Some “free writing” Sometimes I wonder why I even bother posting anything on Instagram. It doesn’t matter what I post I get no reaction anymore. It’s doesn’t matter what quality the photos are either. Well, eff you. I rather do something else. It’s a pain to do anything with the tablet I’ve got. I can’t get the whole app to download on my mobile so I scrap the whole thing. They can keep the stupid Instagram. It sucks big time anyway. Even Twitter has become a bore. Especially after they decided to change the whole layout. Their app is crap as well and now they put it on the computer version too.
I don’t know why I bother with anything. Everything goes to death ears. It’s like talking to a wall. At least a wall listens. It feels like everyone hates me and they don’t want me around. But of course, that’s not the truth at all. It just feels like it. I just hate it when I can’t get anyone to get to know me. All the men in this country are idiots too. I’m gonna die alone but I don’t give a damn. It’s like Madonna sings in Express yourself. Let me find the lyrics.
Second best is never enough
You’ll do much better, baby, on your own
Let others waste their time on finding true love from idiots. I’ve got better things to do. Sorry if you don’t agree but that’s how I feel. Feel free to live your life the way you want. That’s not mine. All the good men are taken or they don’t even know I exist. Or they’re famous. I won’t mention who because then you think I’m a fool for liking someone like that. I’m too old to fancy celebs even though I hate that word when it comes to that person. OK, too private.
This free writing should become a habit of mine but not against time. My time would be up ages ago. Free writing means that you write what comes to mind at a certain time. I just can’t type that fast so it takes much longer. My brain works too fast so I don’t have time to write it down. I don’t want to leave write something I don’t know want people to know. That means too personal stuff. What I mean by that you can’t try to figure it out yourself. I won’t give you the answer though. So haha. Smilie here. Or whatever it’s spelt. I don’t have time to check. My program is coming soon so I have to finish this post before that. I have to check out the spelling before I post it.
You can now forget what I wrote in this post in the beginning. That rant is over. It doesn’t take long before I’m over it. I’m not angry for long. At least upset. I don’t know if that’s right English but I have no time to write anything else. So goodbye for now.
Sometimes there’s nothing specific I want to blog about. I don’t know what you think about free writing and do you actually like reading something that doesn’t make any special sense. Anyway, this is free writing and I write what comes to mind. I don’t have specific time. I write as much ideas comes flying in. Randomly we got snow for once. It’s been a strange winter here in the South of Finland. Usually we got more snow but now it’s not the same anymore. I blame climate change. People who doesn’t like snow are probably happy about that. But those people don’t care about the future. They spend natures resources without thinking about the consequences. Or maybe they think like Trump, there’s no such thing as climate change. It must be much better to live in denial than face the facts. But enough about that.
The point in free writing is to write whatever comes to mind. But that’s not always the case. You can’t just write anything. You don’t want to hurt people’s feelings on purpose. I can’t do that. I care about other people’s feelings. My mother taught me that. She taught me a lot of things which is the reason I am what I am. But also because my life hasn’t been perfect. No fairy tales here. It’s been more a struggle than happy moments. I have never had anything special. I don’t do things, I dream. I rather dream then go through difficult relationships or whatever. That’s the reason I want things I can’t have. I rather run than stick around. Emotionally that is. I’m not actually running. I just sit here writing this post. The radio is on and Elton John is on. Someone is cleaning the snow outside. Or whatever it’s in English. In this case I don’t have time to look it up. This is the worse thing about free writing in a foreign language. There are words you don’t know what they are in English. I’m babbling.
I should go to the grocery store. I’m leaving tomorrow to the town I’m studying in. It really sucks when they have change the bus schedule on Monday. No more early mornings. No I have to go to the dorm on a bloody Sunday. My weekends are gonna be really short. I would rather wait until Monday to leave but what can you do. These are times I wish I had a driver’s license because these public transport things are a pain. They have wrapped us around their little finger. These are things that are out of your control and you just have to accept that. The town I’m going to is a small place and it’s in the middle of nowhere. At least you can walk to the center. Luckily this education is ending in May but still a long way to go.
Where is this blog going to? It’s not going anywhere? It’s a blog. Not funny. I can’t write funny things. People see me as a serious person. I don’t crack jokes. I understand humour but I’m not funny. Some says women are not suppose to be funny. But that’s where they are wrong. Ellen (you know who) for example is really funny. She’s one of my heros but so is a lot of women. Strong women who don’t give a damn about what other’s think of them. My all time favorite is Madonna. She’s still cool. I follow her on Facebook and she was voted, the woman of the year. She does a lot of good things. Especially for kids. She was one of the first woman who showed the pop world that no matter what race or sexuality you are, you have the right to be here. Other woman I admire is Pink. I follow her a Twitter. She’s got attitude and tell the haters where to get off. Her family is so precious too. The world needs strong women like that. There’s enough of airheads already who can’t do anything for this world. They just shake their asses on hip hop videos or date famous people. And no I’m not talking about Taylor Swift. I don’t listen to her music but I think she’s misunderstood. She’s no airhead. At least that’s what she seems like. She does give money to charity and cares about others. But enough about her.
This free writing is kind of fun but times is out. This post could get very long if I continue. I try to make blog posts short because that’s what I like to read. I never have patience enough to read something off a screen. Ouch my eyes. If I read books I would rather read from a real one and not a screen. There was a lot of subjects in this post. I hope someone at least bother to read to the end. I say goodbye for now so
I write because it’s fun. Writing is like breathing. Without breathing you can’t live. Writing is also good therapy. It’s also easier to express my thoughts. If I talk to someone I always think first what to say. When I write things I have time to think. In a conversation you might forget what you were suppose to say and when the situation is over, it’s too late. It happens too often. That’s also an introversion thing. It always feels weird when I have to start conversations. When I write, thing go the way I’ve planned it.
I couldn’t never make blogging a living. I’m not good enough to give advice. I’m the one who needs advice. It would be too difficult to think every day what to write. I write when I feel like it. I’m not good at keeping up a schedule when it comes to writing. I couldn’t be an author either even if I’ve always been good at writing fiction. Speaking of that. I love writing fan fiction. It’s also a great escape from reality. You need to live in another world for a while. Especially when bad things are happening in the real world.
When I was younger I had diaries. I didn’t write anything secret. Unless you mean crushes on pop stars. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If someone found my diaries and read them, I wouldn’t care. I’ve read them and it’s more of, what was I thinking, kind of things. But nothing I feel ashamed of. If I was famous, tabloids they would be very disappointed. There’s nothing there that would destroy my career. If I had one that is.
I started writing at 7 years but then it was only a few sentences. Like I said before in this post, writing is like breathing to me. The same with music and photography. I just can’t live without them. I have to get my thoughts out of my head and writing is better than keep it all inside. You don’t have to be a great writer to write. It doesn’t even have to be published anywhere. As longs as you write, that’s all that matters. That’s how I survive from depression. I feel down at times but I’m lucky I don’t suffer from it. I could never put myself in someone elses shoes but I can be there for the person who does have it bad.
These are the reasons why I write. If someone said I should stop writing, I should say, stop breathing. I’ll write until I can’t no more. It’s my life and you should do what you like with yours. Do what you love and don’t let other people spoil your mood.