Tag: search

The direction is not align

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dead end sign
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What gives you direction in life?

Daily Prompt

My life right now has no direction. Whatever I do or go, it’s a dead end. It’s controlled by the employers and the employment office. Try to align a life when you’re not given a desired direction. I should apply for one job each month, and I’ve done so. But they are open applications, so it’s only a thank you for it, and that’s it. You can’t get a job with that. Not in the line of field I’m in, at least. Maybe if you want to work in a store or a ‘normal’ job like that. It’s challenging to even find a job to apply for. They want people with work experience and with a super portfolio. It makes me feel like a loser, even if I don’t think I am. But that’s what a job search feels like. I don’t think I want to work in a company for several years anyway.

I try to live day by day and wait for the day I know things will happen. Next week it’s the filmmaking course and then later in the summer two pop concerts. There is no point in thinking about things that might not happen. Other people can’t take away the direction I want to go. I don’t want my life to be aligned because that’s boring. Ultimately, I choose in what direction to take my life, and no one can take that away.

Things I don’t fancy

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Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

I’m a picky person. I don’t do things if I don’t feel like it. One of them is cleaning. But this post is not about that. It’s about things I don’t fancy. The second dislike I have besides cleaning is job search. I can understand why some people don’t want to work. It’s trying to find a job that is off-putting. Trying to stand out and know how to promote your skills. Even with a good resume, you need to be a circus person. It’s not only companies that have a brand, but people need to be one too. If I could, I wouldn’t look for work at all. It’s difficult and depressive. You shouldn’t stop trying, but how can you when you get rejected. Job search is so strange these days. As one of the Pet shop boys song “Suburbia” says. ‘I only wanted something else to do but hang around‘ I want to do something with my life and not just be.

What I don’t fancy is trying to find the right words to describe myself in the question, describe myself and what my strengths are. I didn’t even know what to write on this blog’s About me page when I started. I don’t have a way with words. I get frustrated when I can’t find the words so I let it be and do something else instead. Why should you do things you don’t fancy? You can’t force yourself to do anything. If the words won’t come, then they won’t.

What I do fancy right now, is to watch something funny on Disney Plus, so I’m out of here.

Blowing one’s horn

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Musicians blowing in traditional German horns
Musicians blowing in traditional German horns by Markus Spiske is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Blowing my own horn is not my thing. That must be one of the reasons why I can’t find a job. I don’t know how to brag about myself. It’s also a Finnish thing. We’re not good at it. It’s also an introvert thing. We don’t want to brag about ourselves and make ourselves something special. We like to be low key. But that doesn’t seem to be acceptable in the world. You’re nothing if you don’t want to blow your own horn. It shouldn’t be that way. We should be allowed to be ourselves and not pretend to be something we’re not. Some people seem to have problems with quiet people. Only because you don’t want to be a blabbermouth doesn’t mean you’re strange. Listening to people talk about things you don’t care about is stressful. Noisy people have the same effect.

Because I don’t want to blow my own horn, I don’t know if I could be a good entrepreneur. You need to be a lot of different things. A marketing person, a salesperson, a public speaker and someone who doesn’t give up easily. Most importantly, be good enough at what you do. Maybe it’s only me who thinks I’m good at something. Perhaps the reason why I won’t get hired is that I’m not good enough. They instead take someone with natural talent. I don’t have an impressive portfolio, and I don’t have what the employers are looking for. I’m not confident in blowing my own horn. No matter what I post on social media, I get some likes and sometimes nothing. If I don’t get much attention in my personal accounts, how can I get it on the business one? If I get any comments, it’s usually spam. I wouldn’t trust anyone. I feel it’s unnecessary work if I promote things on social media. It’s not easy to be ignored as a job seeker or/and an entrepreneur. I don’t know how to say something about myself or what I can do. At least when it comes to making it to words. It’s incredible how things disappear from your head when you should think about them. It has nothing to do with memory problems. I tend not to think about complicated stuff like that.

Maybe I’ve chosen the wrong path when it comes to careers. It seems you need to blow your own horn because the competition is tough. There are so many people in the design business, and I don’t know how to stand out. Maybe my destiny is to be without a job. I never wanted an ordinary job, but it has backfired. Only because I don’t know how to blow my own horn.