Tag: job search

A static 2018

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holly hunter quote

The quote by actress Holly Hunter (e.g. The Piano) describe my life in general perfectly. It seems every other year I have something to do but then there are years, I’m quite busy. 2018 seems to be one of those quiet years. It feels my life is static most of the time. So far I’ve got one job interview and applied to a course that I didn’t get into. It’s still early though but if you don’t start something in the beginning of the year, the rest of it nothing much will happen. I don’t know where I have got that from. Maybe it was my mother who said it or maybe it’s some kind of new year curse. I couldn’t find anything about it on the internet. But it seems to be true in my case. If I’ve done something in the beginning of the year, the rest won’t be uneventful.

Last year I had that web design education but now I have nothing. I have applied to another course but it’s too early to say if I get in. It’s the same one I mentioned in this post. It’s an entrepreneurial training. I’m getting bored of searching for jobs in the opening market. All the most interesting jobs are in Helsinki but I don’t want to move anywhere. The requirements for the jobs are also so far for my abilities. If I get an interview I probably fail in that too. I just don’t want to go through that whole process of job search. Also, the job titles are misleading. You see web designer but they still want someone who’s a developer. It’s too advantages for my skills. There is so much fuss when it comes to job search. No one said it’s easy. If it was everyone in the world would have a job. I think employers are too strict about who they should hire. It seems you need to be a perfect employee to get hired. Young and beautiful with 30 years of experience. Even worse, being outgoing and social. And they said to me in the job centre once that my wishes are unrealistic. Well, who has unrealistic wishes then the employers themselves?

I should look forwards but it’s difficult to keep up the motivation when you get nothing in return. I don’t want unnecessary excitement but at least I don’t want a static one. I need to get out of my comfort zone but I’m just too afraid to do it. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve indecisive about what I want to do. There are so many possibilities so it’s even harder to decide. I don’t envy young people who have so many choices to choose from. Lucky are the ones who know what they want since they were kids. There are things I wish I could have done earlier but you can’t go back to the past. I live in the now and like I said, 2018 has only started and nothing is certain in this life, except death. Everyone should keep the faith and I do.

 

Their loss my gain

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foggy tarmac road

Happy New year but it doesn’t begin like that. As I guessed I didn’t get the job. Typical but it’s their loss. I have a reservation for this kind of things. It’s never nice to be rejected but it’s not up to you if you get the job or not. The final decision is made by the employer. It does make you feel it’s not worth all the efforts. Never forget you’re not alone. A lot of people struggle with the same problems. Even the one who has found success despite being rejected a lot of times. Wham and George Michael come to mind. They sent demos to record companies but no one wanted to sign them. If they had given up, the pop culture would have looked a lot different. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? I don’t think hard work will pay off completely. You also need some luck. Unfortunately, not everyone has it.

I always felt luck has never been on my side. It feels like I’m cursed. I have no luck in loyal friends nor in a job search. But I won’t let that discourage me. It’s really their loss and my gain. I don’t need to get stuck in one place or have the same people around. I am rather alone and that has worked so far. If no one wants to give me a chance, I can always try something else. I want to be a person who can say, I did it despite rejection and you really must lose sleep knowing you could have given me a chance. People always say it’s not healthy to be alone but I don’t agree. It’s unhealthy to be around people who don’t respect you. I’m old enough and experienced enough to know what kind of people I want to be around. I have met a lot of great people but I haven’t kept in touch. I’m not very good at having contact with anyone. I might have got along with them but still, I wasn’t on the same wavelength as them. I need someone who can keep up with my personality. I haven’t met anyone who could. People give up too easily.

I’ve had so much crap thrown at me over the years, it’s no wonder I don’t open up to people easily. My father often says I’m too sensitive but he doesn’t really understand what I’ve gone through. No one can really know how another person feels or think. You can imagine and support that person but their true thoughts are only known to them. I really love the song ‘Wouldn’t be good‘ by Nik Kershaw.  It describes my feelings perfectly. In some ways it’s a sad song but also have some hope. Things might look awful now but in the end, is the grass really greener on the other side? My things could be worse. No one’s life is perfect. Even the successful ones have problems. I rather be who and where I am right now. Things could always be a lot better but there is a time and a place for everything. Patience and motivation to fight on will save the day. Good things come for those who wait.

Advent calendar Box 20

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advent calendar 20

Day 20 comes and I bring you good news when it comes to job search. I got a job interview! It’s in Helsinki so I need to travel for it. It could have been handled through Skype but I never used it. It’s better to meet face to face. This a great Christmas present. I don’t even mind now I didn’t get chosen to Helsinki Design School to study graphic design. A job is what I need.

I have never had a job interview in the ordinary sense. I’ve been to interviews but they’ve been for study or course. It’s easy now to be prepared but when it comes to the real thing, I might screw up. Just getting an interview is great. Even if I don’t get chosen, I can still learn from it. It’s not every day you get one. Especially if jobs in web design is limited. The job is only 7 months but that’s enough for me. Getting an interview is one thing but getting the job is another. No matter how much I prepare, it never goes the way I planned it. I might forget everything that I thought of or my answers are too short. I shouldn’t be obsessed about this. I should just go there confident. If I start to think too much, then it makes me more nervous.

Web design really is my so-called calling and I want to work with it in the future. Design in general. Getting this job interview gives me hope for 2018. This year I went through a lot but next year it really should happen something on the job front. If I won’t get it, I need another plan. But I definitely won’t give up. I’ve had enough of unemployment. When you have a job you don’t need to fight with the jobcentre and you don’t need to apply for social benefits. However, the next goal is to get through the job interview and worry about other things later.