This is another boring post. Nothing unexpected ever happens anyway. The only thing that has happened is that this blog now has over 800 likes. Small yay. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a weirdos magnet. I don’t mean this blog. It’s more about social media. I don’t know if I bother to use it as much anymore. I rarely get any reactions to my tweets. It depends on the subject, though. I never get decent followers. Maybe I’m being chased by bots. I’m not even sure my followers on Twitter are real people. The same with Instagram. Some of them are real people. But they’re just there. Using social media as a hobby isn’t a big deal. I have no luck in the business one either.
I don’t know why I write this blog post. I have nothing to say. I could have only let it be. I’m so boring, and no one truly cares. No one is maybe a tad extreme, though. Sometimes only writing to myself isn’t enough. Why bother to do anything? Everything is so boring. They were boring long before covid. Nothing unexpected happens to me anyway. If my life was a TV series, it would the most boring ever. I’m so untalented too. My work never gets mentioned on someone’s Instagram. It makes me feel down every time this place (Helsinki Design School) shows their current students work on their account. My assignment wasn’t that good, and I still blow at it. I will never become a graphic designer—any designer for that matter. Many of my former schoolmates have probably moved on, and who knows what kind of great achievements they already have. I’m mostly disappointed in myself for being such a lazy person. I can only blame myself for not being brave enough. I also have awful ideas. Or no ideas at all, so I don’t feel like practising it either.
I don’t feel like writing this post anymore. I only want to watch videos on Youtube or something else online. So nothing unexpected ever happens. Well, I don’t want drama anyway.
WordPress has a new feature where you can embed a Twitter post. It’s quite mouthwatering when you can test something new. Below you can see one of my tweets. I think the feature is OK but I don’t think I will use it that much. At least it’s easier to post a tweet on your blog.
This has been postponed to 2021. Then we’ll have a big party
Do this and you get that. If you don’t do what you are told you will get into trouble or don’t get anything. It’s sabotage to get told what to do with your own life. Not just your life but other things you do. Or don’t do. I don’t really have a point in this post. All I know is what sabotage is when you want to be yourself but is not allowed to. People should have the right to be whatever sexuality they are without having to announce it to the world. But some people have the urge to know everything about everyone. I don’t get this “getting out of the closet” when someone announces they are gay or any other sexuality. Straight people never have to announce they’re straight. What’s up with that? Isn’t it because it’s “normal”? And why are gay people living in a closet? I guess there is so much prejudice so people are embarrassed to be different when it shouldn’t be. Some people have attitude problems towards certain people. I don’t know how people like that can live with themselves. I welcome everyone no matter who they are. As long as they’re nice people. Negative and disrespectful people don’t have a place in my life.
Some things feel like sabotage. Like job search. I did get again a message “Thanks for replying but you’re not chosen” for that packaging thing I mentioned in this post. When then, I wonder. They probably chose someone in their 20s. Well, I didn’t want it that bad anyway. That thought makes me feel less worthless. Not that I feel worthless. Some people are embarrassed they’re unemployed so they don’t tell many people. I’m not that fussy. If people think I’m lazy, let them. I’m in my 40s and I should find a job much easier than someone in their 50s. Easier, not easy. But I guess my resume isn’t “sexy” enough. They said you should apply for jobs outside your own field. I did but I didn’t get anywhere. So there goes that theory. At least I can tell the jobcentre I did apply for a job. I don’t know if I should tell them about the graphic design education in Helsinki Design School though. It’s been a while since that ended so maybe not. Why does job searching make me feel so old? I have a lot of energy left but there are too many gaps in my resume. Educations are worth nothing.
Sometimes it feels like sabotage in social media. It’s like someone have said, “don’t like or post anything to that person” Which is just paranoia. I’m no one famous and not many know me on social media. I don’t know why I don’t get that many likes and such. Even on this blog, I don’t get as many likes I used to. Are my blog posts uninterested? Have I told everything and my posts are repeating themselves? Questions like that entered my mind. It really depends on what I write about. On Twitter, I get likes when TV programs are on. Or if it’s tweeting about Formula One. But if I share a blog post or tweet about something else, then I don’t get any. I will never get thousands of likes anywhere but I’m not expecting that either. Some people do anything to get likes to their posts and then they get on the news. ‘This person got 500 00 likes in an hour’ And then the photo they’ve posted isn’t even anything special. People just like weird things. If I posted something like that, it probably wouldn’t even get noticed. Then again I’m just assuming. My motives for social media is different from others. I don’t seek big audiences. It’s the quality that matters.
You can also sabotage your own future by doing crimes. Or even post drunk photos on social media. I don’t know why people do that in the first place. Who wants to see that kind of photos anyway. Know one wants to hire a boozer or even be friends with one. Drunk people are boring as well. Some people think if you don’t smoke and drink you don’t know how to have fun. Well, you can sabotage your own health and your future as much as you want. But I don’t want to live my life that. It’s just isn’t my kind of fun and it has never been. I find parties boring and a waste of energy. I rather stay home alone and do something by myself. If that sounds boring then so be it. Sabotage my solitude then you can think again. Just saying.