Bloganuary: Write about a challenge you faced and overcame

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Day 14. I’ve had a lot of challenges in my life. Most of them are about education. I have studied things I wanted to. The challenge has been how to stay motivated. I always preferred short educations. The longest has been 2 years. Before I applied, I thought it felt long. In fact, it went pretty quickly. Finding friends has never been an easy task for me. That is a challenge in its self. I have a hard time fitting in. Feeling a part of a group and then trying to stay motivated on the education, that is hard. I’ve noticed through the years that being part of something helps to get through a challenge. I overcame the challenge with help from the teachers and the school psychologist I went to. Without that, I probably wouldn’t have passed the education.

I take you back to 2009, when school started. It was a basic examination in graphic design. Photography was also part of it which is the reason I applied. It was in another city, so I lived in a dorm. I didn’t like to live there. There were too many noisy people. I didn’t have any friends to spend the evenings with. My classmates lived at home. I made my own entertainment. I went outside for walks and so on. The problem with my classmates was that most of them were smokers. It’s a bit unfair for those who don’t. Smokers bond, and they get to know each other that way. Smoking is an awful habit, and I would never start to get friends. All I had in common was education. In time, I get to know them. I’m still in contact with one of them on Facebook. They were friendly people, and we did get along fine. I wished they would have been someone who didn’t smoke. Who knows what they talked about on the breaks. The second year was a little better. There were times I thought about quitting because I felt left out. I wasn’t sure I wanted to study the subject after all. But luckily, I did. There were things I wouldn’t have experienced if I had quit. I got an internship in a local newspaper, and we also learned about portfolios. In 2011 the school was over, but I didn’t continue with graphic design until 2018. I was into photography which was the reason why I studied it in the first place. The education was useful in the future.

I’ve had another challenge that I overcame, but it wasn’t as hard as the one above. In 2016, I studied web design. It was for a year. The challenge in that was when the job learning started. We had one in the Autumn and one in the Spring. We had to find clients by ourselves. I thought I wouldn’t have found anyone, but then I did. The first job learning was complex, but the client was very understanding. Coding was complicated for me. I didn’t know if I could finish the project. Even the start was a challenge. The first one wasn’t crucial. It was only practice. The 2nd job learning was more important. We had to have at least 3 clients. I found two in the end. It would be our last assignment which we would present in front of three evaluators. I was really nervous. I don’t like to do presentations. I don’t know how I got through it, but I did. I passed the course, and I didn’t have to do the presentation again. I had experience with clients and project work, so at least I have something to give. It’s a great feeling when you know you faced a challenge and overcame it. You can be proud of yourself, and the next challenge will feel easier.

Advent calendar Box 14

advent calendar 14May the force be with you. I went to see ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi‘ today. The movie series is a legend in itself. This is not a movie review so there won’t be any spoilers. What I will say is, when I saw Carrie Fisher on the screen, I did feel sadness she’s no longer with us. She was a legend and so is Mark Hamill. So it was great to see those two on the screen together for the last time. I really liked the movie. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

The force is real in this life too. It’s the force within you. You can either give up or you can keep fighting to the end. If you give into negative thoughts, you will fall to the dark side. Meaning, you can begin to hate and do awful things to other people because all those negative thoughts had taken over your mind. If you have more positive thoughts, you stay on the good side. You don’t get manipulated easily by negativity. A strong person has good willpower and walks their own path without caring what others might think. A person who has in their own mind been treated wrongly begin to treat others like dirt. But if a person is strong, they understand they can’t change the past. It’s the positive force in you that keep you away from harm.

I think my force within has become stronger. It hasn’t always been like that. There have been times I felt I wasn’t good enough. I still have those moments when everything seems too impossible and I just want to quit. But I haven’t felt desperation. People who have done me wrong haven’t been around in my life for years. The best revenge has been not having any contact with those people. They never did deserve my friendship or any of my time. If life was a movie, I would be a very bad villain. I just wouldn’t care how people have treated me in the past. I would have moved on ages ago. A character like Kylo Ren who hasn’t got away from his past but instead decides to get revenge. That’s a typical villain that you see in movies all the time. If you sink that low, nothing will change. Hate is a wasted feeling which is why I don’t dwell on something that has already happened.

One thing that I will say about ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’. There is no post-credit scene so no need to stay to the end. That was just an observation. May the strong force be within you and be your own legend.

NaBloPoMo15: Introverts and photography

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©Mia Salminen

When I thought about what to write in day 4 of NaBloPoMo, I had nada. Nothing. I’ve written daily before but today it struggled a bit. After surfing the net about other things, I found this blog post about photography and introverts. I thought about myself. It’s exactly like that.

Sometimes I wonder, if photography really is my thing when it come to careers. Like I wrote yesterday (btw, thanks for the likes 🙂 ) I’m an introvert and things are not easy. For starter when I photograph, I usually do it when no one is looking. It’s like I’m ashamed. A lot of other people photograph and they don’t try to hide it. What’s even worse is when you have an assignment to ask people if they could be photographed, I just can’t do it. That’s one of the reason I don’t like taking photos of strangers.

When Princess Victoria of Sweden visited the country in 2011. There was a moment when she stopped where me and mum stood. I was too nervous to take photos. But then again she suddenly appeared quite close so I didn’t have time to react. At least I got one decent one.

Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011
Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011

That’s what I lacked, confidence and boldness. I guess you learn from practise. If I only bothered practising that is. You only become better if you do.

But is it really worth trying if you don’t know of you get better. Even if I know the basics, it just doesn’t stick in my head. Chosing the exposure or shutter speed is a nightmare to me. I get frustrated when I don’t get the result I want. Maybe I’m just not made for becoming a pro. Posting your photos on a blog is a different thing than photographing for a living. It seems to be so much work to get yourself out there. Even if other introverts have made it in the world, doesn’t mean everybody does. As a photographer, you have to stand out but how, that’s another matter.

I’m not only an introvert but also shy and lack of ambitions. That’s the difference between me and that article I mentioned. You hear or read, you can become anything you want as long as you work hard. The only time I worked hard was mental work. It’s not that I haven’t had support. My parents were really good at that. But somehow I’ve just been too sensitive. I just haven’t had the courage to do anything special. I know I can do things but I just don’t know how to do it.

I sound like a jumbled mess in person, but get me in front of a keyboard and my thoughts flow in a far more structured manner.Alethia Rains

Exactly my thoughts. With that, thank you. Over and out.