I’ve always been careful. Doing things gingerly has its advantages but also disadvantages. I don’t make rational decisions. I think first before acting. But if you don’t break an egg, you can’t get much. I hate myself for not taking more chances. I could be so much more but my inner demons are holding me back. I’m too afraid to fail so I don’t even try. It feels like I’m way behind everyone else. People younger than me have already achieved something in their life because they took chances. I’m a little mouse in the corner who is too scared to move. When I was younger, it was even worse. Being around people made me uncomfortable and talking to strangers felt unnatural. I think I got braver when I stopped thinking what others might think of me. Also because I had to. My mother was really important to me but when she died, I couldn’t be that scared little girl anymore. No one will never really know me the way I know myself. You can’t really walk in someone else’s shoes. The only person who can really understand you is you.
I don’t have the urge to tell the whole world what kind of person I am or what I really like. I don’t use social media like a lot of people do. If it died my life wouldn’t be over. I could live without social media. For me, it’s just a tool and my life doesn’t depend on it. I do things gingerly and think carefully what I post. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t have a lot of followers. I don’t talk about too private things and I don’t post selfies of myself. But it doesn’t really matter anyway. I don’t like that much attention. I’m happy with what I have. It’s about quality. There’s no point having followers who only want to fill their own list.
There’s nothing wrong with doing things gingerly. Actually, there should be more of it in the world. There are people who want to hurt you intentionally. People only seem to care about themselves and not be sensitive. They write insults online about someone’s appearance or opinions. If they can’t say anything nice, then they shouldn’t say anything at all. If you have an opinion, you can say it nicely. Not saying anything at all is also an option. I always try to be as gingerly as possible. I’m not the one who criticize people about how they look. I can keep my opinions to myself. I’m not trying to blow my own horn here but if people were more like me, things would be much better. Sometimes it feels like I’m one of the few who still have respect for other people. Especially young people who don’t seem to have any common sense. If they even had any in the first place. They weren’t any better when I was at their age either. Luckily I wasn’t one of them.