Tag: personal

NaBloPoMo15: fI uoy nac daer siht

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weirdness
Source: http://ideasevolved.com/the-weirdness/

You understand this weirdness I possess. It isn’t weirdness really. It’s normal to me. What is weird anyway? Some might think I’m weird because I don’t talk much. Of course I won’t. I don’t waste my time on nonsense.
Or sometimes I walk to the other side of the street if another person is coming towards me. Especially if it’s Friday or Saturday night and they’re young people.

I can also speak in fake accents but I don’t do that in public because some might not understand it. The same with different sounds I make.
Sometimes I’m in a funny mood. But only when I’m alone.
I giggle like a girl when I see certain actors I like.
I can’t look at a picture of a person too long because it feel like they’re looking at me.
Websites that have big close-up photos of someone famous, is a big no. I just don’t like the “in your face”- thing.

One thing that is normal to some, is weird for others. I think it’s weird people take selfies of themselves. One is OK but why do people have the need to take one every time they done something. Like having a haircut or they’ve met their idols. It’s “Hey, look at me. I’m so important” I just hate selfies, they’re everywhere.

What I also think is weird, are people who have to walk on their heels so you would think it’s a member of Stomp living upstairs. If it’s during daytime, it’s different. But when it’s in the middle of the night, that’s weird. Having loud parties is also weird at night. If you need to shout, go out or put the volume down. For them it might be normal but that’s what I think is weird.

Being weird is alright as long as it’s normal. But there’s no need to be a jerk about it.

NaBloPoMo15: Some are looking for the one, I’m looking for a job

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work

In today’s NaBloPoMo prompt the question is, what is the hardest part of a big project, the beginning, the middle or that it’s over. For me it’s the beginning. I haven’t done big project but small ones. It’s the same. The easiest part is when it’s finally over. It also depends what kind of project it is. I’m not very good at projects. They always seem to end before they even begin. I’m just not patient enough. Note to self: Need to learn more patience.

A project that I have had for years is finding a job. I haven’t really been active enough. Most of my adult life, I’ve thought about what I want to do. Until 2007 when photography took over my mind. I’ve written about photography before on this blog but I mention it anyway.
Finding something you really want to do is not that easy. Especially if they’re not brave enough to do anything about it. Even my mother told me when I was younger I should start at least with something. But I just thought she fussed about it. I guess I have to suffer now that I didn’t listen to her.

When other’s search for The One, I look for the one job. I’ve taken part in an online course about job search. There been tips about CV’s, job applications, job search in social media and everything that includes jobs. I’ve got encouragement from the tutors not to give up hope. I haven’t either even though sometimes if feels there is none. Especially when I’ve  heard some people say to me that my wishes are unrealistic. Even suggestions that maybe I should change fields. Just when I finally found something interesting, I should begin from the start?! No thank you.

During the course I’ve learned different ways to find a job. What caught my attention the most, was job search campaigns online. There are people who have gotten jobs that way. But is it really suitable for me. There’s a lot to work and even that doesn’t mean it will help. You also have to get in touched with companies yourself. I can’t find a single place I want to work in. Not in my city anyway.
I don’t feel like doing something that won’t work. Those who have succeed have occupations that includes marketing. I don’t know if this kind of project works for photographers.

I don’t even know if photography is the only thing I want to do. To become better you need to practise but I haven’t done that in a while. When you see the competition out there, it feels like you’ll never be that good no matter how much you practise. My photos look plain and uninterested. In other words, amateurish. No one wants to pay for that. Photography as a job is quite demanding and time-consuming. I just don’t know if I got what it takes when it comes to marketing myself.

This job search is frustrating business. Only the fortunate ones succeed. No matter how many ways there are to find a job, you really need luck. If looking for The One is difficult, looking for a suitable job is an achievement in itself.

NaBloPoMo15: Face your fears

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Face your fearI wrote about my fear for dogs over here and how managed to get over it. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Facing a fear like that takes years. Some never get over it. There are people who have been bitten by a dog. That’s even worse. Even if they face their fear, in the back of the head, there’s always the thought about the event. But if you let your fear get in the way of living your life, you’ll never get anything done.

People that have never felt fear, won’t understand how it is to be really scared. There was an episode in ‘Friends’ where Chandler is afraid of dogs. He said he didn’t like dogs because he was scared of them. But if you’re scared, it means you can’t even be in the same room. You panic and wants to get out of there. The only reason he was scared of them was because he didn’t know what they were thinking. I wouldn’t call that fear. He wasn’t attacked or any other bad experience. That episode was unrealistic. Someone who’s afraid of dogs won’t get over it in a day. The writer who wrote the episode clearly didn’t know what it really feels to be scared of dogs.

The only person who understands how to be scared of something, is a person who’s afraid of the same thing or have been. If you’re scared of spiders, you can’t tell them, they won’t do you any harm. The same goes with dogs. I heard comments from dog owners that how nice and lovable their pets are. But for a person who is scared, it doesn’t help. That fear will still be there no matter what you say.

The only thing that helps to get over fear, is to face it. It might take years like it has for me. There are fears you can’t get over. My fear of needles has never disappeared. I know it might not hurt but still I try to ignore injections like a plague. Unless it’s really necessary. Blood tests are the worse. That’s one of the reasons I won’t donate blood. Just the thought makes me feel anxious. That’s a fear I know I’ll never get over.