Tag: motivation

NaBloPoMo15: Introverts and photography

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treat2
©Mia Salminen

When I thought about what to write in day 4 of NaBloPoMo, I had nada. Nothing. I’ve written daily before but today it struggled a bit. After surfing the net about other things, I found this blog post about photography and introverts. I thought about myself. It’s exactly like that.

Sometimes I wonder, if photography really is my thing when it come to careers. Like I wrote yesterday (btw, thanks for the likes 🙂 ) I’m an introvert and things are not easy. For starter when I photograph, I usually do it when no one is looking. It’s like I’m ashamed. A lot of other people photograph and they don’t try to hide it. What’s even worse is when you have an assignment to ask people if they could be photographed, I just can’t do it. That’s one of the reason I don’t like taking photos of strangers.

When Princess Victoria of Sweden visited the country in 2011. There was a moment when she stopped where me and mum stood. I was too nervous to take photos. But then again she suddenly appeared quite close so I didn’t have time to react. At least I got one decent one.

Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011
Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011

That’s what I lacked, confidence and boldness. I guess you learn from practise. If I only bothered practising that is. You only become better if you do.

But is it really worth trying if you don’t know of you get better. Even if I know the basics, it just doesn’t stick in my head. Chosing the exposure or shutter speed is a nightmare to me. I get frustrated when I don’t get the result I want. Maybe I’m just not made for becoming a pro. Posting your photos on a blog is a different thing than photographing for a living. It seems to be so much work to get yourself out there. Even if other introverts have made it in the world, doesn’t mean everybody does. As a photographer, you have to stand out but how, that’s another matter.

I’m not only an introvert but also shy and lack of ambitions. That’s the difference between me and that article I mentioned. You hear or read, you can become anything you want as long as you work hard. The only time I worked hard was mental work. It’s not that I haven’t had support. My parents were really good at that. But somehow I’ve just been too sensitive. I just haven’t had the courage to do anything special. I know I can do things but I just don’t know how to do it.

I sound like a jumbled mess in person, but get me in front of a keyboard and my thoughts flow in a far more structured manner. – Alethia Rains

Exactly my thoughts. With that, thank you. Over and out.

Sky’s the limit

MiaLeave a comment
clouds
Taken with Lumia 820

There’s a lot of different subjects to write about. Sky’s the limit. But sometimes you don’t know what to say. That’s one of the reason why I haven’t posted that much on the blog. I even decided to join a cult, I mean a writing challenge called Ultimate Blog Challenge. But it wasn’t the way I expected at all. I thought you would get a subject everyday via email but it wasn’t like that at all. People who takes part in it just seem to want visitors to their blogs so they can get some money out of it. I also didn’t feel like writing everyday. The challenge didn’t help to get my motivation back either. So I skipped that challenge altogether.

It’s just not only blogging but also my fan fiction writing. I just haven’t bothered. I’ve just been lazy lately. I tried to find motivation to write but I haven’t found a cure. It’s just one of those day. One day you got a lot of ideas and the next nada, nothing. I could spend hours and hours writing. Even half a night. Ideas just keeps flooding. Then there are days like these. I could never be an author. I’m too distracted with other things. I also don’t like rushing things. If you rush things, the quality won’t be as good. I might be impatient in other things but when it comes to writing, I’m very particular about it.

Everything just seems boring to me. Not even social media interest me that much. I realised I don’t have much in common with my followers anymore. They don’t even watch the same TV shows as me. I just scroll through Twitter and Facebook because I’m not interested in what they do. Most of my followers are motor racing fans but I’m not into that the way I used to. If I stop following them, there wouldn’t be anyone left. It would just be useless to have a social media account in the first place.

I think the best cure for getting the writing mojo back, is to have a break from writing altogether. Sky’s the limit to do anything else for a change. Like I’ve written in the about me page, I only write when I have something to say and that will stick.

 

 

Class reunion- to go or not to go

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want2come
Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

Class reunions, you either love them or loathe them. It depends on how much you liked school and if you had any friends. I’ve never been to one even if I did say I would come. This was the class where I didn’t enjoy my time at all. I was just glad I didn’t have to see those people again. But when it was time for the reunion I thought, I’ll show them I’m a different person. At the time I thought I would have something to brag about. In the end it didn’t matter. Why do I have to impressive these people anyway. I don’t care about them. They didn’t care about me. They’re the past and that has nothing to do with the future. So I decided I would not go and I have never regretting it.

Now it’s time for a reunion but this time it’s with my class mates from Helsinki Design School. Even though I enjoyed the time there, I didn’t find that “connection” with any of them. It would be nice to see them again though despite that but it’s in Helsinki and I’m not really into travelling there just for a few hours. The restaurant they chose is quite expensive too. The meeting day is also on a Friday and that’s when all the weirdos are outside. Then there’s the money issues. There probably will be another reunion one day. If I decide to go, what would I do there. Just sit and listen? I have nothing to say. They never asked me anything when the photography course was on so why would they ask me anything now? These kind of gatherings are a pain for an introvert even if it’s with people you know. I don’t even know them. They’re just ships passing by. I don’t even remember their names. Then again it’s never too late to get to know them. At least those people that can make it. It’s also quite interesting to know what they’ve been up to even if I don’t have anything to tell. But is it really worth going that far just to sit and listen. I don’t really care if they want me there or not. If I decide to go I’ll do it out of curiosity.

Then there’s the bus or train schedules. Will I found a suitable time, is also the question. I don’t know how long I want to be there. It’s less expensive to buy the tickets online in advance. But what if I don’t like it there. Then of course I can leave earlier. But if I like it there, it would be a shame to leave just because I have to catch a train or bus. The restaurant is open until 2 am but I’m not gonna stay that long. There will be another reunion so if I don’t go this time, there’s always next time.

Decisions has never been my strongest side. Should I stay or should I go, that’s always been a problem for me. I’m still thinking if I should go to this reunion. It’s at least 3 weeks until it happens so there’s still time to think about it.