The golden moment came and went

black cross across gold
Made in Canva

I have a temporary enthusiasm when it comes to interests. I get excited about one thing, but then the golden moment passes. For example, I applied for a job, and they would contact me the following week. Now it’s almost a month, and still no message. I could reach the place, but I’m no longer interested in the job. I prefer to apply for something else instead. I rarely get excited about things, but then when I do, it doesn’t take long. If there were ADHD for making decisions, I would probably have it. My mind is easily distracted. That’s maybe the reason why I have so much unfinished fictions.

I read a column about how you these days need to know what you want to do at 15. It was the same when I was that age; so things haven’t changed. In Finland, you can choose where to study after elementary school. You can go to high school or training school. I didn’t choose either. I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I knew I didn’t want anything ordinary. I went to a folk school for a year in education I didn’t want to be in. But my late mother said you need to start somewhere. I’ve had a few schools I didn’t want to be in, but that’s another story. The column reminded me of how many different subjects I’ve studied. It hasn’t got me a job, but I’m versatile. You don’t need to know what you want to be at 15. You have the right to change your mind. Your interests change. I don’t understand why people tell kids they must choose a career at a young age or they’ll be screwed. Everyone doesn’t know what they want to be. We can’t all be made in the same format. No wonder young people get stressed and depressed when they are lied to. Pressure is the worse kind of motivating factor. The golden moment might never happen but never say never. Life is about trying different things; try again if one doesn’t work.

I had an enthusiasm for becoming an entrepreneur. When I studied web design some years ago, I had a taste of working with clients. It appealed to me not having to go anywhere and working when I wanted. I even went on a course about entrepreneurship in 2018. I still had that as an option later on. But now I’m trying the easier way out, finding a job, because starting a business seems too much work and time-consuming. I’m not afraid of working hard, but I’m not getting any younger. Once, I wanted to become a professional photographer. I put all my thoughts into it. I studied it at the beginning of the 2000s. I enjoyed it for two months, but then I quit. One of the teachers put me off it. He was against digital cameras. It was only film cameras, and nothing else mattered. Developing film and all that was too difficult for me as well. I didn’t think about photography as a profession for years. Thanks to digital cameras, my interest in photography was on again. To make the story short. I came to the conclusion I wanted to do more than photography. It’s only been a hobby for me. It would be nice if I could also use it in a job.

People change, and interests change. What you wanted to do when you were a kid, you might not want when you’re an adult. People change jobs and careers every day. Everything is temporary. Once upon a time, people stayed in a job until they retired, but today and in the future, nothing lasts forever. Doing variable jobs during your lifetime is much better than doing one position for the rest of your life. I would feel trapped if I wasn’t allowed to do different things. I end this post with one of the ‘Lord of the rings’ quotes I can relate to.

“What do you fear, lady?” [Aragorn] asked.
“A cage,” [Éowyn] said. “To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King