You will be the death of me

DisastrousYou will be the death of me

You wouldn’t realise what you’re doing to me

With your bright eyes and sexy smile, it can get disastrous

Every time I see you I get weak

I think about you when I wake up and at night

You will be the death of me and I can’t help it

Your voice is music to my ears and I could hear you talk all day

You found my weakness and you don’t even know it

I keep insane because I know it’s only a fantasy

I should get a life but it’s easier to dream

It doesn’t matter what you do or who you see

I can’t get over how good you are as a person

You can hate me and push me away but I still wouldn’t let go

You will be the death of me and all you have to do is nothing

You got a hold on me and I know our paths will never meet

I don’t know why I keep torturing myself with this dream

You’re so hot in so many ways it hurts inside

You will be the death of me and I blame you

I want this feeling to go away but it’s difficult to hate you

Sometimes I wish you wouldn’t make me feel this way

But without that feeling, I would just be an empty shell

Bury myself in thought

spades in sandSometimes I bury myself in thought. Especially when it comes to writing fan fiction. When I have an idea, the writing can take days and during them, I get lost in thought. I stay in that state of mind and I might even forget the real life for a while. The fiction is better than reality and I need an escape from that. The fiction could take over if I don’t wake up to reality. I can get lost in my thoughts if it’s a person I’m thinking about or something I’ve seen entertainment wise. My mind goes everywhere at once. It can be stressful at times because I see things from different angles.

There’s more life inside my head than on the outside. I was once told my inside world should show on the outside but that’s impossible. First of all my world inside is impossible to fulfil because it’s not real. Secondly, if my inside world would be outside, no one would follow the script and most of it would be censored. The world just couldn’t handle my mind. You might see some of that world in my fiction but still, it doesn’t give the right idea. I’ll bury those thoughts in my head until the day I die. Or take that to my grave so no one will ever found out. Some thoughts should remain in the vault and never see daylight. Some of my thoughts are getting worse as I get older so it should remain hidden.

Some people want to bury their feelings because they think it’s weak to show emotions. But that’s like denying you’re human. Even if you don’t show emotion, you should at least have respect for others. A smile is never bad and if you had a bad day, you should still be friendly. If you work with clients, you should be able to play nice. I’ve seen a lot of cashiers in the store who doesn’t smile and that puts me right off. They shouldn’t work in a service occupation if they can’t be friendly. Sometimes you need to keep your emotions in check because you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. But if you bury all your feelings, nothing good will come out of it. So keep smiling because then the world smiles with you.