Why I rather be self-employed than work for someone else

man working with a Mac computer
Made in Canva

Looking for a job is like searching for a needle in a haystack. First, it takes years before finding something interesting you want to be and then no one wants to hire you because you don’t have work experience in the field you studied. You don’t get experience because no one wants to hire you. Not even for an internship. You need to be a student to get one of those. It’s even better if you’re young. Bloody age discrimination. All these job ads are a joke too. There’s always a skill you don’t have. Then you need to have a bachelor’s degree in some jobs. In design, for example, that must be some education. It isn’t rocket science. The biggest problem is the lack of work experience. If you work for someone else you have to be the way they want. If you’re good enough for the culture of the company and so on. You also need to be social and outgoing. That means talking nonsense with your co-workers. That’s not a place for an introvert. Working for someone else seems so stressful. Things like that don’t inspire me at all.

I’ve been looking for web design jobs over a year and there’s nothing I could apply to. Most of the jobs are in the Helsinki area. It’s really depressive to look at job ads and boom you need to have at least 3 years of experience. How fun. Maybe I educated myself to the wrong occupation after all. But I have always been into creative things. I could have been like a lot of people. Working in a ‘normal’ job. In a job where you have a better chance to find a job. I’ve chosen this path and it’s too late to turn back. You should stick to your principles and not be like everyone else. A lot of people settle for the job they have because they have to support their family somehow. I only have to support myself so I can do what I want without having to ask permission from someone else. Since I can’t find a job in my field, entrepreneurship is becoming the only solution. I’ve already had clients so I have worked for free. There is a lot of talks you should volunteer first before earning money for your business but I’m past that. If I were a beginner then I could work for free but now when I have some work under my belt it would be wrong.

I’ve thought about entrepreneurship for some time now. I went to the entrepreneurship course earlier this year and my dad is self-employed so I know how it is. So what is stopping me from making the first step, you might ask. Well, like I wrote in this post, it’s difficult for me to start things. Starting a business has its cons and it can’t be taken lightly. There is a lot of rules and politics around it. Especially if you’re unemployed. You’re at the mercy of the unemployment agency. If you show the slightest glimpse of entrepreneurship, they take the benefits away from you. They decide if you’re a full-time or part-time entrepreneur. At least that’s how it works in Finland. It doesn’t matter if you get paid for your work or not. You need to be really careful or you end up with nothing. You have no money to live on and then you’re in a big trouble financially. You can apply for a startup grant before starting a business but it’s no guarantee you get it. The beginning of 2018, you could try entrepreneurship for 4 months without having to worry about losing your benefits. But it seems it doesn’t really work the way it was planned. Some people got more problems than solutions when they tried it. Reading about their experiences doesn’t attract me to try it.

What concerns me even more than the financial side is finding clients and trying to sell my skills. Am I really good enough for people to buy my services? Is there a market for my services? There’s so much to think about so everything seems so overwhelming. I’m not good at marketing myself. I could hire someone to do it but then you need money. The word, networking, is the worse an introvert can go through. I feel like like I’m an outsider when I’m in situations like that. On social media, it feels like no one notices my posts so I’m paranoid I don’t get people to find my business.
Another concern is the contracts you need for your clients. When I was in school it was already written. Of course, there are tips online about what to write in a contract and so on. But still, it concerns me. I’m worried I make mistakes. Everyone does those sometimes so I shouldn’t feel bad about it if I do. We all learn from our mistakes and so what if it doesn’t go the way you want it to. Maybe these are only excuses because I’m scared of a big change like that.

When you read about opinions or experiences about entrepreneurship it’s negative or really positive. Finns have a bad habit of encouraging others in a negative way. Some have the attitude that you shouldn’t try anything because you’re gonna fail anyway. If someone does something with their life and actually succeed, then other Finns are jealous. People make entrepreneurship like it’s really difficult. Maybe they just say so because they don’t want competition. There is so much paperwork when you have a business. Someone has failed at their business so they don’t recommend it to anyone. There is always an excuse. But those people who fail haven’t done things the right way. I never understood why things are made so difficult when there are things that aren’t that bad. There are so many good things being self-employed. I might not have all that it takes but I shouldn’t stop dreaming about it because someone says it shouldn’t be done. Would it be better to be unemployed and not ever try to do something with my life? I’m not one of those who rather sits on the couch and collects benefits the rest of their lives. The thought of having my own working schedule and not having to go to work like everyone else is tempting. That’s much better than search for a job I might never find.

Things I could reblog but it deserves a new post

snickers bar

Long title I know but this really deserves a new post. The reblog thing on WordPress is not very nice. Especially when the post have questions I want to answer. First of all, a big shout to Okoto for being such a great person and also because these questions are really good. So good and interesting that I have to answer them. So thank you again, Okoto 🙂

So here they are.

Q1. What is the one blogging goal you hope to achieve this year?
I never have any goals. Not in real life nor blogging. I can always wish things but I wouldn’t call them goals. I hope I will keep on blogging. It’s still a hobby and I won’t make a career of it. It won’t even be part of anything. It’s an escape from the real world.

Q2. What is your biggest fear about blogging this year?
It’s not a fear. I’m fearless when it comes to that. The only fear I have is if I’ll won’t have access to the internet. I’m busy with school and the internet is slow in the dorm. I moved to another room in another building and there it’s even slower. I can only write the blog in class after school and then of course at home at the weekend. In a way it’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll still have internet but the problem can occur if I blog rarely and people might stop following.

Q3. Which do you think matters more? Views or followers? 
It’s a bit of both. It doesn’t matter how many followers I have. All I care about is that someone gives comments. There’s no point of having a lot of followers if none of them interact. You can have followers but who really knows if they really read your blog. I like small crowds anyway. A small circle is more intimate. Views are nice to look at but it doesn’t prove anything.

Q4. What do you wish you could get rid of on your blog? And why? 
I wish I could get rid of spam. I want real comments. And why? Well, who loves spam anyway 😉

Q5. Has blogging helped you become more social in person?
No, not through blogging. I’m an introvert and I’ll never be more social. You only get more social if you spend time with people in real life. I’m still the same person I was before I started to blog. But since my mother died, I had to be more social and it’s also because I’ve got older. It gets better with age.

So there you have it. Not really excited answers, are they? 😀 But I’m not here to please everybody. Each to their own.


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

What is beauty? Who defines it? We all have different tastes and you can’t tell a person they’re wrong if they think someone is beautiful. Yes men can be that too. It’s a matter of opinion what it is. Beauty is not about your appearance, it’s what you feel inside and how you represent yourself that counts. Maybe pretty people don’t agree but that’s the truth.

If you have a pretty face but are ugly on the inside, looks doesn’t matter. The reason why I don’t understand these most beautiful woman or sexiest man alive polls is because we all have different tastes. These polls are unnecessary. They only choose people who are in the public eye at the time. I know a lot of men who are much better looking than the ones who gets these “awards” but because they’re not “In”, they won’t be recognised.
There is a lot of talk about Jennifer Aniston being voted the most beautiful women in the world 2016 about how wrong it was. Some said “Are they blind?” But that’s just one opinion. Some people just take these polls too seriously. Every year there is a new one so what’s the point fighting about it. It’s the same with beauty contests. Ideals change as the world changes. Why are people so petty when it comes to other people’s looks?

So what is beauty? Is it perfect skin, slim figure and a killer smile? Or is it a great personality, a person who cares about other people and awesome in many ways? For me beauty is the latter. There is no such thing as “ugly” In every person there’s something beautiful about them. Even she who was voted for the ugliest women in the world which I found insulting. People can be so cruel but she handled it well. You can’t change the way you look. You might try plastic surgery but what’s the use. You only live once. It’s better to just accept who you are. Natural is more beautiful than fake anyway.

I think only once someone had said I was beautiful but I don’t really need someone to say it. When I look at myself, there are times I feel really ugly but then there are days I’m alright about my looks. Photos are different. I hate myself in photos. I might be superficial when it comes to men but so are men who are not handsome and yet wants a beautiful women. Why can’t it be the other way around? It’s because the society expects to see women dress nice and wearing make-up. The fair sex. If you don’t fit into that category then you’re an outcast, a misfit.
I’m a tomboy and I hate girly stuff. I’m one of those rare one’s who rather get dirty than put on a skirt and make-up. I love watching sport and I’m also good at doing it. That was one of my favorite subjects in school. Especially when it was outside. I’m not afraid to break a nail (they’re not that long either 😀 ) I can’t understand how someone can wear high heels. I could never walk in those.
I feel different inside. Looking in the mirror I don’t see the person I feel. It’s a mismatch. I wish people could see me the way I see myself. Trying not to be overconfident but I do have an interesting personality. Everyone should feel proud about themselves. We’re all unique in our special ways. I just wish there were more people who could see others beyond looks. Not to judge someone by just looking at them. You should get to know that person first and that’s the only way to get to know them personally.

Especially men seem to have problems with women’s looks. They expect all women to look like models and if you’re not, they don’t even look your way. I think the reason is the way media represent ideals of how to look like. In movies and TV you see beautiful people all the time. It’s no wonder kids get the wrong idea about how to look like. Then you see in magazines tips about how to look better or how to lose weight. The list is long. Every teenager will go through these issues like I did. But as I’ve got older I’ve gained enough of confidence not to compare myself to others. I’m not gonna change just to fit in. I’m too smart for that. I’m not afraid to be different. It’s other people who should accept me for who I am and how I look like. No one is perfect. Not even the most beautiful.

Beauty doesn’t see age. A beautiful person doesn’t have to be young as Hollywood seems to think. It’s unfair that when men get older it builds character but when women does, their past it. I’m glad I’m not a famous person. I can get old with dignity and not be criticised for the way I look or live. Life is beautiful. What would it be if we all look and felt the same? Young or old and everything in between, the real beauty comes from within.