I have lived in a cocoon, and there are things I regret. I wish I could have said something to those morons in school that treated me like I wasn’t there. Especially one of them. I don’t know what her problem was. Maybe she thought she was something special. At least I wasn’t bullied as bad as some people are. Some adults have been bullied, so their whole life is spoiled. I was glad I had never had to meet them again. You shouldn’t have people around who don’t appreciate you. The decisions I have made in life have nothing with them. If they thought they would break me, they were wrong. It only made me stronger. What happened then is only pathetic on their part. It was all so silly. They were cowards too. They never dared to say anything to my face. I wouldn’t recognise them on the street anymore. I don’t even remember some of my former classmates’ names. I have met many people, so how can anyone remember someone you knew over 30 years ago. They don’t matter anymore.
I’ve had a lot of times when I didn’t take action when I should have. I don’t know if I regret certain decisions I made in the past. I know I’ve learned something, at least. There have been education that didn’t get me anywhere, even if people said it would help to get a job. Well, it hasn’t, or I would have had more job experience than I have now. I wish I would have tried any job, but I wanted to discover what I wanted to be through education. I see; now they don’t matter. It’s job experience. Sometimes it feels like I’ve wasted my life, and now I’m getting older. I should have at least 20 years of working life left, but I will become a poor pensioner at this rate. I don’t collect pensions because I don’t work. It isn’t even my fault. Some people don’t want to work, but I do. No one wants to hire me, but it’s their problem, not mine. Maybe I chose the wrong profession or something. There aren’t many jobs in the graphic design field. Unless you’re super talented and have job experience. It can be a little frustrating when you finally know what kind of job you like and can’t find anything to apply to. They look for people with job experience and someone for the future. Not someone in their 40s with no experience in the field. Employers never seem to look for workers, either. Job search has gotten so strange these days. No wonder some people don’t want to be in that game. It is one. The only ones that win are the lucky ones.
Living in a cocoon feels safer when you’re not a risk-taker. You can’t regret the things you did in the past because you can’t change that. But you can change what you do for the future. There will be times when you want to take action, but you can’t because that might make you feel unsafe. I live for today, and if it’s in a cocoon, let so be it. I’m not the one who thinks if you don’t do certain things, you will regret the rest of your life. Some things aren’t meant to be, and you have to accept that.