Tag: social media

Don’t you let your demons pull you down

MiaLeave a comment
broken egg
Post title ‘Shine’ by Take That

I’ve always been careful. Doing things gingerly has its advantages but also disadvantages. I don’t make rational decisions. I think first before acting. But if you don’t break an egg, you can’t get much. I hate myself for not taking more chances. I could be so much more but my inner demons are holding me back. I’m too afraid to fail so I don’t even try. It feels like I’m way behind everyone else. People younger than me have already achieved something in their life because they took chances. I’m a little mouse in the corner who is too scared to move. When I was younger, it was even worse. Being around people made me uncomfortable and talking to strangers felt unnatural. I think I got braver when I stopped thinking what others might think of me. Also because I had to. My mother was really important to me but when she died, I couldn’t be that scared little girl anymore. No one will never really know me the way I know myself. You can’t really walk in someone else’s shoes. The only person who can really understand you is you.

I don’t have the urge to tell the whole world what kind of person I am or what I really like. I don’t use social media like a lot of people do. If it died my life wouldn’t be over. I could live without social media. For me, it’s just a tool and my life doesn’t depend on it. I do things gingerly and think carefully what I post. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t have a lot of followers. I don’t talk about too private things and I don’t post selfies of myself. But it doesn’t really matter anyway. I don’t like that much attention. I’m happy with what I have. It’s about quality. There’s no point having followers who only want to fill their own list.

There’s nothing wrong with doing things gingerly. Actually, there should be more of it in the world. There are people who want to hurt you intentionally. People only seem to care about themselves and not be sensitive. They write insults online about someone’s appearance or opinions. If they can’t say anything nice, then they shouldn’t say anything at all. If you have an opinion, you can say it nicely. Not saying anything at all is also an option. I always try to be as gingerly as possible. I’m not the one who criticize people about how they look. I can keep my opinions to myself. I’m not trying to blow my own horn here but if people were more like me, things would be much better. Sometimes it feels like I’m one of the few who still have respect for other people. Especially young people who don’t seem to have any common sense. If they even had any in the first place. They weren’t any better when I was at their age either. Luckily I wasn’t one of them.

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna

Hidden followers

Mia5 Comments

plant

Sometimes I think social media is useless. I have followers but they seem to be hidden. I rarely get any reaction from followers. It doesn’t matter if it’s Facebook or Twitter, it’s always the same. It’s different with WordPress and I even prefer it because of that. I wonder why do I waste my time on posting on social media. It feels like I’m talking to a wall. My followers post things I don’t care about. I don’t give a toss about who they follow or where they go on holiday. They don’t seem to care about anything I post there. Do they expect me to care about their posts when they don’t even care about mine? I get more reactions from people who don’t follow me.

It feels like I have nothing in common with people I follow. The only thing that we do, is F1. I don’t watch it anymore even if I do know what’s going on in the sport. They are like friends you had in school when you were a kid but when you meet them years later, nothing is the same anymore. I used to read other people’s posts on social media but now I just keep scrolling through them. Facebook has become a bit irritating. When my follower liked someone else’s post, you can see it too. If it’s only a few then it would be alright but there’s a lot of them. I don’t know those people so I don’t want to see who changed their profile photo or who got married. Also when people share articles in a foreign language, I don’t care about it. It’s not my follower’s fault, it’s just the way it works these days.

I see people starting to follow me on Twitter but then unfollow again. What’s the point in that? Did they press the follow button by mistake? Maybe it’s a bot and not real people. If they were real, I would get some reactions. It seems I only attract silent people. I’m trying to post with the attitude that, I’m gonna post things even if no one is seeing it. I don’t post nonsense like a lot of other people do on social media. When people post selfies, I always scroll past them. I don’t care if they’re famous or not. I hate selfies and I avoid them like plague. It’s unbelievable how much crap people post on social media. The best way is to ignore it altogether. I have self-respect and don’t need approval from strangers. If social media died, I wouldn’t miss it. What I would miss, is blogging.

My followers on social media don’t seem to care about my blog. I don’t think sharing on social media helps me to get my blog out there. How many of you have found it through that? I don’t think no one has. Followers come elsewhere. If my blog was a business, it wouldn’t succeed because for me sharing on social media is like being in space, no one can hear you scream. Luckily it’s just a hobby and it’s not relying on followers. It feels like there’s some kind of curse hanging over me. No one is seeing me in real life and no one is seeing me online. People know my existence but they don’t really see me. I don’t take it personally though. I’m used to it. I don’t believe you can get very far by posting things online because there’s so much out there. People are very choosy. They only get interested in shocking news or something that is out of the ordinary. The Internet is mostly for people who like attention and if you nothing special to offer, you’ll be left alone. Fortunately, there are people who don’t need that much popularity. If they can at least please or help one person, that’s enough for them.

I don’t mind hidden followers. If I stopped following people on social media, there wouldn’t be anyone left. I can understand my posts might not be as interesting to others as it is for me. If someone at least once shows some reaction, I don’t use social media in vain. I’m a modest person and I don’t need much to keep me satisfied. I’m one of those who people who’re happy to affect at least one person. If it’s with my writing or my photographs. It also helps me go through life by making someone else happier. It’s cheaper than going to a therapist. You know what they say, if you scratch my back, I scratch yours. That helping itch will never go away.

 

Tallenna

Tallenna

My life is not an open book

Mia5 Comments

male hands holding an open bookWhat you see is what you get, doesn’t really apply to me. I have a filter that protects me from prying eyes. It’s not that I want to hide the real me from others but I’m an introvert and we’re careful. I’ve also learned to be careful from past experiences. At home I can be myself but in public, I’m reserved. I have thoughts some might not understand. My life is not an open book and I want to keep it private. If I open up to a person, it’s someone I trust. The only one who knows the real me, is myself. Not even my parents knew. They only knew what I was when I was younger. I’ve never told them I write this blog for example. Some things you just want to keep to yourself. You need to do it. If I told everyone everything about myself, the mystery would be lost. That’s what life should be about. If you know everything about a person then there’s no surprises. What kind of life would it be?

People post about what they do on social media. Some keep updating things they’re doing at that moment. Who they talk to and where they are. I find that boring. I don’t care what you ate, if you took a shower, baked a cake or went to a birthday party. I don’t care about what your friends are doing or who they got engaged to. That’s what I keep seeing on Facebook. On Twitter I have ‘only’ 6125 tweets in 7 years I’ve been there. I don’t tweet nonsense. From time to time I do post things I do but that’s not regularly like most people do. I’m not trying to make a world record of tweets. When I have something important to say, I tweet it. I also hate selfies. Every time someone post one, I totally ignore it. Especially celebrities. Like they weren’t enough in the public eye already. If I want to see photos of them, I look for real photos taken by pros. Since camera phones were invented people think they’re all photographers.

Everyone seems to want to be like everybody else. I don’t want to be like everyone. I have a natural filter and know what to tell about myself online. If you read my about page, you know why I don’t post private things. Everybody seems to write about that. I dare to be different. Even though I have Instagram, I don’t post there much. To be honest, I find it a bit boring. It’s just isn’t my thing. I was excited at first when I could finally join last year but now I’m not that much. I follow 14 different one’s and that’s fine. For example I follow @cutepetclub because there’s so many cuties in it. Pets that is. I like looking at other people’s posts but when it comes to posting myself, I’m not that keen anymore. Sometimes I just scroll without looking because let’s face it, what people post there is boring.

I don’t have the urge to get people’s attention and that’s the same in real life. One on one conversations is good enough for me. I get really uncomfortable if someone looks at me. I wouldn’t make Youtube videos because I feel uneasy in front of a camera. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I leave those things to others. I don’t go after things because they’re popular. I’m not the victim of commercials. It’s easy to judge someone by the first impression but I’m more than what people see when they meet me. People give up too easily when they do. That’s one of the reasons I find it hard to meet new people. It’s really their loss and not mine. I’m proud of who I am and if I were someone else, I would be my friend. I always say I’m my own best friend because who knows me best than myself.