Anticipate the future is the hardest thing

Made in Canva

Another new year is here. It’s 2019 and another opportunity to plan ahead. But to anticipate the future is the hardest thing. Don’t ask me what I do in 5 years because I don’t even know what I do next week. I can only wish things but they won’t become reality. Life should be full a surprises and not something you plan ahead. People make bucket lists or make new years resolutions. I don’t make neither of them. It’s a waste of time and they never come true anyway. I don’t hesitate with decisions. I just hate rushing things.

Having so many disappointments in life, you don’t expect much. You appreciate the things you got. People usually complain about things they don’t have. I don’t want to be one of those people who doesn’t see anything good in anything. I always try to see good things in everything. I didn’t plan my life to be in the state it is now. But the past is the past. I only want to look forward. I can look back at the past for a moment but then move on.

There is at least one thing to look forward to this year. A certain thing that really is going to happen. That is the graphic design course I’m on. It ends in June. There is still things to learn and things to do. One is a portfolio that we’ve gonna present in front of the class. I hope that goes well because I don’t like public speaking. I’m not as nervous about that as I was before. Of course, it’s easy to say it now. I can never anticipate how things like that will go. I know when I get there. I haven’t started planning the portfolio yet so I don’t know what I put in it. It’s not the first time I make a portfolio so there are no problems in that. The thing is what work to put in it. The other thing is what to tell about the assignments I’ve done. Finding what your strength is also difficult. The best thing about presenting your portfolio is straight feedback from the teacher. It’s a long way to the presentation day so no need to stress about it.

Advent calendar Box 20

advent calendar 20

Day 20 comes and I bring you good news when it comes to job search. I got a job interview! It’s in Helsinki so I need to travel for it. It could have been handled through Skype but I never used it. It’s better to meet face to face. This a great Christmas present. I don’t even mind now I didn’t get chosen to Helsinki Design School to study graphic design. A job is what I need.

I have never had a job interview in the ordinary sense. I’ve been to interviews but they’ve been for study or course. It’s easy now to be prepared but when it comes to the real thing, I might screw up. Just getting an interview is great. Even if I don’t get chosen, I can still learn from it. It’s not every day you get one. Especially if jobs in web design is limited. The job is only 7 months but that’s enough for me. Getting an interview is one thing but getting the job is another. No matter how much I prepare, it never goes the way I planned it. I might forget everything that I thought of or my answers are too short. I shouldn’t be obsessed about this. I should just go there confident. If I start to think too much, then it makes me more nervous.

Web design really is my so-called calling and I want to work with it in the future. Design in general. Getting this job interview gives me hope for 2018. This year I went through a lot but next year it really should happen something on the job front. If I won’t get it, I need another plan. But I definitely won’t give up. I’ve had enough of unemployment. When you have a job you don’t need to fight with the jobcentre and you don’t need to apply for social benefits. However, the next goal is to get through the job interview and worry about other things later.