Climbing the misty mountain

misty mountain
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I don’t mean the misty mountain in ‘The Hobbit’. It’s the misty mountain of life. I feel like I’m walking in a mist, and I don’t know where I’m going. I thought it was getting clearer, but it’s just getting mistier. I don’t get anything done. By the time I wake up, the whole day is gone. When people end their day, I’m only waking up. The entire day is wasted. That mountain of life is getting harder to climb. What I thought interested me wasn’t what I wanted after all. Maybe I do, but someone or something is holding me down. At least I don’t sit at home all day and only go out to the store. Some people are that lazy. I want to do something and not stay in the same place. That’s what I dreaded the most when I was a teenager, to get stuck in one place. I wanted to move abroad after I left school. I was restless and wanted to getaway. But that feeling went away when I got older. I was in a mist most of my youth, and now it feels like I’m in a similar situation.

Looking back at what educations I have, they are pretty useless. It’s a scam, the way people say how important education is. It doesn’t mean you get a job. At least I’ve done something. Other people might not appreciate my efforts, but I feel proud of them. I learned something, and maybe I’ve forgotten them already. But I’ve learned. I haven’t had the opportunity to use my education anywhere. It’s a bit depressive looking at job ads because nothing suits me. They say there are a lot of jobs, but that doesn’t help when there is nothing for me. I had high hopes about what to do next. But the years go by so fast, so it feels like I can’t keep up. It was three years ago when I took an entrepreneur course. Two years since the graphic design course. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Other people are much better than me and more experienced. It’s useless to compete with them. If I apply for a job in graphic design, guess who gets the job. Not me, that’s for sure. The employers just look at my resume and already decide I’m not the one.

Life is a misty mountain to climb. Some people might have the strength to get through it, but I don’t have the patience. Like Rene says in ‘Allo ‘Allo “, This is no life for a coward. Especially one with a good business.” Except I don’t have a business. At the moment, I just want to live one day at a time. The mist might go away one day. I only hope it won’t stay there forever.

Music for my ears

pastel colour earphones on pastel background
Photo by Moose Photos on

Music makes my life worth living. It also weakens other noises around you. Like the next-door-neighbour talking or just making other noises. Every other noise other than music disturbs me. I keep the radio on while I sleep, but if I hear talking before I do, it annoys me. I listen to music every day, so you can say it’s my life. I have Spotify Premium, so I can listen to it without ads. Those are annoying. It cost 10.99 euros per month, but that’s better than nothing. I can listen to songs that aren’t played on the radio. All those nostalgic music tunes. Love it.

I still buy CD’s from time to time, because I like the covers and the leaflets that go with them. Without music, movies and TV series wouldn’t be the same. Imagine them without sound. I can’t even. I usually don’t listen to classical music, but when it comes to drama, then it’s the best. My favourite music is 1980s music. We have a radio station that only plays 80s music. Sometimes they play too much of the same though, which can be a bit annoying. They have spoiled a few songs that I used to love, but now I don’t. One of them is ‘Living on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi. Maybe the radio station doesn’t have the right to play anything else. They do play others song by them too, but especially that song. When I was 18, I went to drivers school and thought I would have a car, so I could blast my favourite songs. But I didn’t finish it. Now when I’m in driving school again and when I get the licence, I probably won’t play music that loud. At least not so everyone else can hear. I hate it when young people drive, and noise is blasting out of their cars. It’s not music, only annoying noise. There are differences between noise and music, you know.

I hardly listen to music outside with headphones, because then you won’t hear the birds singing. You see people with headphones on while they walk or cycle, and they don’t hear or see anything. It can be dangerous to walk like that in traffic. People walk around holding their phones in their hand, and even young kids do that. First of all, it looks silly and secondly you can get hit by a car if you only concentrate on your phone. They usually listen to music, and they don’t stop when they change the music. If I look at my mobile, I stop walking and then put it away. Mobile can’t be that important, so you want to risk your life for it. If you have a death wish, then just go ahead. Music is my life, but I don’t want to jeopardize my health with it. Not forgetting losing my hearing. It’s still good because I haven’t spoilt it in my youth by listening to music too loud. My hearing is so good. I can hear things that aren’t there. Even in a middle of a conversation, I can hear noises in the background. I don’t know if it’s because my hearing is so good or that I’m an introvert.

Music has been part of my life since I was a child. Listening to it and playing instruments. Not good enough to perform with one, but still playing for fun. I’ve tried a lot if different once, but there is one that I really would love to try. That is playing the violin. The only string instrument I have tried is the acoustic guitar, and that was difficult. So the violin must be even harder to learn to play. Maybe one day, I get to try one. Listening to music is more my thing, and I can’t live without it.

Life is a ball of yarn

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Life is a ball of yarn. It can be colourful or grey dull. Come to think of it my life isn’t as boring as grey. But it could have more colour in it. What is excitement anyway? For some, it might be wild experiences like bungee jumping or parachuting. For some, it can be going to parties and dating several people. There are different excitements. Some are settled for less. Someone might think my life is boring but that’s not how I see it. I don’t need experiences like some people do. It’s my life and I live it the way I want it. If people want to have wild experiences let them have it. That’s not what I want. I don’t even like rollercoasters so why would I want to try other crazy things. Travelling alone in short distances is excitement enough. Besides, I hate being nervous. I rather live a long life than live in a short one. I don’t have a death wish so I stay away from dangerous things and places. Living as healthy as possible is the main thing.

Especially when you’re a teenager it seems to be so important to have fun. But partying every Friday night is not fun. That’s ruining your health. Drinking and smoking are not fun either. I can’t stand drunk people. Then they complain about having a hangover the next day. Then don’t drink that much. I can’t understand how someone can drink so much so they can hardly walk. I don’t even like the taste of alcohol so I don’t know how someone can drink that stuff. I rather go to the movies or watch one at home than being out looking stupid. When I was a teenager I thought it was so silly when my classmates tried to buy alcohol when they were underaged. Here the legal age is 18. Even now years later I find it so amusing how pathetic they were. Not much has changed since then. I guess some just have to experience something forbidden when they’re young but I never had that urge. I didn’t see any point in it. I guess I was smarter than most people of the same age. There’s nothing wrong being a good girl or boy. You don’t need to be like everyone else and that’s the fun part. I found an article called ‘Fun, what is it?‘ and I totally agree with that. What other think is boring is fun for another. It’s the same the other way around.

The world is crazy but do not be part of that life. You can make your own life sane. Or as sane as possible. It’s easy to go along with other peoples suggestions. You should be able to say no even if it isn’t easy. For me saying no is not a problem. Actually, that’s much easier than saying yes. That’s because I’m selective and think before deciding. For some, it can be difficult to say no. There are things you don’t have to agree to and that’s doing things you don’t really want to. If partying is not your thing, you shouldn’t have to take part in one. The life of yarn has a lot of choices and you should do what pleases you the most. If a family member or a friend don’t accept for who you are, they’re not really supportive and that’s what everyone needs. Fortunately, there are people who do actually have respect for you and those are the people you should have around. Internet is great place to find people like that. You can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t waste your time trying to.