Tag: Life

An ordinary childhood turned to tears

Mia4 Comments
two girls from the back
Pixabay

I had an ordinary childhood. We were a 4 member family who lived in an apartment building. We went on trips, had birthday parties, had friends, spent time with grandmothers, had disagreements and so on. We didn’t have any pets since my sister was allergic. It was a good childhood for me. But things wouldn’t stay the same. We as a family had to go through a tough period which is something not everyone has to go through. One part of my childhood ended in tears. My sister got sick and she was only 10 years old. Life wasn’t the same after that. My mother took care of her. We spent a lot of times in the hospital which is the reason I don’t like them to this day. I was only 6 years old so I don’t remember much. I remember bits of it. Some of the hospital visits and when she was home. Also something about her last days or so. One memory of it was that she couldn’t swallow food anymore so she had to be fed through a tube. I can imagine how my parents felt for losing their child like that. Seeing a loved one fade away is the hardest thing. No one should go through it.
We went to Europe after she passed away to recover. We were somewhere in Austria when the head of my doll fell off and I cried like it had been a real person. I think that was my way of mourning even if I didn’t know it at the time. I remember it like it was yesterday. The head of the doll was put back on so that wasn’t a serious “injury”

When you go through this kind of things in your childhood, it affects the rest of your life. When other have problems with their siblings, I think, at least they got one. They don’t know how it feels like to grow up without one. I’m sure I would have been a totally different person if my sister was still alive. On the other hand, if I wouldn’t have gone through it, I couldn’t sympathise with someone who’s lost a loved one the same way I do now. You learn that life is not always they way you want it to be. Nothing shouldn’t be taken granted. All you can do is grow as a human and enjoy all the small things life gives you.

I’m glad I had a childhood. There are children who have it worse. Today they have to grow up faster and that causes problems. Kids should have the right to play outside without having to carry their smartphones with them. It seems modern technology has made people lazy and it’s infecting the kids too. I played outside a lot when I was a kid. Today parents are worried something will happen to their children so they don’t let them go anywhere alone. But it is understandable because the world is not as safe as it was when I was a kid. I wouldn’t want to be one now. My childhood was safe. The first time I went to the store by myself, I was only 3 years old. I could only carry one milk carton though 😀 You couldn’t let someone that young go anywhere alone today. Even though my childhood turned to tears, it was still a happy time. I’m still here and I survived. That’s what matters the most.

Life has its ups and downs. Like in ‘Rollercoaster‘ by Bon Jovi. Life is a rollercoaster and not a merry-go-round. I like the latter better because drama makes life stressful when there’s a lot of that. Would be nice to have something good once in a while but you have to deal with the cards you get. It’s all the small things that make life worth living and that’s something everyone deserves to know.

Accept me for what I am

Mia2 Comments
elephant toy at a window
Nori watching the rain

Being a teenager is not easy. You get easily sensitive about your appearance and other people’s opinions. You have so many different issues about everything in your life, it feels overwhelming. What’s even harder is trying to get acceptance from others. Some people wants you to be like them and you try hard to impress them. There’s stress about what you want to do for a living. These days it’s more difficult since there’s so much to choose from. Then you read magazines or blogs where they tell you what’s you should do. All kinds of tips about how to lose weight or what to wear. If you’re not acting the same way as everybody else, you lose confidence and try to fit it. In the end, it doesn’t matter what others think. You should accept who you are. You know yourself best and who are others to judge.

I’ve been there. I’ve been worried what others think of me. I didn’t like people looking at me because I thought they thought something negative about me. I wouldn’t want to go back to my teens. I prefer being older and wiser. People should accept me for what I am because I won’t become someone else. Pretentious people are the worse. They pretend to be nice and friendly but they’re actually trying to make a fool of you. Those popular people kids in school who got a lot of friends and dated a lot of people. They never had a bad skin or got heavy. They always looked perfect. It was all a shell with no personality. You still see teens dress the same way and listen to the same kind of music. Nothing has changed and probably never will. Now they have the internet where they can bully people all day without getting caught. I’m glad there weren’t social media when I was a teen. I had a childhood and teenhood without extra pressure.

I’ve always had an own mind. You can call it stubborn. I never do things with force. If you tell me to do something, I won’t do it to please you. I do it with my own time. It’s different if it’s an important job to do. The person I am in my free time is different from the working one. I’m a Gemini which has a lot to do with it I guess. I don’t understand why someone says I’m quiet. I’m not. I just don’t talk nonsense. Some people talk too much so I don’t get a word in. Then they wonder why I don’t say much. That’s weird. But they can say what they want. I am what I am and I accept myself the way I am. I’ve come this far in life and won my so- called demons. I don’t care about what others think of me and I won’t get upset if someone tries to hurt my feelings. It’s better to be alone than be with someone who can’t accept me. You’re supposed to wear whatever others are wearing and act like any other but I don’t want to be like anyone. That’s the problem with the world. You should be yourself and yet you shouldn’t show it to others. Where’s the logic in that?

When I read about job searching and how to get hired. It always says, in 5 minutes you have to impress the employer. I’m sorry but you don’t know anything about how I am after such a short time. I really dislike the first impression thing. I’m not good at it at all. I don’t talk to people I don’t know and I won’t try to be something I’m not. They probably think they have an impression of me as soon as I enter the room. No matter how I prepare for social gatherings, I still get tongue-tied. It’s like my mind become empty and all my courage is gone. And I still get called quiet. If I was, I wouldn’t talk in a week. I don’t love my voice that much that I want to talk all the time. Talking too much is stressful and your throat gets dry. Wasting your energy on boring subjects is time-consuming and I rather be doing something more productive. That’s one of the reasons why I would be a good employee, I don’t waste time on gossiping.

Everyone have the right to be what they want to be and with anyone they want. It’s up to the person to learn that there’s always gonna be people who have negative thoughts. People fear things they can’t understand. You don’t have to change for anyone. Don’t take things personally. It’s not you, it’s the other person who has issues. You get more confidence when you get older. Things happen for a reason. If I hadn’t gone through what I have been through, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Bad people shouldn’t control our lives. Keep your chin up and try to ignore whatever is thrown at you. Accept yourself for who you are and nothing will be in the way of your happiness.

(grammar checked with Grammarly)

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

A simple life?Yeah right

MiaLeave a comment

selfiefeet

Why are things made so difficult? Why can’t this life be a simple one? Even on WordPress, you need to click several times to get to the dashboard. It was so much better before. I like simple things. What I learned in the web design education, a visitor shouldn’t need to click and search for things on a web site and that’s what WP is doing. Going to the Reader should be under one click like it was before. Now you need to click twice to get somewhere. But you get used to things but yet it should be done as simply. When I make web sites I do them as simple as possible. You can still have a great web site even if it looks simple.

If you apply for a job, you have to convince others that you’re good enough to be chosen. But that’s not good enough. You need all these diplomas and degrees to show that you can do something. It’s not enough that you tell and show them what you’re good at. Of course there are others who apply for the job too. A person who does have all these degrees probably can’t do the job but yet they get it. It shouldn’t be so difficult. You’re good at something and boom you’re hired. But they want to do things the hardest way. I could do a lot of different jobs but I still can’t find anything. Before you could just walk in to a company to ask for a job but now you have to send applications. That’s another difficult thing to do. Why can’t it be anything simple instead?

Nothing is free. You have to work to get somewhere in life. You live and learn. The older you get, more difficult it is. Learning new things at 16 and learning at 40 something is totally different. It take much longer but you can still learn. If things were simple, anyone could do it. I used to hate to going the unemployment center and other places like that. I was always so nervous so I kept going through my head what could go wrong. I wish it would have been easier for me but I made it much worse than it was. Now you don’t have to go anywhere and I wish there was internet when I was younger. Everything is online but it’s not simple there either. You need to sign in and remember passwords. You can’t have simple words because of security reasons.

Why is it so hard to write a blog post? I had ideas to write this but when I started writing, all the ideas disappeared. I want a simple mind but instead I get distracted by something else. Sometimes I wish I had a one-dimensional brain so I could stick one road of thoughts. Some have a train of thought. I have a road. It goes straight but sometimes I get sidetracked. I can listen to a person and then I start to think about something else during a conversation. I’ve worked on that for years. It got better as I got older but I still notice I lose interest after a while. My life has never been simple and I think the reason is that I made it difficult. Life is what you make it and something simple can feel harder than it is. At least I manage to do simple things some people can’t.

 

Tallenna

Tallenna