Kirjastosilta in Turku, Finland (trans. Library bridge) in French flag colors
Everybody knows what happened in Paris, France on Friday 13, so no need to repeat it. If affected us all and things like these shouldn’t happen. But there are those who do anything to destroy other people’s lives. Even though I’ve never been to France and I don’t know anyone from there personally, I feel for all the people living there.
There’s just isn’t enough love out there in the world. We should not let hate control the world. Hate is the reason those terrorist exist. They probably have never loved or been loved in the first place. We should teach the kids that love is stronger than hate. Fear shouldn’t control our lives. In time like these, we should respect each other and show that we care. If we pull together, we can beat the hate. Life is too short disrespect other people.
Everywhere in the world buildings and monuments have been lighten up with colors of the flag of France. Finland was no exception. This evening I went to photograph one of the bridges. It was a nice gesture from the city. We should not forget what happened in France. But we shouldn’t forget either that it can happen again somewhere else. Let’s not let that get us down. We will not give into terrorism. Peace in the world is the thing we need.
In today’s NaBloPoMo prompt the question is, what is the hardest part of a big project, the beginning, the middle or that it’s over. For me it’s the beginning. I haven’t done big project but small ones. It’s the same. The easiest part is when it’s finally over. It also depends what kind of project it is. I’m not very good at projects. They always seem to end before they even begin. I’m just not patient enough. Note to self: Need to learn more patience.
A project that I have had for years is finding a job. I haven’t really been active enough. Most of my adult life, I’ve thought about what I want to do. Until 2007 when photography took over my mind. I’ve written about photography before on this blog but I mention it anyway.
Finding something you really want to do is not that easy. Especially if they’re not brave enough to do anything about it. Even my mother told me when I was younger I should start at least with something. But I just thought she fussed about it. I guess I have to suffer now that I didn’t listen to her.
When other’s search for The One, I look for the one job. I’ve taken part in an online course about job search. There been tips about CV’s, job applications, job search in social media and everything that includes jobs. I’ve got encouragement from the tutors not to give up hope. I haven’t either even though sometimes if feels there is none. Especially when I’ve heard some people say to me that my wishes are unrealistic. Even suggestions that maybe I should change fields. Just when I finally found something interesting, I should begin from the start?! No thank you.
During the course I’ve learned different ways to find a job. What caught my attention the most, was job search campaigns online. There are people who have gotten jobs that way. But is it really suitable for me. There’s a lot to work and even that doesn’t mean it will help. You also have to get in touched with companies yourself. I can’t find a single place I want to work in. Not in my city anyway.
I don’t feel like doing something that won’t work. Those who have succeed have occupations that includes marketing. I don’t know if this kind of project works for photographers.
I don’t even know if photography is the only thing I want to do. To become better you need to practise but I haven’t done that in a while. When you see the competition out there, it feels like you’ll never be that good no matter how much you practise. My photos look plain and uninterested. In other words, amateurish. No one wants to pay for that. Photography as a job is quite demanding and time-consuming. I just don’t know if I got what it takes when it comes to marketing myself.
This job search is frustrating business. Only the fortunate ones succeed. No matter how many ways there are to find a job, you really need luck. If looking for The One is difficult, looking for a suitable job is an achievement in itself.
When I thought about what to write in day 4 of NaBloPoMo, I had nada. Nothing. I’ve written daily before but today it struggled a bit. After surfing the net about other things, I found this blog post about photography and introverts. I thought about myself. It’s exactly like that.
Sometimes I wonder, if photography really is my thing when it come to careers. Like I wrote yesterday (btw, thanks for the likes 🙂 ) I’m an introvert and things are not easy. For starter when I photograph, I usually do it when no one is looking. It’s like I’m ashamed. A lot of other people photograph and they don’t try to hide it. What’s even worse is when you have an assignment to ask people if they could be photographed, I just can’t do it. That’s one of the reason I don’t like taking photos of strangers.
When Princess Victoria of Sweden visited the country in 2011. There was a moment when she stopped where me and mum stood. I was too nervous to take photos. But then again she suddenly appeared quite close so I didn’t have time to react. At least I got one decent one.
Princess Victoria of Sweden 2011
That’s what I lacked, confidence and boldness. I guess you learn from practise. If I only bothered practising that is. You only become better if you do.
But is it really worth trying if you don’t know of you get better. Even if I know the basics, it just doesn’t stick in my head. Chosing the exposure or shutter speed is a nightmare to me. I get frustrated when I don’t get the result I want. Maybe I’m just not made for becoming a pro. Posting your photos on a blog is a different thing than photographing for a living. It seems to be so much work to get yourself out there. Even if other introverts have made it in the world, doesn’t mean everybody does. As a photographer, you have to stand out but how, that’s another matter.
I’m not only an introvert but also shy and lack of ambitions. That’s the difference between me and that article I mentioned. You hear or read, you can become anything you want as long as you work hard. The only time I worked hard was mental work. It’s not that I haven’t had support. My parents were really good at that. But somehow I’ve just been too sensitive. I just haven’t had the courage to do anything special. I know I can do things but I just don’t know how to do it.
I sound like a jumbled mess in person, but get me in front of a keyboard and my thoughts flow in a far more structured manner. – Alethia Rains
Exactly my thoughts. With that, thank you. Over and out.
In my world 