Christmas is a miraculous time. Like the job interview, I got yesterday. I’ve never thought anyone would see my LinkedIn profile. That’s how the person who hinted at the job found me. Things like that always happen to other people. I didn’t think LinkedIn, in general, was very useful in job search. It’s for those who have a wide range of connections and had former jobs. I also don’t want to use the premium version that probably could open better options. I used the trial version but it wasn’t really for me. I don’t know how many Finnish employers actually search for future employees there. There are job offers in Finnish but much more abroad. Either way, it really is miraculous that I got a job interview in the first place. That doesn’t happen every day. I didn’t even believe it before I actually read the confirmation email that it wasn’t a dream.

If I get the job, it really will be miraculous. It’s not that I don’t think well enough of my abilities but I still doubt. When you go through life that hasn’t had much luck, you think you’ll never get anything good. As you get older, you realise things could be worse. You don’t need to live like anyone else. Have the courage to stay true to yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. I wouldn’t want to go back to the past. There are things that I could tell my younger self. But then I probably wouldn’t know what I know now. You live and learn. Learning from your mistakes is the best education you can get. I wish I would have done things earlier but it’s still not too late.

My goals have changed many times.  As a teenager, I had a feeling I needed to rush things. I wanted to do so many things before 25 and when I did turn that age, that so-called life crisis kicked in. I was so disappointed I hadn’t accomplished a thing. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. Others had a job and a family to support. I spent all my time thinking about career choices. You hear about 30’s crisis and 40’s crisis but I didn’t have any of those. Maybe I feel attracted to younger men but they just happen to be younger. Nothing to do with age crisis. When the time has passed, I don’t really want what others have. I’m totally fine to be free. I can do what I want and I don’t want to lose that. Maybe it’s selfish but so is having something just because the society expects it. I didn’t rebel when I was a teen like most do. In a way, I do it now. I like being different. People can live their life the way they want. I’ve made a choice how to live mine.