Boring job interview

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Maybe people find my blog posts about job search boring or uninteresting, but I write them anyway. This is not really about a job search. It’s about job interviews that I only get one every 5 years. I never know what to say in the questions they ask. I wish I had a fast mind, so I could answer questions without having a pause. I want to do a boring job interview that you can’t do in a real interview. These are questions they might ask. The answers are not what I would say in a real interview. Just wanted to repeat that.

Question: Tell me about yourself
Answer: Um, well, I’m human. I breathe, I eat, I sleep, I fart, I hear, I smell. And meh, I’m bored—next question.

Q: Why are you interested in working for this company?
A: I don’t know. I won’t get it anyway. You’re probably already bored with me.

Q: Can you describe your strengths?
A: No, I should think about it for a few weeks. Can I get back to you? 

Q: What are some of your weaknesses?
A: Answering these questions. Only finding my weaknesses.

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?
A: Alive, hopefully. I don’t even know what I do after this interview.

Q: Why should we hire you?
A: I don’t know. I’m nice. I do my work as good as I can.

Q: What do you consider to be your biggest professional achievement?
A: Have you seen my resume? I don’t even have a career, thanks to employers who don’t want to hire me because I don’t have enough experience.

Q: Why are there gaps in your resume?
A: I’ve studied duh. It’s none your business why the reason is. I haven’t been lazy, that’s for sure.

Q: What are your salary expectations?
A: As long as I don’t become poor. How much do you want to pay me?

Q: What is your greatest achievement?
A: Getting this interview for starters. I’m still alive.

These are tough questions. You never know what they interviewers want to hear. That’s the reason why I fail at job interviews. Not knowing what to say. If the interviews were written down, it could be easier to answer them. But the companies are too busy to find an employee, so they don’t have time for a “slow” person like me. I already fail at cover letters and even finding something to apply to. I would be fortunate if I even got a job interview. I wouldn’t get the job anyway.

Your consult is an insult

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I don’t know how many times I’ve been to these job search courses. They’ve been quite useless. *But at least I have something to do. Like I don’t have anything else in my jobless life*. Quite frankly, their consulting is insulting. You don’t get a job; they do. They give you advice on what to do to find a job, but that doesn’t work. You must be someone special to get attention. If you don’t have an impressive resume, you don’t even get a chance. I’ve also been to a career coaching course, but I found the web design education through that one. I haven’t had much use to that school, though. Real-life has been totally different. No one wants to hire someone who hasn’t got work experience. This whole “go to a job search and doors will open” is full of it. Sound bitter? I bet I am, but some people have been to courses like that, and all they did were playing some kids games. I have got at least something out of it. I know what kind of job I want to do.

I still haven’t got a job despite that. I just don’t have anything to offer. I don’t have any marketing value, or whatever you call it. I’m a ‘boring’ person. I don’t know how to brand myself. I also lack job experience. That’s probably one of the reasons. The second is job interviews. Trying to teach me to be better at it doesn’t work. They never go as I’ve planned it. I always forget what to say to the answers to the questions. No matter how I prepare, they just don’t work. In job search tips, people forget that you need to have something on your resume. You can’t just make it pretty if you have nothing to show for it. I also hate writing cover letters. I never know what to put in them. Finnish is also not my strongest language either. Then again, I don’t know what to write them in any language. Finding a job in a creative business is even harder. There you need to have some kind of skill. You also need a few years of experience. I’ve been to job fairs, but there is never any creative businesses there.

There are many different ways to search for a job. The most overrated platform there is, and that’s LinkedIn. I don’t know for who it’s meant for. ‘Look at me’ – types, ‘Look at my company’ -types or for who? It’s not for ordinary job seekers, that’s for sure. There are consults about how to get ‘noticed’ on LinkedIn too. Personally, I find it useless, and when I go there, I only want to give it the finger. I’ve decided I will only keep it for my own good—a reminder to myself what I have done so far. For job search, it’s only crap.

I just don’t fit anywhere. I can’t find a place where I have the same values, or I’m just too introverted. You have to be outgoing and this and that. I’m too old to get a job I have no education for. I wouldn’t get one of those anyway. I want a job I know something about. I know I’ve studied the “wrong” occupation, and I can blame myself for that (I’m not really). But I rather am unemployed than be in a job I hate. At least I can do what I want. Besides, of this covid still being around, I want to stay away from unnecessary social events. I have so many other things to think about, so I don’t have time to stress about my job search right now. I want to concentrate on driving school first.

*Sarcasm

From school assignments to the real world

Made in Canva

When you study something, you might think the real world is as easy. But in school, you get assignments made up by someone else. In real life, you have to make them up yourself. That’s the hard part. Especially when you only starting out you don’t have much to show. Only an assignment you had in school. I doubt you can get hired by only having those. If it was, I would probably have something already. Or maybe not. Who knows really.

Soon it’s been 2 years since I studied graphic design and 4 since web design. Not very impressive since I haven’t done much since then. Especially web design. When you see job adverts for web design jobs, it’s always something technical which is something we didn’t have that much of. It’s quite wrong to be called web designer when it’s actually called web developer. That’s something they didn’t teach in school. Even in school, I didn’t like coding. It’s like Math which is my weakest subject. It just requires too much difficult kind of thinking. I can do things with free themes, but I can’t do a whole website from scratch. I tried in school, but it was too stressful. I’ve thought about only having graphic design and photography in my services. It would mostly be about digital content. At first, I thought I would also have web design with WordPress but apparently making sites from finished themes are not recommended. It’s understandable because themes are updated, and then the job has gone to waste. It’s also a turn-off when employers only search for experienced designers, and they should know a lot about coding. And then it’s web developers and not web designers.

They should teach kids in school that the real world is different. You don’t know what you want to be when you grow up at 16. You can change your mind later. Maybe the profession you chose in your youth is not the right one for you, but you only realize it when you’re getting older. You can change careers any time you want. Today there are no jobs where you are for 30 years and then retire. When I was younger, I thought you needed to educate yourself to one profession and stick with it. But it wasn’t so at all. I don’t want to be one of those who stay in one profession and then, later on, discover you didn’t want to do it after all. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I have studied so many different things. Some might have had jobs during their education, but I couldn’t do it. I wanted to concentrate on my studies and have some free time too. So now I only have internships on my resume, and that’s apparently not good enough. At least I have something and too bad it’s not appreciated among others. Luckily there are other ways to get a job. It’s just a matter of courage to get things started. That is an assignment to do next.