I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the butterfly effect. I didn’t even know what it was until now. I’m a bit like a hobbit (minus the hairy feet) I’ve never had any adventures nor anything unexpected has happened. At least not anything good. I don’t know if things happens for a reason. Maybe they do.

In which case, you were also meant to have it.
And that is an encouraging thought.
– Gandalf in Lord of the rings

Maybe there was a reason why my sister or my mother died so early. Thinking like that makes it easier to move on. My mother’s death was the hardest thing since I remember it. When my sister died, I was so young. Maybe it was better she died then and not when she became an adult. Then again if she still lived today, my mother’s death wouldn’t have hit so hard. Whatever has happened in the past, maybe it’s God’s way to say, “here’s to another beginning”

That’s one of the reasons I applied to Helsinki Design School to study photography. I wanted a new beginning. Only time will tell if it is worth it. Maybe that’s a butterfly effect. If I didn’t apply to this school, maybe I still would just stay where I am. All those years when I studied different things and wondering what I want to do. I even studied photography before but at the time it didn’t feel right. Maybe those efforts will finally pay off. No one knows what kind of people I’ll meet or places I’ll see.
I just have to be more outgoing, even if it’s not in my nature. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t had enough of courage to do things. Hearing class mates telling about themselves, made me realise how much they’ve already experienced. And most of them are younger than me.
If I didn’t go to this school, I would still think there are no jobs in photography. The teacher we had last time, told us there are. Without that encouragement I would have lost hope.

You should never compare yourself with others. Not everyone needs to go the same path. It’s never too late to experience new things. Age shouldn’t be in the way. I used to think when I get to a certain age, things would change for the worse. Even my mother were worried I was getting too old to get a job. Or at least my options were getting thinner. It might be true. Especially when there’s ageism going around in work places. But that won’t stop me from trying. It’s the work places that are missing a lot. It’s their loss, not mine. Or any job seeker for that matter. The butterfly effect would really be helpful right now.