My life is not an open book

January 27, 2017 Mia5 Comments

What you see is what you get, doesn’t really apply to me. I have a filter that protects me from prying eyes. It’s not that I want to hide the real me from others but I’m an introvert and we’re careful. I’ve also learned to be careful from past experiences. At home I can be myself but in public, I’m reserved. I have thoughts some might not understand. My life is not an open book and I want to keep it private. If I open up to a person, it’s someone I trust. The only one who knows the real me, is myself. Not even my parents knew. They only knew what I was when I was younger. I’ve never told them I write this blog for example. Some things you just want to keep to yourself. You need to do it. If I told everyone everything about myself, the mystery would be lost. That’s what life should be about. If you know everything about a person then there’s no surprises. What kind of life would it be?

People post about what they do on social media. Some keep updating things they’re doing at that moment. Who they talk to and where they are. I find that boring. I don’t care what you ate, if you took a shower, baked a cake or went to a birthday party. I don’t care about what your friends are doing or who they got engaged to. That’s what I keep seeing on Facebook. On Twitter I have ‘only’ 6125 tweets in 7 years I’ve been there. I don’t tweet nonsense. From time to time I do post things I do but that’s not regularly like most people do. I’m not trying to make a world record of tweets. When I have something important to say, I tweet it. I also hate selfies. Every time someone post one, I totally ignore it. Especially celebrities. Like they weren’t enough in the public eye already. If I want to see photos of them, I look for real photos taken by pros. Since camera phones were invented people think they’re all photographers.

Everyone seems to want to be like everybody else. I don’t want to be like everyone. I have a natural filter and know what to tell about myself online. If you read my about page, you know why I don’t post private things. Everybody seems to write about that. I dare to be different. Even though I have Instagram, I don’t post there much. To be honest, I find it a bit boring. It’s just isn’t my thing. I was excited at first when I could finally join last year but now I’m not that much. I follow 14 different one’s and that’s fine. For example I follow @cutepetclub because there’s so many cuties in it. Pets that is. I like looking at other people’s posts but when it comes to posting myself, I’m not that keen anymore. Sometimes I just scroll without looking because let’s face it, what people post there is boring.

I don’t have the urge to get people’s attention and that’s the same in real life. One on one conversations is good enough for me. I get really uncomfortable if someone looks at me. I wouldn’t make Youtube videos because I feel uneasy in front of a camera. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I leave those things to others. I don’t go after things because they’re popular. I’m not the victim of commercials. It’s easy to judge someone by the first impression but I’m more than what people see when they meet me. People give up too easily when they do. That’s one of the reasons I find it hard to meet new people. It’s really their loss and not mine. I’m proud of who I am and if I were someone else, I would be my friend. I always say I’m my own best friend because who knows me best than myself.

A simple life?Yeah right

January 26, 2017January 27, 2017 MiaLeave a comment

Why are things made so difficult? Why can’t this life be a simple one? Even on WordPress, you need to click several times to get to the dashboard. It was so much better before. I like simple things. What I learned in the web design education, a visitor shouldn’t need to click and search for things on a web site and that’s what WP is doing. Going to the Reader should be under one click like it was before. Now you need to click twice to get somewhere. But you get used to things but yet it should be done as simply. When I make web sites I do them as simple as possible. You can still have a great web site even if it looks simple.

If you apply for a job, you have to convince others that you’re good enough to be chosen. But that’s not good enough. You need all these diplomas and degrees to show that you can do something. It’s not enough that you tell and show them what you’re good at. Of course there are others who apply for the job too. A person who does have all these degrees probably can’t do the job but yet they get it. It shouldn’t be so difficult. You’re good at something and boom you’re hired. But they want to do things the hardest way. I could do a lot of different jobs but I still can’t find anything. Before you could just walk in to a company to ask for a job but now you have to send applications. That’s another difficult thing to do. Why can’t it be anything simple instead?

Nothing is free. You have to work to get somewhere in life. You live and learn. The older you get, more difficult it is. Learning new things at 16 and learning at 40 something is totally different. It take much longer but you can still learn. If things were simple, anyone could do it. I used to hate to going the unemployment center and other places like that. I was always so nervous so I kept going through my head what could go wrong. I wish it would have been easier for me but I made it much worse than it was. Now you don’t have to go anywhere and I wish there was internet when I was younger. Everything is online but it’s not simple there either. You need to sign in and remember passwords. You can’t have simple words because of security reasons.

Why is it so hard to write a blog post? I had ideas to write this but when I started writing, all the ideas disappeared. I want a simple mind but instead I get distracted by something else. Sometimes I wish I had a one-dimensional brain so I could stick one road of thoughts. Some have a train of thought. I have a road. It goes straight but sometimes I get sidetracked. I can listen to a person and then I start to think about something else during a conversation. I’ve worked on that for years. It got better as I got older but I still notice I lose interest after a while. My life has never been simple and I think the reason is that I made it difficult. Life is what you make it and something simple can feel harder than it is. At least I manage to do simple things some people can’t.

Tallenna