Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
Bloganuary 2024
I’ve learned through the years that thinking about the present is better than thinking about the future. Maybe about the near future, but that’s about it. Things change, so I don’t want to plan far ahead. You won’t be too disappointed if you live in the present. Sometimes I think about the past. Sometimes, you should think about where you have been.
Sometimes, I dream about people that I used to know. I see dreams about my mother where she is alive, but I never talk or see her. It’s been 10 years since she died, but she still appears in my dreams. There are days when I think about how things were in the past. Things were different then, so I like returning to those days. Only the good memories, though. Bad memories only appear when something comes up in the present. Maybe not about my life, but other people’s similar experiences. As I said at the beginning of this post, I only think about the near future, like next week or a couple of days. No time like the present.
What I hate the most is to rush things. I want to do things at my own pace. Things go better when I get the time to do them. If I need to rush things, I only get agitated. If I get an assignment, I will do it, but if you rush me, it won’t get finished faster. Life is not a competition where you must finish things before everyone else. I’ve never understood why you need to rush things. For example, if school or work starts at 9 a.m., what’s the big deal if you get late for a few minutes? Will you miss something? You can’t always be on time. As long as you don’t make a habit of being late. If I know I will be late, I won’t hurry because someone is waiting for me. I don’t like running to places. I like being on time, so I try to have enough time so I don’t need to rush. Especially if it comes to public transport. You need to be on time because it won’t wait. The last time I had to rush was when I had to catch a train while studying filmmaking this year. I almost overslept, and I had to hurry up. It was awful, but I did get to the train on time. I was totally knackered, and it reminded me how much I hate to rush.
The first time you need to rush is knowing what you want to be when you grow up. It begins when you turn 16 or 17. Should you attend high school (it’s voluntary in Finland) or not. That was an easy choice for me. By then, I was tired of school and didn’t like reading. I knew what I didn’t want to be. The most challenging part was what I wanted to do. When some people try to find their “calling” through work, I did it with studying. Maybe it was the wrong way to go because I lack work experience today, and now I must pay the price. But I did it my way, and other people did theirs. People tried to rush me to make decisions, but I always had my thoughts and needs. You can’t go back to the past to change things. You can only look forward. I can’t become something I’m not. I like learning new things, but I do without being rushed. Sometimes, it feels like time running out, and soon, I’m too old to become anything. That feeling goes away, though. If one dream won’t come true, then you have another one. But one thing is sure: I won’t rush to do anything.
Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
Daily Prompt
I have lived in a cocoon, and there are things I regret. I wish I could have said something to those morons in school that treated me like I wasn’t there. Especially one of them. I don’t know what her problem was. Maybe she thought she was something special. At least I wasn’t bullied as bad as some people are. Some adults have been bullied, so their whole life is spoiled. I was glad I had never had to meet them again. You shouldn’t have people around who don’t appreciate you. The decisions I have made in life have nothing with them. If they thought they would break me, they were wrong. It only made me stronger. What happened then is only pathetic on their part. It was all so silly. They were cowards too. They never dared to say anything to my face. I wouldn’t recognise them on the street anymore. I don’t even remember some of my former classmates’ names. I have met many people, so how can anyone remember someone you knew over 30 years ago. They don’t matter anymore.
I’ve had a lot of times when I didn’t take action when I should have. I don’t know if I regret certain decisions I made in the past. I know I’ve learned something, at least. There have been education that didn’t get me anywhere, even if people said it would help to get a job. Well, it hasn’t, or I would have had more job experience than I have now. I wish I would have tried any job, but I wanted to discover what I wanted to be through education. I see; now they don’t matter. It’s job experience. Sometimes it feels like I’ve wasted my life, and now I’m getting older. I should have at least 20 years of working life left, but I will become a poor pensioner at this rate. I don’t collect pensions because I don’t work. It isn’t even my fault. Some people don’t want to work, but I do. No one wants to hire me, but it’s their problem, not mine. Maybe I chose the wrong profession or something. There aren’t many jobs in the graphic design field. Unless you’re super talented and have job experience. It can be a little frustrating when you finally know what kind of job you like and can’t find anything to apply to. They look for people with job experience and someone for the future. Not someone in their 40s with no experience in the field. Employers never seem to look for workers, either. Job search has gotten so strange these days. No wonder some people don’t want to be in that game. It is one. The only ones that win are the lucky ones.
Living in a cocoon feels safer when you’re not a risk-taker. You can’t regret the things you did in the past because you can’t change that. But you can change what you do for the future. There will be times when you want to take action, but you can’t because that might make you feel unsafe. I live for today, and if it’s in a cocoon, let so be it. I’m not the one who thinks if you don’t do certain things, you will regret the rest of your life. Some things aren’t meant to be, and you have to accept that.
In my world 