Tag: about me

Writing 101:Introversion and meeting new people

Mia5 Comments

Today’s Writing 101 is difficult to me. Two reasons. First, I haven’t met anyone new since I have no job and no social life. Secondly, as an introvert, meeting new people is difficult. I just can’t start to talk to people I don’t know. Never have. It takes a while before I warm up to people. I never know what to say. Even a simple ‘Hello’ is a big effort. Living in Finland doesn’t help either. Here when you say ‘Hi’ to strangers, it doesn’t start conversations. You’ll be lucky if you even get a ‘Hi’ back.
When I studied graphic design from 2009 to 2011, I could not get my mouth open to speak. I felt I had nothing in common with my class mates. It didn’t help either that most of them were smokers. The chimney society I could call them. They have their own conversations. They were nice people and I did talk to them. But it just took a while. They were all adults so the atmosphere in the class was good. I didn’t keep in touch with them after the school was finished though. So far they’ve been the best class mates since elementary school.

Another difficult thing about this assignment, is how to describe people. I can describe simple things but when it comes to details, I can’t seem to know how. Of course I don’t have to use fancy words. I’m not an author after all.
I didn’t know how to approach this task. But then I got it. Why not write about people I wish to meet? (and I don’t mean celebrities) I will start to study photography in Helsinki Design School in the Autumn/Fall (you can see the milestone on the side bar on the right of this blog) You never know what kind of people you will meet there. They are all 18 or over, that’s for sure. I hope they are people that respect you the way you are. They don’t judge you about the way you look. Would be better if they don’t smoke. Because no matter how nice they are, that is out of the question. They can be and look like whatever they are. They can be tall, short, blonde, brunettes or redheads, it does not matter. The most important thing is that they motivate you. We will only meet once a month but I hope they are people worth my time. Not to forgetting the teachers. I’m both excited and worried about the school. When I go to a new place, I always think I will be brave. But when the day comes, I just freeze. Things never go the way I think.
I might not become best friends with any of my fellow students. I just hope they accept me the way I am.

Writing 101:God, the serial killer that never gets caught

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Today’s writing 101 is perfect for me. If someone knows about loss, it’s me. It feels like my whole life has been about loss. Nothing is worse than losing a loved one. Going personal now even if this blog is not about that. This will be a difficult task for me to write but I have to do it. So here it goes.

It started in 1983 (soon my age will be revealed :D) I was 6 years old. My big sister had been ill since she was a child but it got worse as she got older. I was so young at the time so I don’t remember much about it. She spent her time in the hospital a lot. That’s one of the reasons I don’t like hospitals. My mother had to stop working to care of her at home. I went to preschool so my mother could concentrate on my sister’s well-being. All I remember her laying on the hospital bed with see-through plastic over her bed and her food didn’t stay inside her stomach her anymore. I don’t exactly know what kind of disease she had. It was something about her immune system.

So on October 26, they called from the hospital that my sister had passed away. I don’t remember how the news was told to me. I asked my mother about it years later. I had been in my bedroom making a box out of Lego and put Lego pieces in it. She asked what I was doing and I asked who will give her food now (or something like that) Just the thought about a 6-year-old wondering about that is heartbreaking. I don’t think I really understood what had happened. That was the first time I knew what loss was. It turned my life completely. I’ve thought about how my life would have been if it things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did. I never talked about my sister because people wouldn’t have understood anyway. I did that a few times and they just felt sorry for me. I just didn’t like the look on their faces. There was an incident in school with a class mate once but my mother never told me what it was even if I asked. I don’t remember any of it. Maybe it was for the better. Growing up without a sibling, takes its toll. I would be a total different person if I had my sister around. She was only 10 and too young to die. I was glad she was my sister.

Even if I’m not religious, I do believe in God. Even if God is the serial killer that never gets caught. He takes people away from you no matter how important they are to you. It doesn’t matter if they’re good, God still punishes you. Maybe there is a reason for it. But it doesn’t stop there. Just when you thought your life is back on track, next thing happens.

To be continued…

Writing 101, Day 1: Unlock the mind

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Unlock the mind you say. You ask for it. Don’t complain if you don’t like it. Yadda yadda in 20 minutes. Yes sir I can boogie. ♫Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear me, Happy birthday to me♫ I feel like Mr Bean. He has no friends either. I buy my own gifts but at least I know what I get. Watched 24 Live another day yesterday. Gosh it’s good. I didn’t even know why Jack Bauer is a traitor. 5 minutes gone.

Then I forgot where it ended last time. It is 4 years ago so how would I have guessed. Jack Bauer I mean. Still with me? They think he tries to kill the president of United States but he just want to save your bloody ass. Don’t they get it, morons. Yesterday the new episode of Game of thrones was shown in the US. I haven’t watched it yet. The same with Halt and catch fire with Lee Pace. How soon I forget. Well it wasn’t on Finnish TV anyway. Internet is the one and only. Soon 10 minutes gone and I’m not even half way. Did I mention Lee Pace. Should I post this entry. I already did post today. It’s my birthday so what a hell. 10 minutes gone.

Tick tack, brain fell a sleep. That’s what you get when you listen to Duran Duran. Love them. That’s enough of that. Are you sleeping or why are you quiet? Oh bloody blog thing. It’s like talking to a wall. Like Twitter and Facebook. But boo, who cares. I was saying. Ok Lee Pace. Why is he in my head? All I need to know. Oh that was a Duran Duran song. The sun is shining. But I hate it when it’s everywhere. In your eyes especially. Who want to read this nonsense. Not so much to write in this 5 minutes. It’s over soon. Fun to read how much crap I wrote. Five more.

Minutes I mean. I forgot what I was talking about. Some people are morons. Like that one idiot putting the light on in the stairs when the sun is shining. Then those idiot parking their cars on the payment. Back to driving school you jackass. There’s a jackass born every minute and a lot of those live in Finland. Finnish idiots. Idiots of the world. Everyone shut up. Especially the idiots downstairs. You call that singing. Ok that Lee Pace went away and the 20 minutes is up. Nice to know you. I’m fading in the shadows in. Like now.