Happy New year but it doesn’t begin like that. As I guessed I didn’t get the job. Typical but it’s their loss. I have a reservation for this kind of things. It’s never nice to be rejected but it’s not up to you if you get the job or not. The final decision is made by the employer. It does make you feel it’s not worth all the efforts. Never forget you’re not alone. A lot of people struggle with the same problems. Even the one who has found success despite being rejected a lot of times. Wham and George Michael come to mind. They sent demos to record companies but no one wanted to sign them. If they had given up, the pop culture would have looked a lot different. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? I don’t think hard work will pay off completely. You also need some luck. Unfortunately, not everyone has it.

I always felt luck has never been on my side. It feels like I’m cursed. I have no luck in loyal friends nor in a job search. But I won’t let that discourage me. It’s really their loss and my gain. I don’t need to get stuck in one place or have the same people around. I am rather alone and that has worked so far. If no one wants to give me a chance, I can always try something else. I want to be a person who can say, I did it despite rejection and you really must lose sleep knowing you could have given me a chance. People always say it’s not healthy to be alone but I don’t agree. It’s unhealthy to be around people who don’t respect you. I’m old enough and experienced enough to know what kind of people I want to be around. I have met a lot of great people but I haven’t kept in touch. I’m not very good at having contact with anyone. I might have got along with them but still, I wasn’t on the same wavelength as them. I need someone who can keep up with my personality. I haven’t met anyone who could. People give up too easily.

I’ve had so much crap thrown at me over the years, it’s no wonder I don’t open up to people easily. My father often says I’m too sensitive but he doesn’t really understand what I’ve gone through. No one can really know how another person feels or think. You can imagine and support that person but their true thoughts are only known to them. I really love the song ‘Wouldn’t be good‘ by Nik Kershaw.  It describes my feelings perfectly. In some ways it’s a sad song but also have some hope. Things might look awful now but in the end, is the grass really greener on the other side? My things could be worse. No one’s life is perfect. Even the successful ones have problems. I rather be who and where I am right now. Things could always be a lot better but there is a time and a place for everything. Patience and motivation to fight on will save the day. Good things come for those who wait.