So here we are again. At my birthday. It’s also a birthday of Prison Break star, Wentworth Miller and actor Zachary Quinto, my birthday twin. I don’t mind having a birthday, it’s the getting older bit that is not so much fun. It means more problems. But I’m not that old though. Age is a number that doesn’t tell you the whole truth. Someone at their 20’s can be as wise as a 40-year-old. Or it can also be the other way around. Young and stupid. It really depends what you’ve been through in your life. If I hadn’t experienced the things I have, I don’t think I would be the way I am today. There are things I haven’t experienced. Like rowing a boat but I fear deep water so I wouldn’t even try it. I haven’t met the people I wanted to meet. To make things short, there is a lot I haven’t done.
Life doesn’t always go as you plan so I stopped planning because it fails anyway. If I have ideas they turn out to be bad. I take the days as they come. I don’t know what I do in 5 years since I don’t even know what I do next week. I have wishes and hopes but I don’t have enough of courage to do them. At least nothing big. Sometimes I hate being so indecisive but I don’t want to think about one thing at a time. I get bored easily so I need stimulation. I wish I was brave enough to get out of the box so to speak. Like trying entrepreneurship. If I don’t do something risky at least once in my life, I will regret it. I don’t want to rush things because then things won’t get rightly done.
So it’s my birthday today. I have never been into parties. Birthdays for me are just that. One year older. This year I baked a cake and going on a cruise with my dad. Daughter and father quality time thing, you know. That’s all the celebration I will have and then go back to normal again. And of course, eat cake. There is no birthday without it.
This Weekly Writing Challenge really is a challenge. I don’t want to reveal too much about myself. I’m still sticking to the “no personal stuff” policy on this blog. So I won’t get into much detail.
Age is a thing I’ve never had any problems with. But it’s the society that seems to have. People expect you to have a family at the age of 30 and a decent job. If you don’t, there must be something wrong with you. I’ve never had a real job (only part-time ones with no real pay), no real relationship nor bought a flat. But it still doesn’t make me a sad person. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only person on earth that doesn’t have enough of experience with anything. It feels like I’m still a teen even if I haven’t been that in years. I’m still young and have a lot of time ahead of me but somehow the society doesn’t see it that way. With society I mean, work places and such.
I still don’t think I have missed anything. I never needed to rebel. I hated parties and people drinking too much. I always thought I was more mature than other people at my age. I don’t envy those with relationship problems or people with kids. I would rather choose freedom than responsibility. That way I’m still a kid at heart.
I never knew what I wanted to be, career wise. Everything seemed to be boring. It took years and years. I’ve tried a lot of things and studied different things but still I have no career. My life seems so boring. What really upsets me it that, when I finally know what I want to do, the society punch me in the face. There is no job and if there is, you need a driver’s license. Or you have to be a student. Of course young people always seems to get internships or part-time jobs. Someone with no job experienced. When I was at that age, I didn’t get that much help. Now there’s all kinds of youth programs that gives young people opportunities to get job experiences. Where were those then?!
If I could turn back time, I would do things differently. But since I can’t, I just have to accept the way things are. All you can do is look forward. In my case, to tomorrow. I wouldn’t want to live forever. There’s enough to tolerate at the present anyway.