I leave you with nothing

trash
Photo from Canva

When I die I won’t leave a legacy of any kind to anyone. I probably give all the money to charity and the stuff I probably throw in the trash. I won’t be remembered for anything special. It doesn’t really matter what happens after my death because, well I’m dead. Some people want to make a big deal of what they leave behind. I only want a normal and quiet life without unnecessary drama. I don’t need to impress anyone. Not everyone will leave a legacy and it doesn’t matter either.

I settle for little. I don’t know why you should do anything special in this life. If you want to be at the top of the world and you don’t feel complete unless you experience something out of the ordinary, so be it. But don’t expect others to do the same. I only want to do things that please me. I don’t need excitement to feel human but not being bored either. Pleasing at least one person is enough. For example at work when someone tells me I’ve done something right, it feels I’ve accomplished something good. I don’t need fireworks to feel needed.

There are many who use social media to feel important. I got back to Instagram yesterday (@liuzzia5) because I got a better phone (Apple iPhone SE2020) and I can download it again. Even if it’s a popularity contest the whole app I still use it. It’s a bit of a waste of time if you ask me. I have never really gotten the point of the whole thing. I only get a few likes and sometimes none. But I only use it for my own amusement. I never know what kind of hashtags I should use and I don’t bother with it. It takes all the fun out of Instagram. I prefer Pinterest more than that because there you don’t need to think that much about hashtags.

In certain things, I wish people gave me more likes. E.g. graphic design or photography. Comments would be much more prefered though. Maybe social media is not the right platform or something for that. I don’t want to become famous or anything. Or leave a legacy for the future generation. But knowing I’m not wasting my time on something I’m not really good at would be nice to know. Maybe I’ll always only remain an amateur. I know I should be more confident in myself. Right now I’ve been too tired after work so I haven’t had time to think about what to do after my contract ends. Not to mention about the legacy I’m not gonna leave behind.

(This post was done with Classic Editor block)

Whoops a homeless umbrella

Whoops a homeless umbrella
Made in Canva

Answering the phone is the most terrible thing I know. If it’s someone I know, it’s different. I don’t answer unknown numbers because who would call anyway. Only frauds and telemarketing people. But this time I should have. Someone from work tried to get in touch about when work would continue. So I didn’t know it would start this Monday. So whoops. I went on Tuesday. All that matters is that I did go and now I’m back at work. Tomorrow it’s Friday so the week has gone fast. I’m soon getting hang of work again. It’s also nice to see my colleagues again. Without them, work wouldn’t be fun. It’s not something I want to continue with but it’s nice to say, I’m going to work. At least I have a job so I don’t need to be afraid about becoming homeless.

In Finland, you don’t get homeless unless you have some mental issues or an addiction. Or something worse. In a way, I’ve been lucky to have a home and I can afford to buy food. My parents have also been there to help when I needed it. Not everyone has that. But I can’t carry other people’s problems on my shoulders. I have an umbrella to cover myself from things I can’t do anything about but I can sympathise. It really is a shame some have to suffer no matter how they try to change things. Sometimes you just feel helpless because you can’t help other people all by yourself. If people would be less greedy, then things could be better. People with more money than you do should make more effort but politics complicates things which is the reason why I hate it.

So it was back to work and holiday over. There is no time to keep up at night because I have to wake up early in the morning. The weekend doesn’t come soon enough. It’s easy to get lazy when you don’t have a job to go to. When you do naps after work is boss. On Saturday I’m gonna sleep until the afternoon so I have the strength to go back after the weekend.