I feel so…helpless

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Helpless.”

so helpless
Scene from Star Wars Revenge of the Sith

Last time I felt really helpess was when my mother became sick. That’s something you don’t wish to anyone. Especially a family member. Cancer is a bitch. It takes all the strenght out of a person. Worse thing was that she wouldn’t survive of it. The day when the doctor told her there were nothing they could do, I realized how helpless I was. Seeing her getting weaker was the worse thing I’ve ever experienced.

During the treatment, it looked like she was feeling better. There was hope. But then when no one can make the disease go away, you wish there was something you could do. In reality you can’t. It’s not a movie where anything is possible. You never know how the person who is sick really feels. But you can be there for them. Help them as long as you can. That’s what I did. But when she couldn’t even walk without help, I knew I couldn’t do anything about it anymore. She lived at home for a week until she was so weak, she had to move to the hospice. One day she could sit in a wheel chair and talk but the next laying in bed difficulties to breathe. That was my most helpless moment.

When you feel helpless like that, it’s just a weak moment. It’s normal when you see a person you love suffer. But if you’re helpless doing daily stuff, like switching a light off, then you have a problem. It’s alright to be helpless for a while. But it should not affect how you function in life. Like my mother used to say (in Swedish of course) “Pull yourself together”