The report of my trip to Saint Petersburg is delayed further but it’s nothing dramatic, I’ve just been lazy because of the hot weather lately.
A sanctuary doesn’t have to be a place that exists. It can also be in the mind. Sherlock has a mind palace but so do I. It’s not the same kind he has though. Mine is more like a place for my thoughts and feelings that I usually don’t show to other people. It’s an escape from reality. If I didn’t have a place where I can collect my thoughts, I would feel depressed and life in general would be much harder to handle. Some of those thoughts I write in this blog or in fan fiction. Besides writing is cheaper than going to therapy.
Sometimes I’m so deep in thought, nothing is disturbing my concentration. I can listen to music at the same time I’m in my mind palace. It’s only if there’s talking and can lose my focus. Even if I was in my thoughts I can still hear if someone wants my attention. That’s one of my strengths, observant. That’s something not a lot of people have. It can make people upset if I don’t answer them. But I actually do hear even if it doesn’t show.
If I didn’t use my mind as a sanctuary I would get mad. I need a place where I can live in my fantasy world. In that world everything goes as I want it to. If I could live in a different world than I would want to live in there. I think the reason why I sometimes get to my fantasy world is because the bad experiences I had since I was 6 years old. I think about things I wish I could experience and how thing could go. Sometimes I’m a different person in them. It’s not that I don’t like myself, it’s more about getting away for a while. A holiday from yourself, if you will.
I love writing fan fiction. People who read them don’t actually realise I put a lot of myself in them. I’m not much into writing things in detail. I write them in English so my vocabulary is limited. I’m not very good at describing a person in detail. Sometimes I struggle with it so I usually don’t bother with it so much. I mostly write about people who already exist so I feel it’s not very important. I rather concentrate on the plot. I’m not writing a novel after all. I write them because it’s fun and its good practise. When I read fan fiction I wrote years ago and compared them to what I write now, I’ve got better.
That’s where I use my mind palace. I think about a story in my mind and sometimes I close my eyes to imagine how things look. I have to get my thoughts out of my mind somehow. I get to that fantasy place when I feel life is being a pain but I also go there when life is bearable. I’ve always loved writing stories and been good at it. Reading a book is not the only way to develop your imagination. Other people read books, I read fan fiction.
So there you go. My sanctuary is my mind palace. It’s a place I go to whatever I’m feeling. It’s good for collecting thoughts but also a place where I go when I’ve lost something. I close my eyes where I go through my mind and try to remember where I saw the object last. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don’t. In a way I do have a mind palace like Sherlock, except I don’t solve crimes. If you don’t have a special sanctuary, then try your mind. It’s free and you can take it anywhere.
Time is strange, when you have things to do, time goes quickly but when you’re bored you look at the clock and it feels like time stood still.