now nothing interesting is coming on the Explore. It’s a place where you can find what is trending and recommendations for you. Since all the old things are gone on my blog the rest is gone too. I reblogged quite a lot but now there’s only boring stuff. I don’t bother searching for things to post myself either. Besides, Tumblr has always been a place for weird stuff. It was fun when I started to use it but now I’m quite bored with it. At least they banned pornographic stuff there. I hated it when people with half-naked photos of themselves started to follow my blog. I’m no prude but my blog wasn’t for people like that. The only thing I post there is this blog post but it’s probably going to deaf ears over there.
I wish I could make easy decisions with other things like I do with writing. I shouldn’t be worried about failing but I still do. With writing it doesn’t matter if I fail because it’s just a hobby but if I fail in life decisions things can go worse. Running out of money or end up on the street. That’s quite a radical example but it could happen. I think that’s one of the reasons why I keep thinking about becoming an entrepreneur or not. It’s easy to think about things in your head but the reality is much harder. I go back and forth with my thoughts but I can’t make a decision. As an unemployed, it’s not easy to start something because if you do, you get in trouble with the job centre. And other things could happen which I won’t get into. Some impatient person would probably be fed up with my indecisiveness already. No one should be hurried with deciding things. You should do them in your own time. Plans take time to fulfil. I wish I would have thought like this when I was younger. It would have saved a lot of time and less stress. Even though I don’t regret my past I wish I could have abandoned some things a bit faster than I did. What done is done.
You write something online (a blog or whatever) and then some take it personally. They tell you you’re wrong. They tell you can’t criticize or say anything negative about anything. They tell you what you should post. If you write your opinions, they can’t take it so they unfollow you.
That kind of followers are not worth having. If you don’t respect my opinion, I won’t respect yours. Tumblr is full of these who are afraid of criticism. But what to expect from teenagers. They take everything seriously. What kind of person unfollows a blog or any social media just because they don’t agree. We can’t always get along. Those people probably can’t handle conflicts in real life either.
I won’t lose sleep if people unfollow me. It’s their problem, not mine. I don’t keep a blog to please people. I might write negative things but I’m not aiming it on anyone personally. It’s my blog and I write what I like. If I criticise it, it’s my business. Not just this blog but also on the internet in general. Especially on Tumblr where people only seem to care about how many followers they get. Sometimes I do wonder why am I not getting much. I’ve already been there since 2012. I have 4 different one’s. I hardly get even likes no matter what I post in them. Even this post will go to the randomlythings. But that’s beside the point.
The most frustrated is The Blacklist one. It’s soon one year old but I have only 65 followers. That’s better than nothing but still not much going on there. Why do people even follow if they don’t interact. Just wondering. But again, I won’t lose sleep over it. The show came back from a break and now it’s back on. And yet nothing much going on when it comes to reblogs or likes. But I’m just impatient when it comes to waiting.
So much work with Tumblr. All that work goes to waste if no one reacts. I dislike unnecessary work. It’s like cleaning. No matter how much you do it, it’s still gonna get dirty again. You need motivations from others to keep doing it. The same goes with photography and writing. If no one gives you feedback, how can you learn getting better. I can’t. I just let it be and don’t even try. Because what’s the point? I don’t know how to get better. When I do, how will I know if no one doesn’t tell me.
I can handle negative criticism as long as I get something positive out of it. I wish I could say the same for some. People are just too afraid to hurt people’s feelings so they hold their opinions to themselves. If you don’t like me, just say so because I’m sure I won’t like you either. But be careful you don’t sound insulting because I can be as insulting as you and you don’t want to see that side of me.
You know what they say, opinions are like a§§h0les, we all got one.