Tag: job search

I got an instinct feeling

MiaLeave a comment

You can call feelings anything you want but I call it instinct. I mostly do things by following my instincts. It’s a reason why I do things slowly. Feelings does have something to do with it though. For example, I got a feeling things won’t go the way they should but it’s also an instinct that it’s actually gonna happen. It doesn’t have to be anything bad. Maybe it’s telepathy but sometimes I thought the same thoughts my parents had. Especially with my mother. We could have said something out loud, the other had thought about. It’s kind of strange but I guess it’s a family thing.

Everyone goes through what they want to do when they grow up. Choosing the right career is easier than for some. You neither follow your heart or your head but I follow my instinct. I know what suits me and what I like to do. But finding it in the real world is difficult. There’s always something in the way and then I give up. What is the point of trying, if your instinct says it’s not the way to go? Sometimes I tell it to shut up but it doesn’t listen. I don’t have the guts to continue pursuing my dreams. You shouldn’t give up, just because someone says you can’t, right? I like being in my comfort zone. I wish I could be braver but when I try, I get back to my shell. I’m surprised I haven’t become a total loner who lives away from society. I don’t know how I can succeed in anything that contains human beings. I’m good with people as long as I don’t have to interact with them. That doesn’t go very well with the education I have chosen.

I probably have to think things through once again. I don’t seem to find my place in anything. My instinct is being really negative. These days you have to advertise yourself, making a brand. For a person like me, it’s not the easiest job. When I read experiences from others about what kind of degrees they have and everything there is to do, they still have no job. What if I become one of those? Education of different kinds and still no one hires you. That’s a destiny no one wants to be in. If you become self-employed, you need to do everything yourself. If I find it hard to find clients now when I study, I wonder how it’s gonna be in real life. I don’t dare to think. I don’t have a social circle and not much luck with anything really. One thing I do have, is support. From my father and friends online. Without that, I would be miserable. My instinct says I should be patient and that’s what I’m gonna be.

 

 

A simple life?Yeah right

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selfiefeet

Why are things made so difficult? Why can’t this life be a simple one? Even on WordPress, you need to click several times to get to the dashboard. It was so much better before. I like simple things. What I learned in the web design education, a visitor shouldn’t need to click and search for things on a web site and that’s what WP is doing. Going to the Reader should be under one click like it was before. Now you need to click twice to get somewhere. But you get used to things but yet it should be done as simply. When I make web sites I do them as simple as possible. You can still have a great web site even if it looks simple.

If you apply for a job, you have to convince others that you’re good enough to be chosen. But that’s not good enough. You need all these diplomas and degrees to show that you can do something. It’s not enough that you tell and show them what you’re good at. Of course there are others who apply for the job too. A person who does have all these degrees probably can’t do the job but yet they get it. It shouldn’t be so difficult. You’re good at something and boom you’re hired. But they want to do things the hardest way. I could do a lot of different jobs but I still can’t find anything. Before you could just walk in to a company to ask for a job but now you have to send applications. That’s another difficult thing to do. Why can’t it be anything simple instead?

Nothing is free. You have to work to get somewhere in life. You live and learn. The older you get, more difficult it is. Learning new things at 16 and learning at 40 something is totally different. It take much longer but you can still learn. If things were simple, anyone could do it. I used to hate to going the unemployment center and other places like that. I was always so nervous so I kept going through my head what could go wrong. I wish it would have been easier for me but I made it much worse than it was. Now you don’t have to go anywhere and I wish there was internet when I was younger. Everything is online but it’s not simple there either. You need to sign in and remember passwords. You can’t have simple words because of security reasons.

Why is it so hard to write a blog post? I had ideas to write this but when I started writing, all the ideas disappeared. I want a simple mind but instead I get distracted by something else. Sometimes I wish I had a one-dimensional brain so I could stick one road of thoughts. Some have a train of thought. I have a road. It goes straight but sometimes I get sidetracked. I can listen to a person and then I start to think about something else during a conversation. I’ve worked on that for years. It got better as I got older but I still notice I lose interest after a while. My life has never been simple and I think the reason is that I made it difficult. Life is what you make it and something simple can feel harder than it is. At least I manage to do simple things some people can’t.

 

Tallenna

Tallenna

Give me at least one tiny chance

Mia2 Comments

tiny statueIt seems I never get even tiny chances in anything. If it’s a chance to get someone to like you romantically or getting an internship in a company. The latter is the most important thing. I don’t seem to get any foot between any door. No matter how many times I send applications or ask through email, I never get any replies. We are supposed to find a client or an internship in a company in our web design education which begins November 14 and is to December 11, 2016. I have no luck to find anything. Even social media hasn’t helped. I’m probably the only one in my class without anything. Maybe web design is just not my thing after all. I don’t even think I could make any sites without help. I already struggle with it. If I can’t make one to myself, how can I make for someone else? That’s the reason why I would prefer a company where they make web sites. It seems I never even have a tiny chance. It’s hard to keep up the motivation when I feel like I can’t do anything.

These are times I wonder what’s wrong with me. Why doesn’t anyone give me a tiny chance in anything? Am I too ugly to get hired? I have studied different things but it’s not appreciated enough it seems. Maybe I’m just not good at explaining things. I’ve been on job search courses but those were no help. It doesn’t matter what kind of advice you get, they won’t work. If they work, it happens to other people. Luck doesn’t seem to find me. I have skills but only I seem to know that. It’s not my fault I’m being overlooked. A lot of other people are too so I’m not alone with this problem. I’m old enough and confident enough to know it’s not me, it’s them. The only fight I’m gonna have is with myself.

Tiny things won’t let me down. I’ve learned to enjoy the small things in life. I love walking through fallen leaves. I love the rain. I don’t care if it’s dark outside. I put my rubber boots on and take my umbrella to take a walk. I jump in the puddles like little kids do. In the winter if there’s snow I take long walks. I don’t mind the cold. That’s what warm clothes are for. I take some snow and try to make a ball. I throw it away and maybe I hit a tree. That’s what life is for. Why do adults stop doing these things? You’re never too old. It’s only stuck up people who thinks so and there’s a lot of those people.
I love writing fan fiction. I won’t stop just because someone doesn’t like them. I’m not the best writer out there but that’s not the reason I do it. I write them because it gives me a chance to escape the world for a while. Sometimes I’m so into them, I forget the time. I hate to stop when the words are flowing. When inspiration struck, you don’t want to stop or you have to catch the train of thought again.

Always do what you love the most. That’s how I go by. Tiny stuff but big thoughts. Life would be empty without them.