On Monday it’s time to conquer the web designing process on my own without the teacher’s help, so wish me luck.
Tag: web design
Making your own luck doesn’t exist
Whoever says you can make your own luck, haven’t walked in an unlucky person’s shoes. If you can make it yourself, then they really are lucky. Everyone is not born with luck. You can’t choose where to be born or who your parents are. You can achieve a goal but you need some luck in that too. You can’t make your own luck because there’s so many ways to lose it all in one go. You can do everything right and yet something can happen. No one can be lucky all the time. Things misfires when you least expect it. You can go somewhere and you still don’t meet someone who can change your future. You can get lucky but you can’t make it by yourself. Those who think they can, are lying to themselves. What happens to you, depends on other people. Innocent people in war zones can’t make their luck. It’s the society that bring luck or bad luck to people.
Luck only seem to happen to other people. Just because someone has been lucky enough to make their luck, it doesn’t mean it will happen to you. There’s a lot of different advice online how you can do that. But I think they’re all nonsense. For example, working hard for your goal or make something crazy. It’s all pure chance, not luck. You won’t become rich by making your luck. You can’t make yourself be in the right place at the right time. Getting a job in your ideal company or study to become something you dreamed on. It’s luck that gets you to a place and not how you make it yourself. I’ve been lucky I have got the educations I’ve applied to but I didn’t make my own luck. All I did was writing the right words in an application. The rest was pure luck. If that only would happen when it comes to applying for jobs.
I’ve been unlucky in finding clients for on the job learning period which begins on Monday. I had 4 but now I only have one because the rest didn’t get in touch after a few emails. That’s not enough. I want to graduate and if I won’t get more, I won’t. I guess the word free doesn’t mean much for some. When the school is over, my luck could be returned to sender. In other words, getting real clients who pay. Now it’s gaining experience and it’s part of the education. I’m worried no matter how much I work, it won’t be enough. You need luck to be in competition like web design and I don’t have enough of ambition in me. I give up easily. Having luck in education and having luck getting a job, is a different matter. You don’t make your own luck, it’s the people you meet or don’t. With my luck, nothing special will happen. I’ll never “bump” into someone who’ll change my life around. It’s more likely to get hit by a car than having my dreams come true. It’s a harsh comment but I don’t have the skill to make my own luck.
Dreams sinken quicken
I should never have my hopes up. At first I had 3 possible clients and now only two. Story of my life. People need someone with more experience but how can you become better if no one gives you a chance? It *sinken quicken no matter what I wish for. Losing one client is not the end of the world though. If I lose one more, I’ll never graduate if I won’t get any client work. In a way I knew I would lose a client as soon as I showed my portfolio. At least there’s one worry less. Yet it bugs me. I’ll do it for free but people see it as a risk because I’m still a student. People always seems to want what everybody else does. There’s so many of these flashy sites, they all look the same. What happened to simple things? Maybe other dream of mine will be shattered once again. I might just have an early retirement before turning 40. A poor old woman with no work experience and no retirement fund. OK maybe I’m being a little too dramatic. But that’s how it feels sometimes.
If finding clients for a school project, how can find clients when I’m on my own? I don’t know what I’ll become after this education but working with people has been something I can see myself doing. It has been difficult with the coding and stuff but everybody has had the same problems in the beginning. I’ve disappointed so many times when it comes to jobs so I don’t dare to dream big dreams anymore. I thought photography would be my job but that dream has been dashed a few years ago. Everything seems to take years so soon I’m getting too old to start something new again. My mother will turn in her grave if I still haven’t got a job when I’m over 40. It gets harder the older you get, she always said to me and she was right. Especially with the age discrimination. You have to be 20 something and have a lot of experience. No one seems to want to hire someone who’s older with less work experience. In a creative job, it’s never too late to start. A lot of people older than me has begun a new career. Even if mine has never really started, this is a new career for me. I wish I could have got this idea much sooner but I was too busy trying to find a job in photography. If this fails, I don’t know what else to do. I have no more ideas what I want to be.
Getting ideas has never been my strongest suit. That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t continue my studies in graphic design. The other thing was the lack of drawing skills even if you don’t need to be good at it. But the idea part has always been a nightmare to me. I’m better at doing what others want me to do. Even then I have to look at tutorials before I can do anything. It depends what kind of project I’m working on. In web design you need to get new ideas too so why do I keep finding all these creative things to study? I guess it’s my heritage. My dad is creative as well so that must be it. For me it just has taken a lot longer to realise what kind of job I want to do. I really hope this road I’m taking right now, won’t sinken quicken or else I’ll be hanging around doing nothing again. I really hope my unemployment days will be over for good.
*sink in German
In my world 