Tag: job search

Focused on many things

Mia1 Comment

clockworkSo many choices so little time. I’ve got a concentration span of a teenager. I can focus on one thing for a while but then I get bored. I’ve got a lot of different interests and I’m focused on many things. That’s one of the reasons why I find it hard to concentrate on one thing only. I couldn’t write about the same subject on this blog for example. The same goes with everything I do and like. Versatility is the key to my happiness.

When I thought about occupations when I was younger everything seemed so boring. For some, office jobs can be suitable but for me, I would get bored. I could do it for a while but not as a full-time job. Creativity has always been my thing. I can’t draw very well but I can do other things. I studied graphic design but I wasn’t very rich of ideas and I didn’t want to do it full-time. Then came photography and that was on my agenda for a long time. When I studied in Helsinki Design School, I realised I don’t want to do it all the time either. This year it was the web designer qualification. I have all these education experiences but employers care more about work experiences which I don’t have. I have a big cap in that. Last time I was anywhere was in 2012 and that wasn’t for very long. How impressive that is. Not. It makes me feel like I’m the most untalented designer out there. I can’t even call myself that. I know now what I want to do. I want to combine all three, photography, graphic design and web design. I just lack work experience. But I’m no Picasso of modern design. I’m not award winning or anything special. The competition out there is so much better than I’ll ever be.

I’m really putting myself down with this post. But I have to face the fact that I might never get a chance. I’m too unmotivated when it comes to practising. Just like any other creative jobs, to get better is to practice. I’m too lazy to do it. I plan in my head but they never come true. I should really be more focused but it’s hard to since I get distracted easily. It’s easier to watch something online or write fan fiction, then actually doing some personal design projects. I see other people’s work on Behance and think I can never become that good. You’re supposed to get inspiration from others but it just puts me down. I look at job descriptions in ads and it always contains things I can’t do. There’s no point of applying because I know I have no chance. Becoming a freelancer is also so much work so I don’t know if I can’t do it either.

There are times where I’ve lost all hope. Maybe I should become an office worker after all. When I think about my options in other occupations, I much prefer being on the creative side. I rather have a job I like then being in a job I hate. Focusing on something you like is so much easier. Design jobs are not all about having fun but it’s more enjoyable than an ordinary one.

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Learning as in educate

Mia1 Comment

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It feels like I’m the most educated person at my age in the world. Educate yourself they say and it will open doors for you in the working world. That’s a lot of nonsense. It might work for some but not for me. Sometimes it’s frustrating to have all these educations and not get anywhere. Maybe I’ve been too passive when it comes to job search. But I have standards and maybe too picky. I think it’s a waste of time sending applications to a lot of companies. I rather find a job where I have a better chance. I can’t do any job either. Like a cleaner because of the strong detergents. It has taken me years to find out what I really want to do. When I finally have, I can’t find a job in that field.

My resume is full of educations and only internships. It’s a bit of an embarrassment, to be honest. Employers look at job experiences but mine is a joke. When I was a teenager, summer jobs didn’t interest me. I rather have a holiday than work somewhere. I should have listened to my mother but I was too inefficient. Now I have to pay the price. If there’s something in my life that I regret, it’s that one. I helped dad in his company but that was just pocket money so you can’t really count that as a work experience. It would be easier to be self-employed so you wouldn’t have to go through the job search process. But being a freelancer also has its disadvantages. All I know is, I don’t want to be out of work the rest of my life.

If someone dared to suggest I should go to school again, I would give that person the evil eye. I’m up to my ears with educations. I want to put my learning into action. I need a real job and not another education. I always knew what kind of job I want to do but I have never known what profession. When I chose what I wanted to study, they’ve always been creative. I thought I would get paid for being creative but so far none. I can’t really call myself anything. I have both basic examination in graphic design and vocational examination in web design, plus a degree in photography. I have learned all the basics in school so I don’t need to educate in any school. But the problem with having a creative job is that there’s always someone better than you. There’s no use of a certificate if you’re not good enough to get paid.

You can learn new things without having to go to school. There are different ways to educate yourself. I learn easier in practice than reading from a book. That’s one of the reasons why I never went to high school. That’s only voluntary in Finland. In school, you only get the basics. It’s in real life you learn the best. Through experience, you get better and that’s the best education you can ever get.

Unfurl the white flag

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unfurl flowerNever give up, they say. But I’m about to unfurl the white flag. Before someone starts to worry, I don’t mean life. Things are not that bad. I have things to live for. When it comes to finding something to fill life with, that’s where my patience is failing. Life can’t be only about eating, sleeping and sit in front of the computer. It’s been summer and I’ve just had a lot of free time on my hands. But I have deserved a break after all that studying I did. The older you get, the more exhausting studying is. Even a short holiday is good for you. I went with my dad to Stockholm last weekend. It was rainy days with some sunshine. I slipped on stairs to a bathroom and hurt my right arm but luckily it’s back to normal. That was enough of excitement for the whole year. It scared the hell out of me when I got hurt. Abroad and a broken arm, no fun. I was so relieved nothing serious happened. I couldn’t bend the arm for a day or two. Being right-handed it would have been a disaster if it had been longer. After an experience like that, you need another break but summer is over soon.

I should get something to do in the Autumn. Soon I’ll forget what I’ve learned in web design. That’s what the white flag is for. I’m lost of hope of finding a job in the open market. They always require skills I don’t have. I could be an intern in some company but I’ve only had those and not a job that pays. When I search for the keyword “Web Designer” online, I get “Web Developer” It’s not really the same thing. I haven’t developed anything. At the moment ‘Web Designer’ is only a title. Maybe I’m modest but I don’t feel like one. Actually, I don’t feel like I’m anything. Last time I designed a website was in school. But I did that for free and it was easier to find a client. Now I’m in the real world and I have to do real work. I don’t know what I’m afraid of if I become self-employed. There’s the money issue and the other is networking. I’m not very good at valuing how much something costs either. Everything seems so complicated. If would be easier to work for someone else. But if there’s no job out there, maybe I just have to do it the hard way.

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna