My life right now has no direction. Whatever I do or go, it’s a dead end. It’s controlled by the employers and the employment office. Try to align a life when you’re not given a desired direction. I should apply for one job each month, and I’ve done so. But they are open applications, so it’s only a thank you for it, and that’s it. You can’t get a job with that. Not in the line of field I’m in, at least. Maybe if you want to work in a store or a ‘normal’ job like that. It’s challenging to even find a job to apply for. They want people with work experience and with a super portfolio. It makes me feel like a loser, even if I don’t think I am. But that’s what a job search feels like. I don’t think I want to work in a company for several years anyway.
I try to live day by day and wait for the day I know things will happen. Next week it’s the filmmaking course and then later in the summer two pop concerts. There is no point in thinking about things that might not happen. Other people can’t take away the direction I want to go. I don’t want my life to be aligned because that’s boring. Ultimately, I choose in what direction to take my life, and no one can take that away.
Using two different Ragtag Daily Prompt words today. When there are two words that you can have in the subject, you can have them in one post. Life is a labyrinth, but it’s easier to bear with some impetus. I haven’t had much time to blog because of the career coaching. I’ve also been tired to write anything. Actually, I haven’t blogged as much as I did in January. The months go so fast. I have had so many other things on my mind. I have updated my CV and written an open application. I have sent them to two businesses. On Monday I send to another. You never know if you ever get any replies. But at least I’ve done something. Job search is a labyrinth. You may get out of it, or you may not. You just need another plan. I’ve had so many goals in my adult life I don’t know which one this is. Even if I got encouragement on the career coaching course, I still feel there is no impetus inside me. I’m not confident enough I’ll get anything. I might have an OK looking CV and cover letter, but I will probably screw up the job interview if I get one. I’m not gonna think that far. I will see what happens gradually.
Life is about getting through difficult times. During Covid, it has shown who is good at a crisis and who is not. It shows how people behave. Some are probably too dependent on other people, so they can’t take it when they can’t be with their friends. You get mentally stronger when you get through bad times. Life isn’t always fun. People should learn that. Everyone needs alone time no matter what kind of people they are. Get through the labyrinth and find the impetus within you.
My life seems to go around like a carousel—a slow one. At least when it comes to jobs. My birthday was on Wednesday. I only got three congrats on Facebook. But it’s no big deal. I only turned 44. Birthdays are no big deal for me anyway. Unfortunately, age seems to be an issue for some people. I say to those people, talk to the hand. Age is a state of mind.
I have things to do that keeps me occupied, so I don’t have time to think that my life is going around like a carousel. I have that driving lesson thing and the UX/UI design thing. The summer weather is also here, so who has the time to look for a career. I won’t find one either. You can have all the educations in the world, but that doesn’t mean you will find a job. No matter what people claim. You need to have job experiences and a college degree, which I don’t have. Then LinkedIn suggests jobs that I’m certainly not suitable for. Like marketing. I’m not any good at that. Why should I waste time on writing applications to places I won’t get anyway? Am I not taking someone else’s job, someone who has studied the subject? I don’t believe in applying for jobs that I don’t have an education for. They said you should apply for any job, but that’s a waste of time for the applicant and the one who reads the applications. I just become something where there are jobs. I need experience from the occupations I have studied and not experiences from working. I know the rules of working in general.
At the moment I want to concentrate on the current things. Taking baby steps is better than trying to hurry. I don’t mind being in the current carousel of life. Sometimes I wish there could be more, but that feeling is just passing.